Community Post #128 - Thankfully, God Also Made Vodka

[size=+1]Community Post #128[/size]​

I was going to do this on why Zecora seems steadfastly determined to remain in the Everfree Forest despite it being dangerous, inconvenient and full of horrible monsters. And then a friend showed me this. A song that was released in Space Year 2014. Oh boy...I mean, I resent the idea of being topical as it seems like something of a substitute for being interesting. But, I couldn't think of anything better than this...so...

RaeLynn's 'God Made Girls', released August 7th.

It's not because it's religious that this has so many people irritated with it and that my friend insisted I watch it. After all, I'll listen to anything if it's looking to have a good time. Gospel Choir sounds like they're having the time of their lives! It's hard not to get caught up in that. Plus, religion has been the basis for art for generations. Chapel ceilings, paintings and the glorified fan-fiction Paradise Lost which is a poem that expands on things that the Bible doesn't ever really touch while rambling on for ever and ever. If anything, it could be a positive boon.

No, it's the fact that the song appeared to have been written by a seven-year-old that was the issue. For this reason, I can't help but find it adorable.

I'm serious! Come on! It's so cute! It fails generally as a female empowerment anthem simply because it's ideas are apparently taken from when this woman was a little girl doodling about her dream husband after watching Snow White and the Seven Dwarves for the third time that day. Alternating between Snow White and Cinderella of course to make sure it wasn't boring.

I know because I was doing that too when I was seven. What? The dwarves are awesome and 'Bibbity-Bobbity-Boo' is engraved on my brain forever. What were you doing?!

There's so much to pick apart. Because, it's sentiment is...juvenile at best. Here we go!

"Somebody's gotta wear a pretty skirt,
Somebody's gotta be the one to flirt,
Somebody's gotta wanna hold his hand so God Made Girls"​

Do I mention the monkey wrench that the LGBT community throw into that first verse alone? All right, so it's heavily 'Hetro-Normative', as my friend put it. I suppose in a very 'Some Day My Prince Will Come' sort of way. Hardly ideal but it's kinda small potatoes when you consider that I feel that the greater issue is what's known as 'The Male Gaze'.

Here's a quick and very rough run down on what I mean.

"Yes! We just got educational, up in here! Let's learn, duuuuude!"​

'The Male Gaze' as it pertains to interpretation of media, is a male-biased slant on how something is portrayed, usually concerning women. In fact it's a good example. One of the most notable is when a movie introduces a female character by showing her feet or midriff first, then rising up to her face. Usually so that you can see her entire body on the way up. A lot of films do this, especially to a female character that's considered attractive. Usually, it's to highlight the attractiveness of the subject as it's generally considered how a male would...umm...assess the idiosyncratic features of the ladies' endowments or figure before meeting her own gaze.

In other words, the camera mimics a man 'checking out a fit bird'. It's more complicated than that but I can't be bothered to go into feminist theory any further right now.

Oh blimey, I probably shouldn't have used the 'F' word...No, I'm going to trust you lot on this. Bare with me. This is Everypony, not Youtube and I have a ban hammer. It's like Thor's Hammer, only mine is borrowed from Foxy so it's got Pinkie Pie stickers all over it.

The last thing you'll see is Pinkie telling you to smile.

So, the point is that Miss Lynn seems to be singing about how girls are the counter to most of men's problems and gives them something to strive for. I mean, someone's got to "give him a reason to wash that truck". I mean, it's the girl that's got to "wear a pretty skirt", "let him drive" and "give him a reason to hold that door". Meanwhile, her Prince hasn't come to sweep her off her feet despite the glass slipper being left on his doorstep and the glass coffin she's taken to sleeping in.

Bloody men! They need a girl to kick them into gear and complete them. Gah! Utterly useless! Thank God for girls! Otherwise men would have to do all the crying! And the hand holding!

Think of this as like applying different coloured lenses to see a 'new message' within something. Kinda like how Mr Cage is doing here, except the lenses are social or philosophical stand points (like Feminism, Marxism, Absurdism, Dadaism and so on) and the Deceleration of Independence is the song's lyrics. I hope you haven't lost you...​

Now, as a bisexual male, I can't help but have so many of these lines be answered by "Oi! What about me?! Can't I 'walk downstairs and blow his mind'? And what do you mean by that? I'm guessing you mean walking down in a really pretty dress but what my mind can't help but put there sounds just as fun."

I mean showing him how to dance...What were you thinking of?

Oh yeah, I had a point! And it is that she wants this to be uplifting and romantic by being the piece that completes your ideal man. She wants to show how wonderful it is to be able to prove herself as just what her man needs to function properly. Because without her, he'd be a wreck and they both know it.

Skipping past the dry heaving that sentence caused, let's look back at 'Male Gaze'!

Which, is a lens on the special glasses. So, Nick Cage here flicks over to the 'Man' lens where every woman is either fit or probably has a lovely personality, cars are awesome, the only things it can bring into focus are pretty women or sport and all violent films explode with more gore for no reason.​

And it's here to ruin the song by the interpretational slant that, by God's own design, a girl's purpose is defined by the men in her life. Men appear to be pretty bad at all the emotional stuff like crying or flirting so it's up to the girls for that. Plus, they both can make each other happy by attracting each other. Men have that shiny truck for a reason. It's to ensure he gets a girl to round off his entire persona and personality.

I mean, it's just a lens by which you can use to see the song's lyrics in but it's a lens I can't help but look through with this. And I find it hilariously ineffective because of it. I mean, this is a world were we have female empowerment songs all over the place now, the latest being All About That Bass. Does that do any better at that goal? Yes, but it has it's issues too. At least it's not entirely about how to prop yourself up with a man's perception of you. The song's not very flattering for guys, either.

What about your own strengths and talents? What about your own qualities that make you special? Doesn't your own ambitions and triumphs mean something?

Enter My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

"Guys! Tyro finally made a Community Post with Ponies in it again!"​

And he lands the segue like a pro! The three or four people still reading are floored by it's majesty!

It's quite simple: we have a student, an aspiring athlete, an entertainer, a vet (sort of) and two characters that helm their own businesses. All six define themselves by their talent and ambition to strive for excellence in their chosen field. Applejack wants to make the perfect apples, Rarity is looking for the perfect design, Twilight searches endlessly for knowledge she hasn't acquired yet, Fluttershy never gives in until her animals are cared for properly, Rainbow Dash is always looking for a way into The Wonderbolts and if Pinkie's musical number didn't clue you into her tireless aim to give moral a good kick into high gear, then nothing will.

Each character is defined by what they envision as they're goal and that is defined by they're talents and character. You know, like a person might be rather than the crutch for every single male in the world that RaeLynn seems to think they ought to be.

One of the funniest terms for a typical female character is 'Sexy Lamp'. Would the movie be any different if the role was played by an inanimate object? If so, you have issues...Still, 'Sexy Lamp' is just fun to say! Sexy Lamp!​

Now, sure, it's not perfect. The Mane Six do have a few character archetypes that has been used quite a bit but at least they're more well defined than most other female characters I could mention. And a heck of a lot more interesting.

As for relationships other than their friendship, well...There's not much but they're either more to add a dimension of character, not define them entirely. Rarity's ambition to find a perfect stallion is part of her persona as this pony that desires the very best of everything. So, what she dreams of is some hunk that will sweep her off her feet, almost as a shining cherry on the life of decadence she tries to lead. Of course, it's unlikely to ever happen but it doesn't seem to stop her.

The only other time I can think of is in the IDW Comics when Princess Celestia met King Sombra. A good version from an alternate reality, just after she'd banished Luna to the moon. The pair were romantically charged; Sombra happy to accommodate and Celestia looking for some comfort after making such a heartbreaking decision. It builds on the character and the story that she would fall into that relationship, even thought she shouldn't.

We also got 80's Sci-Fi Celestia! Wait...no. My mistake, it's actually Evil Celestia!​

Character development! Generally, the show is pretty favourable to girls and it's female characters. It's not perfect but it's a damn sight better. Plus, read the comics, they're awesome!

That's inspiring! That someone has depth and character and drive to succeed. Not fall happily into a status quo because it's better than going against the grain. Because otherwise, who else will? All those stupid men will have to settle for crying and flailing around as if on fire because no one took responsibility for them! Oh those poor men!

But this is why your likely to see this bloody thing get circulated all over the ruddy place as it did it's rounds on the think tanks and blogs and such. Mainly because it's so easy to write jokes for. It's so, so easy! Heck! Even I couldn't resist!

This is my plea: if you must read an article on this song, please make this the only one you read. PLEASE! Don't give the media the clicks. Down play this song. I'm not even going to link it to you. Mainly because the damage, if there was any, has been done. I didn't hear of this until recently and it's been floating about for months. Don't give it some resurgence. Let the stupid song fall into the annuals of obscurity because otherwise, they might make more of this garbage!

It's interesting from a 'Oh blimey, what were they thinking', mindset but it's the mind set that makes this 'harmless' to me. It wants to be a positive message and it probably is from the point of view of it's writer. To them, having a guy might be the best darn thing but from my view point it seems a little shallow for that to be only defining thing in a person's life. However, it's not anything sexual. It's amusingly chaste for the most part, talking more about the relationship and romance of having a man to hold and love. Sure, there's the idea of being only fit for this purpose as it proclaims that it's why girl's were made, but it doesn't demand that girls ought to prostrate themselves for the gratification of men like a blow-up doll that knows a few dance steps. More as a sort of 'sexy lamp' that's there to look good and do girly things like...umm...Wear skirts and...Umm...Teach dancing?

*wolf whistles*​

No, there are certain wrappers I could mention doing much, much worse...

It's the naïveté that curbs my hatred for this song. It reminds me of another song called 'If I Die Young', which is about the morbid subject of a teenager fantasising about her funeral because it ought to be pretty, plus it might make people listen to all her thoughts and ideas once she was dead. That, again, is just to cutesy-pie that I can't generate the appropriate amount of bile. Both songs are silly. Neither are worth your time except to pick apart and learn from. The minds that created these are likely to be a little weird...

Plus, they both seem to be that special kind of Country Music that gets in your head and never, ever leaves.

[size=+1]- Site News[/size]

Something to drown out these infernal songs! Thank you Dragonbait!

Artist - Song

For 2015/02/07

01 - Spectra - Enlightenment
02 - Spectra - Resistance
03 - Spectra - Confrontation (Interlude)
04 - Spectra - Unity
3SPIRIT - Enchantress
Delta Brony - [MLP FiM x Banjo Kazooie] Battle With Queen Chrysalis
ertrii - Satisfaction
PrinceWhateverer Ft. Dreamchan & Scrambles - Destabilize (Exiarks Firmware Remix)
Silver Note - Detonate
Vaceslav - Plain Not Nice
174UDSI - Winter Wrap Up (174UDSI New Remix)

Legion told me that we was planning to reinvigorate Everpony Roleplay sessions. Which is awesome because I haven't heard from them for a while. I guess he found some spare time and is likely raring to go with some brand new adventures. I hope you still have your character's handy!

For those not in the know, this is a roleplay session similar to Dungeons and Dragons but with a system Eight Star created. It's all done in the Everypony Chat in a special roleplay channel where Legion will conduct the session from. You can make a character and then enter, questing and fighting monsters with your chosen party.

It should be this Saturday (time is a little flexible, between 12am and 8pm, EST). Hope you can make it!

[size=+1]- Recommended Reading[/size]

Assuming you don't want to read all about Media Interpretations.

I'm serious; I can't turn off my 'Twilight-ness', it just gets stronger every time I try.

Hmm...A bit of a slow week if you don't count fan fiction or roleplay. I should start adding that in but it's a lot to get through. I'll leave it up to you.

But there was this good thread here on dealing with the stigma of buying MLP products from a shop. And I can relate; people staring, chattering amongst each other, pointing and making the means to avoid me.

I'm sure your wearing more than your boxers when you go but sometimes you just need a dogtag and some booster packs that desperately everything else is insignificant.

I should get on with some stuff. I've got about thirteen different things to do but I can come up with some more stuff that (I hope) is interesting to read...or watch. Or click on.

WoooOOOOOoooo! Ominous!

Anyway, I think that wraps things up for this week. Apologies if I missed something. Still, if your desperate for some country to listen to, because its nothing to be ashamed off, you could try something that wants to lampoon things rather than keep them going, just like the other song my friend suggested I listen to.

Or, your could try this if all this country isn't your thing. I'm gonna go...teach some dance moves to someone special.

 

Clap allong if you feel like a room with out a roof!

Yeah, I can see that. Singing a good song in a group is tones of fun. I've done it in schools and for stage shows.

 

No, you seem to be one of the good ones, RD.

 

I know, right? It's so text-book. All these Beep-Boop Acoustic Guitar drowning out the other instruments with this polished, grit-less voice plodding through the lyrics.

It's just that picking apart lyrics is more fun to write about and hopefully, something I can make more jokes out of.

 

I thought I could write something interesting about it. But I agree, which is why I find it adorable. I was on the fence about going ahead with this because it is that ineffectual at being offensive.

But then I could get a few jokes, I could talk about the male gaze and tie it into MLP. I even say that it's probably the only reason why this post happened. Now, I don't think the song is good and it probably shouldn't be listened to by anyone. Primarily because it's crap.

But it's such a fun target. Getting rallied up is amusingly productive. I said a little about this in the article; it's part of the reason why everyone else has, probably.

But I could totally whinge and complain about almost all Florida-Georgia Line songs all damn day for roughly the same reasons.

So in short, I am a Hack-Fraud Click-***** but at least I'm honest about it.

I can't say *****? OK...umm...A provider of intimate relations that rhymes with 'More'.

 

Yaaaaaay! I pretty much flicked through what I remember from my English Literature studies with a few Nick Cage jokes. I'm glad you liked it. Maybe I'll do it some more sometime.

 

Thanks! Maybe I should try a Post like this again. Maaaayyybe something more legit than picking on some country song.

 

Thanks! Maybe I should try a Post like this again. Maaaayyybe something more legit than picking on some country song.