*WARNING* THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS A LONG AND POSSIBLY BORING READ!!! IF YOU ARE EASILY BORED OF THESE THREADS THEN DO NOT READ THE MAIN ARTICLE AND JUST GO TOO THE SUMMARY!!! Alright let me start from the beginning....Back about 6 years ago when I was in Elementary and transferring over too middle school. I was a smart kid too say the least. I was planning on going to a particular school for its' pre-IB program. (Those of you who don't know what the IB program is...It's basically a step up from the gifted or honor classes. If you want more info the PM me or just look it up.) When I first got there everything was doing fine and dandy...The classes were actually pretty challenging and fun, I also had a lot of friends who i was perfectly happy and fine with. Then all of sudden....BOOM...A depression out of literally no where hits me like a ton of bricks. (Though after pondering a bit I realized it was from my already screwed-up past with my family.) That's when it all went down hill. It first started out as me being pissed off and mad all the time. Then I became miserable when I dropped out of the pre-IB program and went straight too standard. I spent about 2/3 of my 6th grade year like that...Just moping in a corner of my own self-pity. It only got worst during the 7th year. I started to get meds for it but they only made it worst and ruined my appetite. Even though I was practically begging the doc's too stop giving them too me the insisted on making me take them. So I sucked it up and blame myself for all of the **** that was happening too me. During my 7th year in school not much happened...Besides a fight with my teachers and the constant lecturing I got from my parents. My 8th year in middle school was when things got really bad...But the worst was yet too come. If i were to describe everything that happened in my 8th year in school, It would take about two more articles. So too sum it all up i'll put it like this.: I ended up dropping all the way down too ESE classes (Basically the classes for 'special' kids.) My parents constantly kept on taking **** away from me too the point where I had a choice of: starting to get C's and keeping a room (which was empty at this point) or I could just end up sleeping in the garage or porch. I tried too knock myself out of it then...But it kept on coming around. It was a viscous cycle of self-pity, self-blame and all around misery. Then 9th grade came around....THAT'S WHEN **** HIT THE FAN!!! The misery I was feeling started turning into pure rage. I ended up becoming defiant to everyone and everything. It got so bad that I remember at one time I jumped off of my roof shouting: "NOTHING CAN TELL ME WHAT TOO DO ANYMORE NOT EVEN GRAVITY!!!" I was rewarded with a wake up in the hospital and a broken leg. I started too smoke Marijuana at first just too be disobedient, then I found out that it was the only thing that kept me from being angry or miserable....until the high was over. I started to avoid everyone and be mean to my actual friend, at the same time making friends with liars and thugs. I thought that they were my kind. That they were my true friends....I can't tell you how wrong I was now. I started breaking relationships and started to outright be mean and rude too my friends. I remember one thing I did to one of my closest friends, something that i'll never forgive myself for...I bastardized him, I insulted him, I did everything I could too make his life a living hell...Just because he was happier than me. Most of my 10th grade year was spent in a community center/shelter for teens. I refused too take my meds. (I told the doctors to F themselves because it wasn't working...T'was one of the very few things i did that was good during this depression.) I was held back this year... This is also the year when my Smoking habits got very bad...Nothing else really happened besides me and my parents constantly getting into fights. Right before this summer started, I began too think what happened too me...What happened to my happiness... What happened too my friends...What happened too my dreams... AND THAT was when the wall that used too keep me confined in that dark space of misery shattered into millions of pieces. I remembered back too when I was young and wondered: "How did I go through all that crap when I was just that young... Yet here I am now, a depressed pile of ****, and yet things really couldn't be better without asking too much." I started remembering what I did when I was young... What was the most prominent thing too me during that time? I asked myself. Kind of understandably it was DBZ. I loved that show, and still do. So I began surfing the internet and ended up DLing all the episode of DBZ on my computer. After watching them all I felt... lifted... like it was still in the back of my mind but i was certainly in a better mind set than what I was before hand. It revived my childhood fantasy and feelings that were for so long dead and gone. But what blew me completely out of the depression was this community. It was funny really...I remember how I first got into the watching the first episode anyway... Some argument was going on one of Tobuscus's Youtube video and after reading it I was completely dumbfounded... But open minded. A guy watches a show about ponies?! Iv'e got too watch this... But wait. Isn't it for little girls.... Meh why not? I told myself. Nothing better to do really. So one episode turned too 5. 5 turned too 18. 18 turned into an entire season... And just like that i watched all the episodes of MLP season 1 and 2. But I felt a little lonely... I wanted too become part of the community but i was afraid because of all the bad things iv'e heard that have come from them... But with a set mind I stepped into the apparent rat's nest and realized that it was pretty fun... I actually enjoy myself when i'm on this site. When the summer ended and I was given another chance to amend my sins and wrongs too my friends I planned on doing so. No matter how much humility or scorn I get from them I would apologize too all of them. If not for them, then for me. I also planned on announcing that was an official brony too the whole school... LO AND BEHOLD!!! All of my friends were bronies and accepted me with open arms... It was like they understood that I wasn't myself. They were also happy too see that I was back too normal finally. While all that was happening, at the same time all my fake friends started too instantly call me gay... That's when I saw through all of it... I saw through their lies... Their insults... Their stupidity... They all were strong... But that was just about it. They all acted like they were bad asses but they never were. In fact they were a bunch of jerks and liars. Now i'm happy too say that I yet again have a bright future ahead of me, I have most of my friends back, and all those bad habits I developed during the depression are broken... Besides smoking Marijuana... Honestly after doing some research I don't see anything that bad about it as long as you keep yourself in check. There is one more thing I would like too bring up... It's about the kid i bullied... What I did too him is unforgivable, I told him that myself, I don't expect any mercy or sympathy from him ever... I even gave him my entire 2-week paycheck (which was about 230 dollars.) He says he forgives me for what I did... I told him that i'll never forgive myself, but i'm grateful and happy that he has the heart to do what I cannot. He's the one that's stronger than me truly. Anyway I wanted too share my story with you all. I also wanted too do what I haven't ever gotten around too doing yet... THANK YOU!!! I COULD NEVER EVER EVER!!! REPAY THIS COMMUNITY FOR WHAT IT HAS DONE FOR ME!!! I will be willing to do anything for anybrony at anytime. I owe it too you all. Summary: I went into a 6 year depression and my life was screwed over. But thanks too DBZ and Ponies and this community, I have been able too improve and fix my life...THANK YOU!!!
You were in 10th grade...and they called you gay? That's something I'd expect from 12-year-olds to be quite honest. Still, I'm glad you enjoy it so much here! c:
It haven't gotten that bad.But I've been depressed and psychotic since 2005. I snapped.Gfnadlkjdgjldfgfdklgbdlbfg make it stop.... The medications stop the voices but they make me feel suicidal and i cant think clearly.Only when they wear off (Usually late at night)Can i think.And i feel MANIC! Like im on something. Even though im not. So i spend most of the day confused and unwilling to do anything simply because it would take too much effort. Then it goes away at night and i feel like "AJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!!!"Until my sleep meds finally kick in.
Great to see that this community has given you hope. I hope that you manage to keep up being the new you.
*Begins to play the American Anthem.* Yup... They say there's no other place on the earth like America...I agree with them, but I think it's for different reason. I'm certainly not gonna let what happen too me in 6th grade happen to me again. I have too much talent and too many things that I want to do in life for that to happen.
That's cool that it made your life better. As for me, I was in the mindset that every human is bad and to stay away from everyone and assume they are a bad guy. Then I found out about bronies and realized the community was full of nice people who would never screw someone over. In other words, mankind has regained my trust because of a little girl's TV show.
It's awesome that you were able to draw strength from something positive in your life and use that empowerment constructively. Good job!
Wow. You are one... Hmm... That was an interesting life story. That's amazing though, life changing from a Flash cartoon about ponies. Inspiration. Not the insane part. That wasn't brain. Was buried bad.
This story is very interesting. Reminds of me of my experience of my childhood but granted today that I always been happy but never in school till 10th grade when I transferred to a better school. Back in 5th grade I had friends and everything was fine and dandy but in 6th grade, something happen to my so called friends. Between 5th and 6th, something clicked during that time period and again during between 8th and 9th. I was bullied for a long time just because I was being myself at the time for that, it was told to me from these kids that it wasn't right. I was happy after high school was over but it took a while to get over this judgement stage of my life that high school is over with and now be yourself again. If it weren't for the this community, then I think I might of been lost and I have to credit my Mother. Nowadays, I'm happy and free to be myself again. Not caring what others say to me. I am the weird guy that I am once again.
That was beautiful. *Tear* I'm so happy that we helped in such a big way! We're here for you, and if you ever need help, I'll try to help!
