-gets on turret- Thinking: Hmm, how do you operate this thing... -pushes button- -turret launches mortar, squad cars explode rather violently and dramatically- Oh. Probably like that. -checks to make sure we aren't headed directly for a brick wall- -is sadly disappointed to see that we are, in fact, headed directly for a brick wall- Shouting: "Shouldn't we try NOT to run into walls?!"
"But I thought I was supposed to be on the turret!" -gets down anyways- "We really shouldn't be going this fast!!!" -closes eyes as we race towards the brick wall, as it does not seem like it will be moving out of our way anytime soon- Thinking: I am not a bad unicorn. What did I do to deserve death like this? Being splattered against a wall is not how I'd hoped to go...
*The car dramatically smashes through the wall,Killing a security guard in the process*Woo!!I knew that indestructible spell would work!!Get out.It raiding time.*Gets out of the car*
Grumbling: "You could have told me there was an indestructible spell..." -gets out of car, kisses the ground multiple times- "Oh, land! Sweet land!" -remembers why we are here- "Oh...right..." -using magic, pulls sharp sword out of previously unnoticed scabbard hanging from my midsection- "For defensive purposes only, of course..." -takes in surroundings-
Well its closed...then only humans here are the guards,even then those are easy to kill. *Heads to food court*Whoa...all the stores...*Crazy laugh,runs into pizza shop*
-stares at you for a few seconds, then turns attention to bookstore- "Hmmmm..." -sees electronics store and several food shops with delicious looking food- "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." -trots over to one of the food shops- "I guess I could use a little snack..." -walks in- -several seconds later runs out screaming- "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHH!!!!!!!!!"
THAT MY PIZZA!!GIVE IT BACK!!!*Chases you*Ahh..buck it..*Goes to a different food shop* Hmm....*See's computer store*Ohh....I need a new processor.*Goes in and gets one* Guard:HEY!!*zapped* Well they know we're here now...get ready for some fun.
-shivering in corner muttering something about meat- -comes out of stupor- "Wait, what?" -is tackled by guard- Guard: "Gotcha, ya horse! Can't have you messin' up the place, now can we?" Me: "I beg your pardon, but though I may eat some of the less... DISGUSTING things in here, without paying, I most certainly will not make a mess!" Guard: -jaw drop- "Eh...Euh..." "Say, Sparky, do these humans know that we can talk?"
Um...No..I didnt even know they could...oh forget it..*Looks around*Hmm..Meat shop?*Goes in* (10 second later) *DEAR LUNA!!!*Runs out*Why would you even..?!You people are....
(addressing guard) "Well, you don't have to stand there staring at me." -gets up, brushes self off- -guard still staring with his mouth hanging open- "Seriously, what is wrong with you? Are humans supposed to be this stupid?" -walks over and bops his forehead a few times with hoof- "Hellooo-ooo..." -no response- "Huh. I wonder how they built all this if their brains can't handle a simple talking unicorn..." -walks away leaving guard unharmed- "Well, if you decide to suddenly get some intelligence, please give me a call." -walks over to you- "I TOLD you not to go in there. Well, actually I ran out screaming, but same thing."
Yeah...Um..im gonna burn it down..... *Trots past guard*Hmm...heheheh*Drops him over railing,5 seconds later a splat is heard* BWAHAHAHA!!!Wow..that is a deep hole!Any way..*Grabs flamethrower from nowhere*BURNY TIME!!!*Sets meat store on fire* Man..these guys are stupid.
-winces at splat- -winces even more at flamethrower- "Er...okay...you do that." -looks around, sees another guard- "Oh, good. Maybe this one is smarter than the last one." -trots over- "Hey, would you happen to know where a bathroom is?" -guard looks- Guard: "What the HECK?! A talking horse? I must be going crazy..." Me: "Excuse me, could I have an answer?" Guard: "Huh? Oh, it's down that hallway and then up to the third floor." Me: "Thank you ever so kindly." -trots away- Guard: -pulls out cell phone- "Hello, 911? I think I have dimentia..."
*Come out of wreckage of meat shop*Well that was fun!Im going back to the food court. *See's another guard*Hey!You! Guard: What?*Looks closely at me*WHAT?! Shut up and tell me...WHY WERE YOU SELLING HORSE MEAT?!*Telekinectically lifts him off the ground* Guard:I-i dont know!Some people like it! *Slams him into wall*You saw NOTHING!!*Dive behind counter* Guard:JERRY!Did you sneak drugs into my coffee?
-comes out of bathroom- "Well, that won't work... I'm hungry." -begins eating nearby delicious apples- (I wonder if anypony besides us will ever join this... Lol)
(Not sure) *Pops head out from behind counter.covered in various food*Other than the horse meat,this stuff is awesome.*Goes back to eating it* Hey!*Throws bacon at you*Try it!Its pork.
*Pops back in, realizes it's been like 4 pages of adventuring without me.* AH! Oh, I was staring at this wall watching paint dry. *Grabs Excalibur, T-51b Power Armor, Jet Pack* TO THE MALL!
-dodges bacon- "Pork? Sorry, I'm a vegetarian." -continues devouring apples- -suddenly, ears perk up- "Say, do you hear that loud noise? Sounds like it's coming from outside of the mall..."
CRASH! *Hits unbroken brick wall* Phew, glad I had that Power armor. *Walks in, sees broken wall and bleeding corpses.* Is it bad that I've seen worse? Oh, hey Legion!
