So, since there isn't a thread about it here, let's start talking about it serious in here. Relationships are a strange and often difficult thing. It's hard to describe what it feels like to be in one, so what are everyones experiences with them?
Soo well i could say im quite experienced... From a two day relationship to a nearly three years relationship i had like everything =P I find it so hard to describe what for example "love" is. In my opinion everyone experiences it different and you can not be sure sometimes even for yourself if you really are in love. What in my opinion is really important is a "warm" feeling. When i imagine someone who i think i really like or even love i have this warm feeling inside of me.i dont have butterlies in my stomach or something but just this warm feeling, that makes you grin when you think about "the one". And for my next sentence however i would need to swear (but i wil not do it)... Love is a false friend. and your heart can be an idiot. Simple like that. You can feel very good in a relationship and *zap* here have another guy that is very interesting, kind, interested in you and also has to be very good looking and you also feel that kind of warm feeling for him. Wow thanks mind and heart. You are really good friends Love and relationships in my mind are very difficult, because they make up a huge part of our life.
Relationships are a tricky thing, and that's honestly so because of the nature of the connection, and that's exactly what it is and what makes it so complex; a bond. It's the will choice of two people to essentially become intertwined in a very personal way and as a result it naturally requires a vast amount of maturity from both sides. When they say communication is key, that's because there's nothing that holds as much truth. That bond is reliant on the happiness of the two and as a result they must fend for each other as well as themselves; make each other happy, and how is that possible without knowing what exactly it is that makes them happy in the first place? They say men are from Mara, and women are from Venus, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. All a man is, is a woman who is anatomically different, and all a woman is, is a man who is anatomically different; but they're still people. This means that although every person is different, they're also the same as well regardless of gender. Where am I going with this? It's simple: communication is key, and believing the one you're close to thinks differently than you is a recipe for tragedy. And I've made that mistake before. And so did she.
I've had quite the tumultuous love life I'd say. All of my relationships have been online/long distance ones, which has made me very patient I guess, since I've had to deal with a lot of timezones. I don't think here is the place to go into the details, but I've experienced a fair deal in my time and it's given me what I'd imagine to be a lesser known vision on love. To me, I don't really feel there is a 'one true' person out there for you. Statistically, it seems very improbable, especially since there's over 7 billion people in this world. How do you know if there's only in right one for you? I think that there is a number of people, a comparatively large number of people that would suit someone for a long term relationship. What I've always found.... I guess the most suitable term is 'restricting' is that most of modern society forces us to only pick one. I spent some time in my life in a polygonal relationship and I have to say that it's really hard to beat the feeling of freedom that gave me, as well as the reassurance that no matter how I feel about someone, it's ok to feel that way. Now I'm in a long term serious relationship, I sometimes find it hard to keep in mind that I'm not like how I was before. That's not to say I'm not happy, quite the opposite. I just think that as a society, it's counter intuitive to cause so much strife in forcing us to only be with one person when there's little reason we can't be with more.
Well but this also is a thing for everyone itself. I could never be with more than one man, because i could never imagine stying together with someone who has more girls than me. It just gives me a feeling i cant handle. So i could never handle this. What i think is also, that well you dont have to find the one and staying with him or her for the rest of your life. If you stay together for some years and break up, at least it were some beatiful years you spend together. And im a person who doenst think after breaking up you will never hear of each other again. The guy with which i was in my last relationship is now still one of my best friends and we go to concerts together or meet with friends. Even him and my boyfriend are friends and i am also a friend of his new girlfriend. Just because you broke up with each other doesnt mean he is now a bad person of whom you never again want to speak.
I think a polygamous relationship and a monogamous relationship depends on the situation, simply put you have to look at the reasons for having either. While in a polygamous relationship you have more freedom, it can also lead to jealousy if one isn't careful or mature enough, and on the covered in a monogamous relationship it has a higher potential for emotional damage.
I'm still young. My outlook is pretty limited. But, to be honest, I don't think I'll ever want to settle down. Also believe that with my youth, I shouldn't be allowed an unexperienced opinion on this subject. However, I'll still say that I believe commitment to one person shouldn't just mean intimacy, nor does it mean that you can go and be the town's harlot/bastard.
@Val - That is true, but I tend to think that's because of the way you were raised. I like to think that I grew up to believe that the most important thing is making someone happy. Some people want to be with one person, some like to be with many. In a relationship, as long as both have trust in each other and don't restrict what the other does, what they do with other people is up to them as long as they don't hurt you.
This feels weird to reply to something like this, but why the hoof not. Get ready for a downpour. I lost my virginity at 12, (KEEP READING >___>) to the woman I loved. Tina Leighton. She helped me realize a lot of things about myself. My sexuality, my kinks, and the like before she passed two years after I met her. We were together the whole time, and I still love her to this day. I am bisexual, though. Love dat pinor. Love dem tits. Y'know, all that jazz. I've had boyfriends and girlfriends after Tina, too. I think she was sort of a guardian angel of sorts, to help me find myself. -w- Pardon if I interrupted a conversation of sorts, I just saw this and was like "Why not."
Yeah i think it is because i was raised this way and therefore i could not do it like you did i have to say. Because i was raised with it, for me it feels strange to do it the other way . I have no problem with other doing it, but well yeah i would be jealous. I could not stand to imagine my boyfriend with another girl because i would get mad. Im really sorry to here that. At least you learned some very important things for your later life didnt you? Wel Bisexuality is ok in my mind. Someone has to be open in such things to make experiences and most things are worth a try.
Being open was the best decision I made in my life, to be honest. I found out so many things about myself! I like women, and (CENSOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR) Bahahaha. Anyways, I'm glad to have known her when I did. She's passed, and I'm still sad about it. But I'm at peace with it.
It's perfectly ok SolarFlame, that's fine here. I haven't lost my 'woman' virginity yet, since the only sexual stuff I've done is with males (and even then, only one person), but I've spent what must be an unhealthy amount of time doing research into sexuality, kinks and such. I'm bi-sexual as well, and if given the oppurtunity, I would like to really feels what it's like to be with a woman. As for the age Solar, as long as you're two consenting people who know what they're doing, the risks about it and use appropriate protection, then I see no problem with the age you did so. Some would even think you're lucky! =P @Val - I see where you're coming from and perfectly understand. I was cheated on once, and that made me feel absolutely awful at the time, but now I feel that it's not as big a deal to me. The real 'cheating' in my opinion is if they stop being with you to be with them. Love is a complicated thing... I'd rather share it than hoard it for myself in one person I feel I (for lack of a better term) have claimed as my own.
She was about 5 years older than me. XD It was funny to rub it in people's faces who made fun of us. And doing it with a woman, in my opinion, is much better than a man. We know what we're doing ;3
Well, i also think the age is just something for you to decide. If you want to and know what going on then why not at an early age? I just turned 15 when i lost my virginity. Well no big deal How do you mean where i come from? Well i just feel like, when you are in a mono relation and the other part cheats... well... would have been better to break up before doing this, even if the cheating part also loved the other person. I can imagine how it feels so be in a free relationship.... i just could never do it myself And i also must say i have respect for people who can do it.
That's exactly what I mean Val, you respect people who can do it and have a decent idea why you think that way. ^^ I know where you're coming from in that regard because I feel the same way somewhat. I respect and admire people who can stick with a single person over long periods of relationships. People who stay together as far as their 75th anniversary just really goes to show that there are people who not only enjoy only being with person but can make it last their entire lives almost... it really gives one hope, you know?
aaah now i understand what you mean. Yeah that kind of gives hope, since relationships are never easy... Man thats a hard subject to discuss, since love and relationships are important but also so difficult from time to time. Also everyone experiences things differently.
Relationships are both a catalyst for great happiness and great sadness as well. In my experience, (Which is limited.) a relationship is something that has to have dedication from both parties. (Or possibly more, depending on if you're polygomous or not.) You have to be careful not to become obsessed with someone you love, or else you'll be subject to blindly following them down a cliff if you have to. The most important thing in a relationship in my eyes is to make sure that once the relationship is established, is that you can think for yourself instead of blindly following what your partner says. Now I don't mean that you shouldn't support the decisions your partner(s) make(s). Of course you should. I would go to the ends of the earth to make sure that someone I loved was safe and happy in any regard. But that doesn't mean I don't have a mind of my own. We all have individual personalities, and sometimes forcing yourself to get past these personalities to accomodate your partner is a good thing. In some cases, it's a very bad thing. You can change who you are as a person for someone you love, but in the end, the choices you make, and the amount of influence your boyfriend/girlfriend has on you is all up to you. Letting them have too little influence on you makes them feel inadequate and makes them feel uncared for. Letting them have too much influence allows them to trample on you and give them too much confidence. You need to have confidence in yourself that your personality will accomodate someone you love. You should never change a part of yourself that you love for the sake of another person. Ever. Unless you were a felon, but that's a different story altogether. Happy relationships form when people know their boundaries, and both of them can accept their differences without being control freaks and trying to make them accomodate them in every single way. We are going to have differences. Some positive, some negative. All we can do is hope that, together, you can get rid of some of the negative. Changing who you are for another person is admirable. Very admirable. But if they want you to change for the sake of controlling you, it's not right.
