Hello, my good friends. Tonight, I did something I rather shouldn't have. Usually, I don't feel guilt for things I do. But because of that, I think that every time I do, it hits me harder than it should. The thing is, I hate feeling emotion. It slows down everything, no matter what emotion it is. I tend to be in a zen, reactive state. But on days where I feel emotion... Anyway, I decided I was sick of parental controls on my computer. My dad put them there to make sure I didn't stay up late, but what's the fun in that? So I did what anyone would do- broke into his account and turned them off. For some reason, I feel horrid for doing so. I've done worse before, MUCH worse. But for some reason, I feel like this has just impacted me more. Maybe it's just that I do this way too often, that I need to start doing what I'm told; or just that I feel I've gone too far. Or perhaps I feel I should not cheat my father, for he is the victim of cheating already? And that brings another thing into the picture. My father is very disappointed in me. I seem to screw up everything he tells me to do, and all that does is make me look stupid. Normally, I wouldn't care much. My mother hates me, and I hate her back. But my father shares a different connection. I'm named after his best friend, who was killed by a drunken boat driver. This was the lowest point of his life, and he never did recover from the shock of his best friend bleeding out in the hospital. I can tell he expected me to be so much more, but what he got just made him feel like he messed up with me. But enough of being off topic. I am feeling guilt, and I hate that. Does anypony know how to deal with guilt?
I remember you complain life is bland. Have you considered feeling things? Variety is the spice of life, after all. Zen is cool if you know what it is outside of it. As for guilt, the best thing is to just consider why, and then maybe try to fix it.
Make up to your father what you have done wrong. I also screwed up a few times, I said I am sorry to my parents and from then on I was nicer to them and more respectful, Make your mom a cup of coffee, Say "Good Morning" to them even when you don't feel like it. You'll soon find that your parents will like you even more and forgive you for anything you did wrong. What I did was I asked my father for help when I thought I would mess something up. He showed me the proper way to do it and I got it done, Sometimes I try to do things on my own but I mess it up. I felt guilty afterwards and so I asked my dad to show me how. For you I think the best bet is to turn on the parental controls again, sometimes redoing what you undid helps a lot. Or you could apologise. You'll feel much better afterwards I promise!
well, you have to understand that your father also probably has hard time, and he only wants best for you. Now, to remove guilt, you could turn on parental control, and go talk to your father asking him to remove them for you. That way you won't have any guilt on yourself, and you might get what you wanted in first place. Whenever you're feeling guilt, best thing is to talk to people involved, use kind words, and try to fix things you did wrong, if it can't be fixed, you could do something nice to involved people.
As a person who dislikes parental controls as I feel it violates trust between parents and child. I would say you should explain to him openly how you feel, be honest to him and explain why you did what you did. But of course I am speaking from the perspective of a culture that is very lax in terms of parenting, where children are expected to be mostly independant at the age of 12.
Maybe you should turn Parental Controls back on, then gently bring up the idea of having your father remove them. If he says no, then just deal with the Parental Controls.
Or just switch Parental Controls and set it so it never blocks you. When I tried, my Dad found out and changed the password. It's been 12 months now and I still can't figure out the password to his account.
My parents couldn't use parental controls against me, or anything that limited my PC. Look, I wouldn't feel guilty doing it because I always maintained good grades in school. After staying up late for a lot of WoW raids back in the day, my mom/brother and I came to the agreement that I could stay up as long as I wanted so long as I went to school and kept decent grades. I was so happy because I was still pretty much an honor roll student on 2-4 hours of sleep. End result: stayed up for 36 hours to complete two WoW raids, 2 finals, and still experienced lucid dreams for the first time. My finals scores (Civics and Biology) were 94 and 95. If you can't do something like that (mind you, you will need to catch up on the sleep debt eventually), then perhaps it's best to just go to bed on time. With the parental controls disabled, you can prove you're responsible, too. I don't know your dad, but maybe he could see it that way.
Ah, that moment in every fledgling hacker's life when he finds the color of his hat is not so black afterall eh? Guilt is good for us (not a good feeling, but good for our general direction). It gives us pause to wonder if we are guilty for good or bad reasons. Mostly we are guilty for good reason and we start to look at things through the eyes of others like you just did. Hay, it could be worse dude. When I was like 15, my parents banned me from using a computer for 3 months. @_@ Thats like 3 years in hacker cycles. I'd say, just talk to your dad about wanting more computer time. If you can't think of good reasons for having more computer time, maybe you don't really have any and you just need to diversify your hobbies. But yeah, even if your parents seem unreasonable if you follow the rules overall or even feign obedience for a while, sometimes they slacken up on you. Once you are 18 you can move out and vanish in to the aether B) kind of like I did. You know what? After all the weird rules I put up with about computer stuff, my dad bought me a year of cable Internet for Christmas the year I moved out. ;u; Your parents are imperfect people too as we all are. They feel just as much pressure to be good parents as you do to make them proud. Just keep following your conscience and their job will be that much easier. A little sacrifice is good for the soul.
A computer hacker, eh? You should teach me some time. I've tried and failed to get into certain things, such as the school's grading system. My grades are rather low this year, so I thought I'd just mess with some of the others (insert maniacal laugh). Well the guilt I felt is gone. I turned them back on, but now all I worry about is how I can improve my father-son relationship. I've already gathered that he hates me almost as much as my mom, so... ah, screw it. If I wanted him to like me, I wouldn't have vandalized his property. In case y'all haven't noticed, I'm an ass. I'm not sure why I felt guilt, but at least I can rest assured that I'll be fine for the next few hours, then I'll be hated at school as usual, then I can go home where everyone still hates me... then I can have a dream where I do something exciting... then the cycle restarts.... Anyway, y'all don't have to worry about the guilt problem. Now I just have to worry about surviving the angry gang members that threaten me at school! Hooray!
I hate to say it, but you are really creating at least part of your own problems. One should never hack for selfish reasons. Only for great justice. But it is probably better someone give you some direction before you get in trouble or something so I guess the first lesson is NEVER POST ANYTHING ILLEGAL YOU HAVE DONE EVER! XD
*squee* Getting my Dad to turn off my Parental Controls is about as likely as Discord and the Mane Six liking each other.
