Well I have a question, actually a few questions. Do any of you guys actually "hate" someone. There are some people from the past that I dislike a lot, but I think the feeling of hate is so much stronger than actually disliking someone. The 1 person I could say I "hate" would be my oldest brother. Most people would say something like, "Oh it's your older brother. No one really likes their older brother." Every time I hear him speak it gets me aggravated. Everything he does annoys me, even stuff that's not suppose to be annoying. It's only because it's coming from him. He made me feel so bad about myself when I was a teenager that I almost commited suicide. Luckily for me those thoughts have passed because I'm happy as long as I have friends. He is very stupid with the internet and thinks that if anything is wrong in the slightest way, it's immediately my fault. He is the worst person I have ever known by far. I disconnected the router a few minutes ago and plugged the modem straight into my computer and he's suspected me of sharing his info on the internet. Just saying that he's making my blood boil from anger and I'm having all kinds of crazy thoughts. There is no other human alive who's ever made me feel like this. I want nothing to do with him anymore, but unfortunately I'm stuck living with him. He makes me so uncomfortable to the point where I want to ask my dad if I can live with him in Ohio. While ponies may fill my body with love and make me feel happy, he is the opposite in everyway. I was actually very happy last year when it was just me and my mom. We didn't have any furniture and slept on blow-up mattresses, but I was perfectly content. Ever since my brother moved in it's been horrible living here. He's always in a bad mood and tries to make everyone around him feel as bad as he does. If this thread is not allowed to be here, then I'm sorry and you can delete it. This is not a strong dislike, it is hate, and I am currently not in that bad of a mood since my blood level has decreased since the start of this post. How would you guys deal with something like this? I'd rather live in pergatory than spend 5 minutes around him. We may be blood, but I'll never consider him part of my "family." Too much damage has been done and is unforgivable. I always thought that horrible feeling I had for him would disappear when we became adults because it seems childish. Unfortunately that is not the case. In fact, it's worse now than it's ever been before. I never actually felt any strong connection with my family, but I was still content at parties and stuff as long as I didn't have to deal with him. Posting this will probably only fuel my hate for him, but I need to get other people's insight because it's killing me inside. I got picked on a little back in elementary school. I've forgiven him and we made peace last year because we both knew it was childish. My other brother used to beat my up all the time when we were kids and I remember telling my dad I would hate him forever. I have forgiven him and we have lots of fun together. I'm afraid I might do something I will regret if I just try to confront him. He's like poison. Okay I'm done whining. I'm going to play some Rock Band and put on ponies to cheer myself up.
Well im glad im the oldest child in my family now.And im the opposite of him in term of what i do with my brother. He's a troll...you can equate his behavior to an internet troll.Just ignore him and he will leave you alone. If your mom agrees with you,tell her to kick him out.
I personally do indeed hold hate for people, but it's not too big of a problem. It's obvious that I don't like them and they seem to only pick up on it when I allow it to be much more prevalent than it normally is. Hate is a normal thing because without hate, you really can't have love. As a result, I believe it's healthy to harbor a hate for something or someone as long as you don't allow such feelings to cloud your judgement on important matters or even your actions, especially your actions. Now I'm not saying to keep it in forever or to purposely hate something, that's silly. What I am saying however, is if you happen hate something, then don't parade around pretending that it has never bothered you, lying to yourself only makes the problem worse. As high of opinions we hold for ourselves, nobody is capable of keeping themselves from negative emotions like this for the entirety of their life. Instead, choose to accept them but not act on them; tolerate what you hate. Of course it doesn't mean you can't prank them every now and then.
I do "hate" some people, but some of them I merely hate their personality. Though that can get confusing I guess. I normally hold some of that hate up, and then use hone it into something that gives me a little more energy every now and then.
What to do? - Go to therapy - If you're religious, talk to a trusted religious authority about the issue - Learn how to meditate - Talk to your family about the issue and stress the seriousness of it for you - If all else fails, move away if you're old enough
Honestly when I came to this thread I thought it would be about haters and trolls but I can relate to ur kind. My older brother annoys the heck out of me when he speaks and even when he touches me he makes me mad.
Well first things first, you managed to get all of this off your chest, which is always a good start. Secondly, I'd say that your feelings are perfectly valid. Although it's not ideal, if he has been tormenting you for many years, there's bound to be some feeling of hate towards him. Since I've never really hated anyone, I can't guarantee any good advice, but I'll try. If I were you, I'd wait until both of you become more mature, especially him. You need to reach a point in time where he is mature enough to actually listen and you need to be mature enough to be able to control your flow of emotions without letting them all be released at once. Even if you are ready, I'd wait a bit until your brother matures a bit more. In an ideal world, by the time you both reach this age, you would forgotten about all of this and the two of you could get on. However, if this isn't the case, I'd either go with what I said or what others will say. They'll probably give better advice.
The meditate one works wonders, I should know my dad taught me how. The religious one for me is kind of awkward because I would be talking to myself essentially.
These may sound childish but they might help: 1:count to ten. If it doesn't work count to 100 .... Count to infinity if u have too. And 2. Ignore him. Don't think about ur hate and ignore it. I kno when I think about it I get even more pissed.
I should also add that there are 4 ways to deal with hate: - Take it out on others - Avoid it - Confront it and work it out - Forget about it Obviously you should try do choose either of the last 2 (preferably the last one). The second one is good for temporary measures only, especially if he's your brother. Try to do the 3rd option but if he fails to listen, just settle for the last option. Meditation is a really effective way to do it but it is quite hard to do it properly.
The problem is I can't shake that hateful feeling I get just from hearing his voice. Even when he sneezes it makes me mad, only because it's coming from him. He's 25 and I'm almost 23, and that's just not mature enough I suppose. The only way for us to get along is if we're not living together. I have no income so I'm bound here. The other option is to roam the streets unless I can get enough money to fly to Ohio to live with my dad. I feel perfectly fine all the time when I'm not around him. I've had companies try to screw me over and even sue me once and I kept my cool the whole time no problem. My options are: Erase my bad memories of him or leave. I do not like that boiling pressure I get in my system when I get mad. I actually feel like I'm losing consciousness when it happens. Raging on video games doesn't even come close to what I feel around him. It's kind of a subtle hate too. Instead of arguing he makes stupid remarks just to purposely try to make me mad. It's much harder to forget than you may think. As long as he's around, it doesn't end. He delights in starting conflict with me. That's probably the main reason why I can't forget it. I feel like he will always try to start something with me.
Here's my opinion. Hate the person all you want. But always want what's best for that person. Have that unconditional love for all people of all creeds and nations.
Hmm. In that case, I'd just try to ignore him for now. Take up a hobby that requires you to spend more time away from him. If you haven't talked to your parents about it, I'd do that now.. Try get one of them to talk to him. Maybe they'll be able to get through to him. If all else fails, just give him a taste of his own medicine. Make stupid remarks about what he does. If he asks why your being a douche, just tell him that you're doing what he does to you. I've given two completely different ideas on how to deal with this. Sorry that my advice isn't brilliant, I've not got much experience. I just usually forget about anything that annoys me.
I just talked to my mom about him again and she says she's fed up with him too. He makes everyone in my family angry in some way, but she won't kick him out because he's her kid. After venting with her I heard his car start. I hope he was listening to what I had to say. He's in a bad mood like 24/7 and he spreads it around like a cold. It makes this house a very uncomfortable place to live. His anger makes me and my mom mad.
Well it's good start if she share's these opinions with you. I'd say you have to encourage your Mum to talk to him about it. Not necessarily kick him out, but try to get him to change his attitude. If you can get your Mum to give your brother some tough love, it might change him.
If Nick Griffin, head of the BNP (British nationalist party) counts. Otherwise, I don't hate anyone ^_^ Sent from my iPad (Third Generation) using Tapatalk HD
Next time tensions are hot, I'll do my best to ignore anything he says. He loves to see me get mad so it will probably have reverse effects. I just walked out in the living room and he was there with my mom. I ignored him completely and didn't feel my blood pressure rise. I just hope I can keep my cool next time he tries to make me mad.
In addition to the advice of everyone else, if you feel totally comfortable with it, try to find out why he's always in a bad mood. Empathy, and the feeling that someone cares can go a long way. But really, only if you feel comfortable doing it, and if he doesn't want to talk about it, just leave it at that. It might work, and even if it doesn't he might feel better knowing that you care enough to ask him.
my advice: as long as you are living together, just try to ignore him. put on headphones and turn yourself out of the real world until he's over. in mean time, since you can't move, and he's older, you can suggest to your mom to help him find a job, and apartment of his own, so that wouldn't be kicking him out, but rather, helping him be independent. as result, he'd be out of the house.
Even simple controlled breathing exercises can be very beneficial. I try to tell everyone I can about the benefits of mindfulness training. One needn't be a Buddhist or anything to get the most out of it. Christians get meditative benefits out of prayer, from what I can tell, but due to the selfish nature of how most people approach prayer, it isn't quite as effective.
