Confession Bear

I am an atheist who Desperately wants to believe in god!
I laugh at a majority of OCs, my own included.
I am utterly astounded at the notion that any living soul enjoys my company.
I spend time with people I don't like solely because I know that one day they'll be gone.
I have yet to find an okay Daring Do fanfiction and this annoys me to no end.
I cannot do a single thing right other than baking.
I berate and curse myself so much that other people assume it's meant for them and there's like no right way to apologize for it help
I like alliterations.
Sometimes I type all long-winded and fancy like. Hate it.
I never know what I'm doing.

 

Sometimes I think I am fat, but I am really not.

I pick holes in my face when I am stressed or bored :/

Sometimes I take better care of my dogs, chickens, cows, and pigs better than I do for myself.

 

Wow, well sorry about your family, dudey. Sounds lie you were having a pretty tough time... I'm glad that this site's helped ya, though.




I talk to my little Ponies... My figures just sit there, staring at me, so. I talk to 'em. They never respond though.
However, because of their presence, I find doing private things like getting changed difficult in my own room, so I have to go elsewhere and do it. I can't let their adorable little faces view such things.

Also, part of me really really really hoped that, even though I didn't believe it would, the world'd end. I don't know why.

 

I see two people that aren't *actually* there.

I'm pretty sure it's the manifestation of my two most disliked and pushed-out emotions. Sadness and anger :I

 

>inb4 everyone in this thread gets arrested

Anyway, I have a pretty dark secret:

Spoiler: My darkest secret

I sometimes play 18-rated games, and I'm not 18

 

I should be searching a job, but instead i sit here playing video games, watching ponies and chat with friends.

When i meet a guy i like i always start to think about how it would be if we were in a relationship and think throught how the next 5 years would be.

 

Sometimes when I listen to music, I make music videos in my head of me and my friends playing the instruments to the song.

 

Whenever I watch a movie, I imagine the mane six are watching it with me and reacting to it. I can't stop imagining it.

 

"Don't tell me what to do!", faith says, glaring at T

 

Sometimes, when I listen to my brony music on the train, I imagine the train flying off the tracks into space. I don't know why.

 

I constantly live in some kind of mental haze. It grows stronger when there's lots of stimula in my surroundings. I suppose it's some kind mechanism that keeps my mind from overloading or something. It's only bothersome when I really need/want to be socially active, and I just can't because of the thick sheet fog between me and reality.

Whenever I feel sad/frustrated/lonely, I try to seek refuge in my imagination. Equestria is usually the place to go. I imagine Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia and some Canterlot researchers keep track of my life in order to learn more about humans and Earth. I often talk to them about things I'm struggling with. It's quite therapeutic, really. I've been doing this for over a year now.

I often catch myself having imaginary conversations with my favorite artists.

I really, really, really, really love the world to the point that I sometimes feel like crying like the double rainbow guy.

 

As I stated earlier, I know that feel bro.

 

Which of the feels?

 

When I was a kid, I used to always wish that Gardevoir would take me, and turn me into a Charmander, so I could meet up with Pikachu, go on adventures with her in some Mystery Dungeons, and spend the rest of my days as that cute little Charmander. (Part of the reason I regretted evolving into a Charizard...)
Now, I instead wish I was a pony. A female pony, weirdly enough. I dunno why, but if I were a pony, I'd just... Wanna be a Female.

Edit; That's not to say I'd mind being a Charmander though. It'd still be pretty awesome, being a Charmander.

 

all of them.

 

In many ways, I believe from time to time that I am better then others. How they strive on Sexual jokes that I find annoying after being heard over and over again. I get introduced in your world as we meet, I study you on how you tick, and draw up on what I think of you. I always love being myself all the time and not care what others think, but when you don't enjoy what you see and I'm supposed to lower myself too your level, then we might have a problem.

 

I once lied to my parents by taking the blame for something my brother did.

Not sure if that's a bad thing, but it's a confession at least.

 

When I form an emotional attatchment to someone, I feel as if I'm losing a part of myself sometimes. I feel that I am putting out a vulnerable part of me to someone who can just as well crush any confidence I have as much as s/he could reinforce any I have. Every time I talk to most of the people I care about, I feel empty inside. I don't feel happy, nor do I feel sad when I talk to those who apply. I just feel... alone. Like no matter how many times I say things it will never get across. I've never really been good with words during conversations. Which causes people to hate me because they think I'm stubborn or something like that, when all I'm trying to do is explain what I mean a bit better so other people can at least understand my thought process.

It's a hard road. But I'm living with it a little bit now.