Being introverted

Avast, there's a wall of text incoming! I'd still appreciate if you took the time to read this, though. It's a general message from me, to both the introverted and the extraverted people out there.

So the term 'introverted' has kept me busy for a while now. It began with seeing this post on my mylittlebrony:



Of course labeling someone as an 'introvert' or an 'extravert' is never completely accurate, as is the case with any kind of label, but let's for now assume there's both people who are mostly introverted and people who are mostly extraverted.

I've red that the major difference between the two is that while extraverts draw their energy from social interaction and exchange, introverts find a lot of comfort in being alone with their own thoughts and interests. They have less or even very little need for social interaction, and are often not very skilled in it. But this doesn't necessarily make them antisocial or reserved people. It's just in their nature that they need their time alone, and tend to feel overwhelmed when having to deal with too much social interaction.

I'm an introvert myself. I'm almost eighteen now, and I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that it isn't going to change, but also that there isn't necessarily anything wrong with me being the way I am. I spend little time socializing with other humans, mostly with one very close friend (who happens to be more of an extravert). I'm bad at small talk, especially with people I don't know very well / don't have anything in common with. And in a group I'm usually very quiet, so I don't make new acquaintances very often.

My whole life I've constantly beaten myself up for being socially awkward and not having many friends. I felt different, and thus inferior. But now I notice that once I start accepting myself for not being very social, but therefore not less of a human being, I also become more open to social contact. Probably because when I accept myself for who I am I'm not so scared of being judged anymore. I'll never be a party animal or someone with loads of friends, but that's just part of who I am. It can't be changed, it wouldn't be right to change it, and we have to take ourselves for who we are, right?

A week ago I went to a brony meet-up. Which kind of is a huge bucking thing for me to do. Even though I was pretty nervous, I still wanted to go just to see what it'd be like. There were around 60 people (apparently we have quite a few bronies here in Holland), and I knew nobody. Still I did my best to be social, and I actually had a few nice conversations. I talked to some nice people, played Magic The Gathering, and even though I had plenty of awkward 'don't know what to say / who to talk to - moments', generally I had a good time. But it also made me realize that big and chaotic social gatherings will never really become my thing, no matter how nice everyone is. If I'm to open up in a group, I first need a calm and stable group of people, a safe environment, and some time to observe first.

So why do so many introverted people think low of themselves? This, I think, is caused by the desire to be 'normal'. It isn't easy being an introverted person in a extravert-based society. TV and the media tell us that having many friends is the only way to be happy and to find your place in this world. At school and at many jobs we are forced to constant social interaction. We are expected to be skilled in this, and often there isn't much opportunity to draw back for a while. And when I becomes clear you are socially awkward, the chance of being picked on by your peers arises.

I think the whole point of me writing this, aside from getting some stuff off my chest, is to get two messages across. So first, here's to the other introverted people out there who may still be struggling hard. You are not alone. It's only natural that there's different kinds of people in this world, and you are fine the way you are. You don't have to change, and if you learn to love yourself for who you are, you will find your place in this world.

Secondly I'd like to address the extraverted people. Please be considerate towards introverts in your surroundings. Please understand that when we come across as reserved, we are not necessarily rejecting you. It may very well be this person is just feeling somewhat uncomfortable, or maybe not in the mood for social interaction. I'm confident that many (most) introverts are actually very kind people, with a strong desire for emotional connection on a personal level. At least that's the case for me. Extraverted or introverted, we all need friends. Because as Pinkie Pie states it:

There are many different kinds of friends, and many ways to express friendship. Some friends like to run and laugh and play together. But others just like to be left alone, and that's fine too. But the best thing about friendship is being able to make your friends smile.

 

I've also seen that happening in my best friend. He used to be pretty antisocial for years, but after he stopped taking his (heavy) medication he changed completely both in character and appearance.
Now he's a very social person, and also much more pleasant to be with.

It's not really that I tried to change myself, but I guess I was hoping it would pass sooner or later.
Of course people can change sometimes. But then again, often they don't. I think being introverted is just part of who I am, and I'm okay with it.

Aw snap, I went with the Dutch variant of the word.