This just popped into my head and I want to know what you think. 'A non-binary pronoun is handy when you don't know the full identity of a person online.' The debate about gender identity and such is tangential here but I'm (hopefully) talking about accuracy of language. I've talked about non-binary pronouns before in a now dodgy Community Post I really want to update but this hit me as something more real world mundane than the lofty ideas of people distancing themselves from gender roles. You're on a forum and you're talking to someone. However, you don't know or can't remember their gender. Usual response is to assume everyone's male unless otherwise stated. Y'know, as per the same joke that states that females are males too and that children are the FBI. We're on a forum that let's you hide your gender from others so if can't always be a case of just following the fallible choice we hand our users. I know this doesn't apply to everyone but I've had the thought of the use of such language swirl around the brainbox because I like to be accurate with what I say if I can be. I like a long, thick, expansive and expertly used vocabulary that let's me better express my intent, or mask double entendres like the one in this sentence. I also try to be skeptical with these topics as it appears easy to fall into a one side versus the other shouting match. So, I like learning about words like 'Quixotic' but I'm unsure about introducing pronouns like 'Xe' or 'Ze'. In the use case of a forum where someone is a genderless blob with an avatar as a face, non-binary has a use here it doesn't seem to elsewhere as it's Space Year 2017 and there is a likelihood you're talking to a 'not-guy'. I have heard of plenty of instances from girlfriends and friends that are female of that moment of realisation from the others in the group when they find out they've been interacting with a girl. Usually finding out after interactions they'd consider reasonable to do with a male, such as swearing only to get just as much 'effin' and jeffin' right back but not with a voice they'd expect. But when you don't know for sure, I thought for a moment that it's not 'accurate' to just call them 'Male' as a default just because it statistically is male you're talking to. I'm sure it adds to the stigma of being female or anything else jumping into Nerd Culture can come with in some tiny, tiny way. So, I'd advocate for using 'They' to welcome someone that's not giving you any clues you want to bank on being indicative. Why? 1, it's a pronoun that already exists. 2. you know how to use it. 3. it's inherently non-binary. Even I couldn't divorce this from gender identity stuff entirely but I tried to get the thought down as well as I possibly could on more neutral ground. Am I over thinking this? Is it pointless? Do you use non-binary pronouns often? I will admit this is probably a thing only I'd be interested in doing for the pure reasoning of 'accuracy' because use of language seems to give me a lot to chew on. Especially the more engorged, meaty and girthy subjects like this that touch so many places as they plough on. I'd like to see what you think because if some of this gender politics stuff sticks, it's likely more the inherently useful things that benefit us all rather than a special case swinging their dictionaries around proudly. Or failing that, find the dick jokes.
I 100% approve of this. Okay, for real though, I do use NB pronouns a lot, It's just like a courtesy thing to me. At the worst, someone's a little confused at the use of it, at best, I avoid causing anyone unnecessary discomfort.
I find the notion petty that using the wrong pronoun is some sort of grave offence. When addressed with the wrong pronoun in the past, I've found that there is a miraculous solution to the problem: Correcting the person.
I would agree with you as a cisgender person, but if you are a transgender person, it can become quite frustrating to be constantly misgendered, especially if you have told a person your pronouns before and they still don't make an effort to use them. However, it is perfectly acceptable to ask somebody, "What are your pronouns?", even over the internet. That way, you don't have to risk offending anybody.
It costs $0 to ask this. Please do if you don't know them. Believe it or not, us trans people don't go ballistic over incorrect pronoun use unless it's one person continuously doing it and not making an effort to change. If you address me as "he" I'll correct you, but if you continue to do it over a protracted period of time, then we're going to have an issue. Also, I'd just like to make a grammar nitpick: Cisgender and transgender are adjectives, so adding -ed to the end is grammatically incorrect.
Fair enough. This was mainly just an idea that came to me and figured it was worth airing. Because I'm odd like that.
A lot of people call me a he/him online like all the time, for some strange reason. Even though I tell them I'd prefer she/her. But yeah, If I don't know what gender that person is, I just call them they/them or something like that because I don't want to trigger someone by saying the wrong pronoun. I do. I kind of find "dudette" a bit silly, TBH. I just don't like how they add a feminine term to it.
It's different for everyone. I personally call everyone 'dude', but if they ask me to stop, I will definitely respect that.
Just call everyone b*tch so there's no discrimination. Example: Hey b*tch how's it goin? Fine! How about you b*tch? Great! lol for real though that's not a bad idea. Also dick jokes are the one savin grace of the internet.
