Social Awkwardness

Discussion in 'General discussion' started by DoDo1234, Feb 15, 2012.

  1. DoDo1234

    DoDo1234 The Awkward one

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    Hey, everypony!
    Basically, as some of you may know, or probably guessed from the MC chat conversations 'n stuff, I'm really socially awkward (or as others might call it, socially unskilled). That is, I often find it hard to converse and make friends. A lot of the time I just sit there and listen to the conversation, not really knowing how to input. But where I normally find it tough is in the 1 on 1 conversations- It's harder to go unnoticed during these, lol. I often find it difficult knowing how to keep a conversation going, how to respond to others.
    I guessed that there are others around here who have these problems too. So could anybody please share any tips and advice on how to overcome this? It can be quite a pain sometimes...

    Thank y'all!
     
    #1 DoDo1234, Feb 15, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2012
  2. greyOne

    greyOne Princess of the Forum
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    Start with generic questions such as:

    How are you?

    OR

    What's new?

    OR

    How was your day?

    Having asked those,
    If something comes up from these questions,
    You can work into getting a topic going.

    Also I've found a really good way to get a topic going
    Is to just blurt out a statement vaguely related to a topic,
    And working into the given topic after the predicably "lolwut?".

    Take these from me.
    94% introverted based on the Jung Typology exam.
     
  3. Echoax

    Echoax Greed Probably
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    I have the same problem.

    The only tip I can give that helped me is : turn off the voice in your head. I kinda just say what ever enters my head now.

    Sorry I can't be more help then that.

    -- Sent from my Palm Pre using Forums
     
  4. Merri

    Merri Retired Staff / Merri Ol' Soul

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    Ah... socially awkwardness...
    So, you are surely more likely to be an introvert. I can relate.

    I for one, am not socially awkward, although I used to be, and I still can be depending on the subject of a previous discussion, common misconception, or a "bad start" when meeting someone new.
    I like making friends. I'm charismatic like that, but the way I pulled my head out the sand is to just be random sometimes.
    If a conversation goes still, I name a TV Show, or a Movie, then things spiral off into further discussion, which can lead to friendship with most people!

    If you don't really want to talk at all, and just hide in the shadows, then it is really your own decision to get in there and give everyone a shot. Life is short, you make some enemies, but you mostly make friends, and sitting there doing nothing makes nothing.

    Get out there and get talking! Hope this helped... :I
     
  5. Rashall

    Rashall Master of the Veil Fire

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    ^ what Pixel said

    start talking about stuff you're interested in and see if anyone is interested in the same thing.

    That's how it works for me sometimes.
     
  6. Merri

    Merri Retired Staff / Merri Ol' Soul

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    :Trollestia: I'm not Pixel, silly.
     
  7. Xaniith

    Xaniith Princess of the Forum
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    Ha! I can very easily relate to this :3

    I have Avoidant Personality Disorder (among a lot of other things) and really struggle talking to people. Forums fine, but chatting and talking (with skype or whatever) is really hard for me. What normally happens is people talking to me and I just respond, and thats it.

    So I know what you're going through. Unfortunately because of this, I'm in the same boat, and cannot really give any advise, but I hope it helps to know that there are others like you, perhaps even worse.
     
  8. Cloudy Bounce

    Cloudy Bounce A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    I'm a born extrovert who loves being around people, so I can't really empathize. But my best suggestion would be fake it till you make it. Think of it as a play or a movie. Pretend to be someone who isn't socially awkward and then eventually you'll just start honestly feeling that way. That's how I gained my self confidence. I used to think I was pretty worthless, but then one day I decided I didn't like being that way. So I changed it. Now I am the most confident rockingest lady to ever grace these fair internets ^_^ <3
     
  9. Genesis890

    Genesis890 A Pony Every Pony Should Know

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    You have the same problem I have, but the conversation will become easier when you have something to relate to. Like, ponies for example, or video games. Just something you before know of so you can get the ball rolling. It's fine if you don't interject into a conversation because I do the same thing. Also, sometimes it's best to be quiet and listen, because you will remember it better than those who talk all the time.
     
  10. SR20DETDOG

    SR20DETDOG Living an unreal reality
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    Ahh, social awkwardness, how I despise you. I just did that Jung Typology exam and got 100% introverted, lol!

    Unfortunately I haven't any great or specific advice to offer, I've been trying to work through it myself, the best I've got is to recommend you is to just get out there. I simply accepted the fact that I'm going to have a lot of awkward social moments and that there's no point dwelling on them, take every opportunity that comes your way to socialise, and just keep doing it.

    I'm still pretty socially awkward, but no where near as much as I used to be. I don't think it really shows much on forums since I have plenty of time to collect my thoughts and write a cohesive post.

    Anyway, I wish you luck with your social life.

    EDIT: Woah, seven people posted in the time it took me to write this :derpe:
     
  11. Radaboy

    Radaboy Everypony's Resident Black Guy

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    Well there's nothing wrong with being an introvert, but if you want to be more of an extrovert, my advice would be to start out with basic input that would not create an awkward atmosphere and escalate from there.
     
  12. Merri

    Merri Retired Staff / Merri Ol' Soul

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    Took that Jung Typology Test and I'm 22% extroverted. (ENFP)

    Hm... interesting.
     
  13. Aynine

    Aynine Angel of Maledict Fortune

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    I tend to just introduce myself to friends of friends at parties, and then we all just start talking about a common subject. You just need to find a common interest to talk about. Being able to gauge people certainly helps, though. I tend to choose my words with the most neutral meaning when talking to new people, or how they would speak.
     
  14. Xaniith

    Xaniith Princess of the Forum
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    89% Introverted for me (ISFJ)

    Whenever I'm in a group larger than like 3, I just get ignored all the time so I don't bother talking much anyway...
    when it comes down to it, I guess I have no rl friends :cry:
    My 'friends' are jerks, immature, and care very little for me.
     
  15. greyOne

    greyOne Princess of the Forum
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    *hugs the Xan*


    Sent from my iPod touch 4G using Tapatalk
     
  16. Merri

    Merri Retired Staff / Merri Ol' Soul

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    This.
    This is the same for me... well, for most of them. :/
     
  17. greyOne

    greyOne Princess of the Forum
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    *adds Merri to the Xan hug*


    Sent from my iPod touch 4G using Tapatalk
     
  18. Radaboy

    Radaboy Everypony's Resident Black Guy

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    *adds jay to the xan hug*
     
  19. Merri

    Merri Retired Staff / Merri Ol' Soul

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    *hugs ALL the bronies!*
     
  20. Echoax

    Echoax Greed Probably
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    Wow. My advice is being pointed at. YAY.

    Serioulsy though, if I'm just standing around during break. I just talking about random junk.

    Like if I had I time machine and took dubstep to the 1950s, what would happen. That turned into an hour discussion.

    -- Sent from my Palm Pre using Forums
     

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