This or That?

Soda Monster.

Face or palm?

 

Face. Adding "with my face" to the back end of any phrase makes it instantly funny.

Old pedophilic hermit who lives by himself in the desert or Secret Jedi Master?

 

Secret Jedi Master.

Doritos chips or Jay's chips

 

Doritos chips because I can eat them with my face.

A whole new world or event horizon of a black hole?

 

Event Horizon; it sounds much more impressive.

One sock or no socks at all?

 

no socks, stockings. <_< >_> >_< ^^; Nevermind.

Redskins or some other politically correct name for the Washington team.

 

Other un-PC name, which I shall not utter here.

Cacti or Aloe Vera?

 

Aloe Vera... or I could just take Vera. She is a cool furry. lol I'm a horrible person sometimes...

Wumbo or Yumbo?

 

[video=youtube;_lMu8V5Xa90]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lMu8V5Xa90[/video]

Bombs or lasers?

Sent from my pet rock using a Toyota

 

bomb-induced lasers. It's what powers the Irish disco.

Copenhagen Interpretation or Many Worlds Hypothesis?

 

Copenhagen Interpretation, 'cause Heisenberg.

Borderlands or Fallout?

 

Fallout? Never played either game.

Death, or Mostly Dead.

 

Mostly dead, so you can do elaborate deathbed speeches.

Lake or river?

 

A lake for me. A lot of water for less salt water~

Salt or Spicy Taco Sauce?

 

Spicy Taco Sauce, 'cause I'm actually a slug.

Balcony or porch?

 

Balcony because throwing someone off a balcony is inherently more dramatic. I don't know what Shakespeare was thinking not throwing someone off that perfectly good balcony.

zombies or unicorns?

 

Zombicorns; Twi's next logical step.

Wheat or chaff?

 

Chaff! It's not as popular, I know, but it has less calories and its rich in fiber.

Unseemly chafing or an Odor of unknown origin?

 

Odour of unknown origin; I could blame it on some kind of Lovecraftian presence.

Spanner or screwdriver?

 

Spanner, so no one will understand me when I ask for one in California

Honey Lemon or Gogo Tomago?