If I had to answer my own thread, the way i'm my worst enemy is that i tend to put myself down, when I want to have the confidence of a stallion. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am happy with myself and love my well being, but I have trouble coming into terms with my personality. I wonder too much, but who doesn't? xD You?
I am my own enemy probably because I don't trust myself sometimes if I start to second guess my self I tend to get it wrong, so I need to trust my gut more really.
You can't really tell, but I have a superiority complex. As a result, I end up making bad impressions with people.
I am not really my own enemy, but something along those lines. I seem only make things worse for everyone around me. I can do anything from making someones depressions worse, to just accidentaly offend someone. I don't really like talking anyway.
Hmm, well, I'm strictly motivated by my own system of ethics, with very little deviation. I don't see it as being a downside most of the time, but sometimes people are uncomfortable around me because I don't necessarily think it's fun to act out for the sake of acting out. My grandparents always said I grew old fast. It's hard to regret one of my own personality traits, especially since I actually like myself, but sure, I guess I can get in the way of my own fun.
I'm easily aggravated by little things. When it has to do with what others are doing, I'm really patient but when it's stuff like a slow computer or equipment at work messing up, I damn near lose it. If you ever wanna see me flip out, just zero out the cycle count on my machine!
Lets say I'm my own enemy in so many ways...I try to say a few but at the same time i will keep it short Firstly I don't have any self esteem...not the tiniest bit...the only reason i get out of bed in the morning is force of habit honestly. I have no real hobbies because severe depression sucks any joy in things like that from me. Secondly I an overactive intelligence so I'm always thinking about something or another when all i really want is peace and quiet...sometimes its so bad that i have to drown out the rest of the world so that ambiance from around me (rain, wind, cars, birds, breathing, talking, computer fans, etc) don't make me have a panic...they aren't nice to have and I do it when everything gets too "loud"...much like someone gets freaked out with stress but its just from noises and thoughts...I handle stress well though I am everything that other people don't like but I hide it...one of the only things I'm good at is hiding...both hide and seek hiding and hiding my emotions so no one fusses over me hiding...I'm polyamourous bisexual with a sexual orientation problem where I don't know what to identify with...I think in abstract ways so people just don't understand the shortcuts I can take to reach the same logical conclusion that they reach after a longer path...I'm often called a liar because I reach the conclusion, seemingly without any logical steps or calculations and then called lucky when they find out I'm right...I have two irl friends who I wouldn't trust as far as I can throw them and did I mention I'm on the low end of average weight for my age and weak as a twig? I'm either a psychiatrists nightmare or dream depending on how much they love their job In my fantasys about people I always imagine something bad happening to me and they come and save my life and stay with me...a normal person would fantasize about being asked on a date, while I fantasize waking up in a hospital bed with someone crying beside me oh right...I was going to try keep it short...sorry
I am my own worst enemy because it is difficult for me to convey my emotions most of the time. Also it is easy for me to start talking without thinking, and I usually end up saying something that I don't mean.
I'm easily agitated and I tend to jump to conclusions. I tend to take things personally and I care too much about what others think. I also beat myself up every time a make even the slightest mistake. I'm extremely unorganized and I procrastinate a lot. I'm slightly obsessive and I tend to act emotionally, rather than rationally. I'm really paranoid, yet I feel as though I'm way too trusting. I sometimes succumb to peer pressure and I'm easily discouraged. I worry too much about things I can't help and I'm easily stressed. I hate being told what to do, even if it's something I need to do. My ego is huge, but easily damaged. Sometimes I'm a real bummer to be around. I want to change how I am, but I can't get into the right mindset to improve myself. I'm in terrible need of professional help, but I don't believe it would do me any good.
Second-guessing myself. Sometimes it leads almost to paralysis when I am making a serious decision. The little voice in the back of my head that says, "you will never be good enough."
I'm a perfectionist and I can get quite frustrated when things don't go the way I had hoped for them to. I also lack the ability to see when something I'm about to say might offend somebody...either that or people are too damn sensitive these days, I really am not sure which one it is.
Laziness and the resulting procrastination are big ones. Even when I have a hard deadline coming up, and know that things'll be a hundred times easier in the end if I just start working on a task as soon as it's presented to me, I just can't bring myself to do it until the very last minute. To my credit, I can usually do the job, but at the cost of it being far more of a headache than it really needs to be. Another one, like others mentioned, is being easily irritated by relatively minor things. If you're ever riding passenger in a car that I'm driving, you'll realize pretty quickly just how colorful my vocabulary can be. Even worse, this irritation is liable to balloon into an all-out rage mode, if someone were foolish enough to press just the right (and by "right", I mean "wrong") button. As chill as I may seem, my personality is actually quite volatile.
Years ago, back in primary school, I was a little annoying prick; well that's what I believe. As to many schools we had our little corners, where we discussed things to ourselves and being with the same student's for your first seven years didn't help much for my Social Life. By the time grade six and seven came around the time for games or ...silly talk... ended as we began to split away from each other. By the time it came for High School most of these so called friends of mine went off to different High Schools because well ...they followed their friends... I basically went to a better High School, though as it would seem, each school picks the cons when they face others when out of school; though some people may not care, like I did. I went though High School actually working; realizing that I had no friends to talk to at school, why not use the one hour of lunch to complete home work and what-not. Though why was I really completing it in the time I could of been scouting for friends, once I get home I would have nothing else to do but complete a few chores, stare at an TV or even try to work out ...how I thought... , to obviously try to show others that I wasn't a skinny stick, for the rest of the afternoon. I tried my best to gain the attention of others, even if it was sitting near by and still head down onto paper. Though as the years passed I began to scout out for work experience, but as the limitations came to me, I decided to take my steps towards a local Community Radio Station. By this time I had already spent about 2 years at this so called radio station, trying to gain the attention of others around me at school, but none of them seemed to care ...as if they would tune to the radio station that played mostly country music... though I tried to gain the younger audience, by playing mainstream music. However, I still have very little friends, the ones I made or kept where either because we sat next to each other in class or we seemed to cross paths, or meet up with others. Throughout the years I had joined Scouts ...mainly because my step-dad wanted me to... though that ended when most of the so called 'Scout Dens' closed because lack or money. After that I joined air-force cadets, even though we got little time to talk to each other, the times when we actually got to talk, I sat silently, again. I later left air-force cadets only a year and a half ago because I didn't really see myself achieving in that field ...I could see myself killing my own squad out of my own stupidity... , if I was to join the real 'Air-Force'. Though as a year passed the only 'things' I really had to go out and socialize was a workshop/bee at the local Theater. All we did was help take down and create sets for new, present or past plays though it was another thing that was forced by parents. I tried to get into Warhammer 40k, because I wanted a hobby, though this hobby caused myself to be locked into my room again, painting for hours on end; and then there was Radio. By this time only some people knew, though most still didn't believe me. ...A teacher asked me in class what type of work/work experience we all did... As you can see I have tried my best to gain the attention of others, trying to get my name into peoples heads. Though they seem to all remember me as a shy person? I tried to be outrageous and this is when Bronies came into my life. I wanted to be know or seen as ...different... though this didn't work. Surprisingly where I come from ...mostly the school's rules... bullying really didn't occur. ...only if was between grades, sometimes if someone was annoying or it was a about a boy or girl... But no one seemed to care if I was a Brony. This is when I became confused, when I really didn't know what to do. I had a year left until I would be out of school, would I really be a no-body when I leave? Actually, slightly no. Some people who knew me back in Scouts, Air-Froce cadets or even school, seemed to make their way to the Same University I go to. Though this didn't just occur at such future schools. My parents decided it was time go out to such night clubs. There, others saw me and to one person, he actually asked my step-dad for me to join them for the rest of the night. Though as long as this so called life story goes I shall conclude it saying that as much as you doubt yourself, as much as you think that you are going to end up no-where or even have no-one to talk to. Sometimes this large world can seem so small. Now I know that some people may be different, having enemies and such, though as I did, I tried to let it all pass, I tried to forgive others, though there wasn't really much to forgive them about. (( Though it seems right now no one can forgive the small things I have done. Yes, it seems that no one here cares about me )) ...blar blar blar, end of story...
