Some things are very hard for me to explain, I'm going to explain it the best I can. I do have meds for manic depression, I just don't take them because they make me violent. I want to know how I can make my Manic and Depressed phases a bit calmer. I want to find out how I can stop anxiety attacks as well. One of the things that caused me to have an anxiety attack was when, I was talking to a close friend of mine about what my dad did to me, and a kid was eavesdropping on me and my friend and started praising my dad and saying that I deserve it because I'm gay. I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack because he was threatening me as well. I ran off crying and got out of the class that we were in together because I never wanted to see him again. One thing that caused me to have a manic phase was a few weeks ago. My cousin's boyfriend started threatening to beat me with a belt because a cuss word slipped out by accident, and it wasn't very bad, I said, "hell". And his son was threatening me as well. He was holding my cousin's baby while screaming at me, and telling me to kill myself (Which really upset me). At that moment, I felt like I was having an anxiety attack too. It felt horrible because It reminded me of dad. I was screaming at the top of my lungs and telling them to crawl back into the hell hole they came from and to go die. I ran home and no one called the cops and everyone thinks I'm insane because of the things I was screaming at them. My anxiety was caused because I was abused, bullied by people that I thought were my best friends, and how I've been harassed because of who I am. My psychiatrist told me I show all the signs of Manic Depression but they wont fully diagnose me because they don't want to "label" me but, they wanted to treat it. But that medicine doesn't work, it just makes me worse.
Have you talked with your psychiatrist about different medications that may not have such side-effects? I don't know how well it works for Manic Depression, but I found Zoloft/Sertraline to be highly effective at stopping anxiety (I dealt with major depressive disorder and anxiety years ago, and I made a complete recovery; I am no longer on the drug).
Before you let anyone put you on any kind of medication, I highly recommend speaking to a therapist or counselor. Someone who will make an effort to help you work through your problems, rather than throwing expensive and potentially dangerous medications at them. While I don't think much of psychiatry as a whole, I can tell you from personal experience that a good therapist can be a godsend.
I do have a therapist, she did send me to someone that prescribed medicine and he kinda put me down because I was gay. Me and my mom have the exact same anxiety medication and it's the same dosage. It works pretty well except for that one situation with my cousin's boyfriend.
Find a different therapist. Like, immediately. The job of a therapist is to help you, not to judge you, so that guy is clearly unfit to do the job.
