The Vending Machine!

You get a can of soda. What did you expect?

*takes the hammer and beats the machine mercilessly*

 

*machine laughs like it was being tickled*

insert muffins

 

You get Derpy.

*cuts the machine's power cord*

 

*machines battery kicks in*

*machine cuts Ridley's power cord*

 

I... uh... I don't have one of those.

*inserts a live grenade, thus ending this before it gets out of hand*

 

*machine cries for its stuff*

inserts banana cream pie

 

You get strawberry cream pie

I put in a re-generating doctor

 

you get a pokeball

insert facehoof

 

You get smart ideas

I insert Lyra Heartstrings

 

you get a human.

*runs away from the strange creature after inserting guns*

 

*machine teleports right in front of you*

I insert saber

 

You get Saber as she's put back out.

I put in eggs.

 

you get Scoots
insert Bruce Campbell

 

You get Bruce Willis

I insert a movie

 

you get orange juice

insert cake

 

You get pie

I insert time

 

you get curry

insert curry

 

you get quiche!

I insert myself

 

you get me!

insert lemons

 

you get kumquats!

I insert Sexiness