As we all know, Easter is almost upon us. This caused me to unforget something. ALPHABETIZED. SOCKS. When I was a tiny tot, I caught a glimpse of the Easter Bunny. I was lying in bed when all of a sudden I WASN'T LYING IN BED ANYMORE! I was sitting up! I was sitting up just in time to see a looooooooooooooooooooooong bunny and/or rabbit ear disappear around the corner. Ever since that day. Which was actually more of a night. I would know. It was dark. I could see the moon HI LUNA! Ever since that day I've been trying to catch the Easter Bunny. I don't know WHY. It just seems legit. Like a legit thing. The most legit kind of things are legit ones. I don't know what legit means. Don't read this sentence. Anyway, I've tried all sorts of things to catch it; I poured dog food into the washing machine, left thirty frozen turkeys out on the lawn, NOTHING'S WORKING!! I even asked the telephone operator if she had any ideas! She didn't, but I think she likes me. So I berry much need your help! How can I catch the Easter Bunny?! Also, do your undies have buttons? Mine do, and it's the coolest thing ever. Of all time. I don't wear undies. But if I did, they'd have buttons. And it would be the coolest thing ever. Of all time. Sweedy in the farcy wyndsy filmatwelve.
You can catch the easter rabbit by hiring Santa Caluse to fire a holiday elf at the Haunnikah zombie, thus triggering the kwanze robot to fly into the milky way galaxy through a worm hole to the rabbits living area. The ninja rabbits will then escort the easter bunny to the house that started it all, and will then demand that you call off the attack. There's your answer.
One does not simply cath the Easter Bunny. According to South Park, the Easter Bunny was actually Saint Peter. Jesus made him head of the church because rabbits are purer than humans. That is why the Pope's hat is so big, to hide the ears. And since South Park is such an accurate source of information, we have to believe it.
