My World Crumbles Around Me As I Cry.

Published by GrimDark in the blog GrimDark's blog. Views: 54

I have lost the love of my life. My closest friend, my "special somepony", if you will, committed suicide Saturday night, February 2nd, 2013. Her name was Sophia, and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes on. She loved me for who I was, and did not care about what others said. She befriended the monster in my heart. It was Sophia who had first introduced me to My Little Pony. Her favorite character was Fluttershy, and the two were very much alike. She was shy, kind, loving, and caring. She loved animals and nature. I was going to introduce her to Everypony.com and have her create an account. But none of that matters anymore. Sophia was the one who had supported my writing career, and she was responsible for getting me to try out fanfics. Her favorite genres of literature were horror, suspense, and romance. Three days ago, she asked me to write a story, a romantic, horror, or a mix of the two centered around Fluttershy. I promised her that I would, just for her. I have a promise to fulfill, so please, someone help me... I can't do this on my own. The world has betrayed me, and society has turned its back on me. I would like to have at least a chapter of a fiction posted by May 23rd, her birthday. I don't understand why fate had to take her from me... she did nothing wrong, she was the very embodiment of innocence, so... why did this tragedy happen?

"I don't want to change the world, I want to see it bathed in fire." -GrimDark
Feb 4, 2013
  • NotWhatWeExpected
    NotWhatWeExpected Feb 4, 2013
    That... wow...
    I paused my music for a minute of silence for Sophia.

    I can provide help for the fic, if you so wish. I'm not much of a romance/horror type, but I can make things work.
  • Eluuna
    Eluuna Feb 5, 2013
    Jesus.
    Listen, if you need to talk, or anything, feel free to PM me, ok?
    So much death on EP nowadays.
  • GrimDark
    GrimDark Feb 5, 2013
    Thanks, you two. Really, thanks for being there for me. :smile:

    "I don't want to change the world, I want to see it bathed in fire." -GrimDark
  • Aragon Oathkeeper
    Aragon Oathkeeper Feb 5, 2013
    My Dear Stallion

    When i read this post, i had to stop my music and my work. For this. Many condolences to you my friend.
    If you every need a pony to talk too PM me as well. And also i am a bit of a romance and a bit of action writer myself. I can help make your dear Sophia's wish come true as well.
  • GrimDark
    GrimDark Feb 5, 2013
    Jhera, Eluuna, Aragon Oathkeeper; thank you for being there, for me and more importantly, for my dear Sophia. You're all so nice, something I don't believe I deserve. I couldn't protect her, but I can avenge her.

    Send me your ideas, if you want. I will most definitely use them. Anything, anything at all...

    "I don't want to change the world, I want to see it bathed in fire." -GrimDark

    "She taught me to love, but I still gave in to hate." -GrimDark, upon learning of Sophia's tragic death
  • The Davidson Nation
    The Davidson Nation Feb 5, 2013
    :,(that is the most saddest thing ever I'm so sorry for you lost PM me and I will help in anyway I can.
  • GrimDark
    GrimDark Feb 5, 2013
    It makes me... happy... to see that there are some who care...

    "I don't want to change the world, I want to see it bathed in fire." -GrimDark
  • Yamiookami
    Yamiookami Feb 5, 2013
    There are no words for these kinds of events. I can't imagine what you must be going through, but I implore you not to shut down and close yourself off to the world...If you need someone to talk to, you can feel free to contact me as well.
  • Dark Samus
    Dark Samus Feb 5, 2013
    Just can't imagine... Anything I feel here will just not compare to what you're going through... Let it all out. Take it out on me if you have to. Just don't keep it all inside.
  • GrimDark
    GrimDark Feb 5, 2013
    I already have shut myself off from outside contact... I cannot tolerate the cruelty it has shown me... And, I refuse to let anyone else get hurt because of my hideous monster... I shall not bestow my wrath upon my remaining friends.... I promise not to hurt any of you.

    "I don't want to change the world, I want to see it bathed in fire." -GrimDark
  • Heartfire
    Heartfire Feb 5, 2013
    I don't have any words to express how much i feel for you right now, it must be horrible for you. :(

    You know we are always here for you if you should ever need us.
  • Pain
    Pain Feb 5, 2013
    I'll say the same prayer that I did on December 28th, 2009, when the famous drummer Jimmy "The Rev" Sullivan died...it's not much but it's truly the way my heart reaches out.
    Although God took [her] from us [she's] in a much better place, looking back on us and waiting to see if what she left was worth it. [Her] pain is gone, her hands are tied, but [she] is counting on us all to find our way without [her], in this time of sadness. [Her friendship] will be missed, but we can take pride in the fact that one of us got to know [her], even if [she] had a short life, all we can do is look back on the ways it was a good life and try to deal with the pain. [She's] playing her own ballad behind the pearly gates."
    I'm sorry if this doesn't help...but from what I heard, she deserved the speech dedicated to the man I live my life by...and I speak for all of us here when I say that we'd all be glad to lend a hoof in helping you. Seriously. Stay strong, and keep her in your mind, and later you'll find that she'll be there when you need her guidance most.
    -Bolt.
  • GrimDark
    GrimDark Feb 5, 2013
    Thanks, Heartfire....

    "I don't want to change the world, I want to see it bathed in fire." -GrimDark
  • Heartfire
    Heartfire Feb 5, 2013
    I'll be around if you need somepony to talk to as well.
  • GrimDark
    GrimDark Feb 5, 2013
    God!? That holier-than-thou bastard stole her from me. I know I wasn't a perfect human being, nor did I follow the ways of religion, but no, that f***er just had to take her! What did she do wrong!? Nothing, you hear me? She didn't do ANYTHING wrong! I-I... I hate God for what he did... I hate him... I just want her back... I need her.......
    I'm sorry... I'm sorry if anyone was offended by what I said... I'm so sorry...

    "I don't want to change the world, I want to see it bathed in fire." -GrimDark
  • GrimDark
    GrimDark Feb 5, 2013
    I'm so sorry for my actions... I'm so sorry...

    "She taught me to love, but I still gave in to hate." -GrimDark, upon learning of Sophia's tragic death
  • Heartfire
    Heartfire Feb 5, 2013
    In my opinion, its better to let it out rather than keeping it in where it can do a lot more harm.

    But thats just my opinion you don't have to listen to me
  • GrimDark
    GrimDark Feb 5, 2013
    Thank you for the speech, Fluttershyisbestpony, but she deserves life, not an eternity of despair.


    "I don't want to change the world, I want to see it bathed in fire." -GrimDark

    "She taught me to love, but I still gave in to hate." -GrimDark, upon learning of Sophia's tragic death
  • GrimDark
    GrimDark Feb 5, 2013
    Sophia's family abandoned her, and I abandoned mine. We sought the warmth emanating from each others' hearts. I rekindled the fire in hers, she lit the fire in mine. No being had the right to cut the thread, and I would've gladly given my life for hers. I couldn't save her... she slipped from my arms. My heart was ripped in two, I don't know why I carry on... Perhaps it's what she would have wanted... Perhaps this is how I atone for my sins, I cannot wash away my blood-stained past... but I can make more stains along the way. I'll show her the way. I won't change the world, I'll create a new one instead. Just for her.

    I love you Sophia.

    "I don't want to change the world, I want to see it bathed in fire." -GrimDark

    "She taught me to love, but I still gave in to hate." -GrimDark, upon learning of Sophia's tragic death
  • Pain
    Pain Feb 6, 2013
    I think she is living on both here and in an eternity of wealth...nothing she did would have put her in an eternity of despair...and she's not in one, either. Trust me on this, she deserved a warrior's welcome into a blissful afterlife, and I think she got one. And I'm sorry, because I realize that I had no place here anyway and all I did was bother someone in mourning...
  • GrimDark
    GrimDark Feb 7, 2013
    No..., you didn't bother me... nothing anyone does here will bother me... All you did was try to help a friend who was mourning a bitter defeat, and an ultimate loss. Mourning is for two things: grieving the loss of someone you held closer to your heart than anyone else; and to recieve the compassion of others, as they try to comfort you... I said she was in an eternity of despair because she had nobody, until we met each other, and yet, she has nobody once more...

    "I don't want to change the world, I want to see it bathed in fire." -GrimDark
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