Young engagement

I have a rather strong and comprehensive opinion on this that covers many different aspects of the question you ask. However, it's too much for me to feel like writing out everything so I'll make it shorter and more general.

Although before I do, I wonder if this is merely a hypothetical or are you asking for a reason?


*ahem* The answer to that question depends on many different factors, a lot of it has to do with the region and culture you grew up in. In some cultures it may be typical to get married at like age 12. I'm assuming you mean first world cultures however, where finances take a larger amount of consideration. It also depends on your region. In the Northeast U.S., getting married young is greatly discouraged and even frowned upon, and being financially secure is a big consideration before thinking about marriage. However, when I was out in Ohio, it was quite common to get married and start a family young, and being financially secure wasn't as much of a concern. Where I'm from (Northeast U.S.) getting married before you're 30 is a bit premature, getting married before you're 25 is at least somewhat irresponsible, and getting married at 20 or younger is ludicrous. On the other side of the coin, where I was living in Ohio it was very common to see 16 year old girls proudly showing off their baby bumps and engagement bands. Engagement bands being slightly less common.


Anyway, that aside, in my personal opinion, marriage and starting a family is a huge commitment that I believe many people nowadays take far too lightly and jump into without fully realizing what that commitment means. It's easy to say you know what forever means, it is entirely another to live it day in and day out. I think that before even considering such a move, you should 1) be financially stable: meaning that you have your own place, your own car, a good paying job, are not in a ridiculous amount of debt and are a fully independent and autonomous adult and 2) are old enough and mature enough to approach such a commitment with a level head and sound judgement, not to mention the ability to fully understand just what you are getting yourself into.



That's basically the gist of my opinion, which is severely toned down. Let's just say that I'm against getting engaged/married young.

 

I'll keep this short.

Age is rather irrelevant as long as the couple itself is healthy and compatible
However, I don't think either person would consider the idea seriously until at least 17 years of age
And even then it might raise a few suspicions, eyebrows, and worries among themselves and others.

There are about a million other factors, so this is assuming financial issues are negligible.

 

So...about what age are we talkin' here?

Normally I wouldn't ask, but it seems rather relevant to the topic at hand.

 

I see nothing really wrong with engagement at a young age, marriage is a whole other story but if you guys are waiting a few years
that's not a big issue at this stage of course make sure you are 100% sure you guys are ready, I hate to be "this guy" but a lot can
happen in a week let alone a few years. still though if you guys are ready best of luck, there is no legal engagement age here too
Just marriage

 

Nobody is going to bash you here. I'm assuming by bashing you mean a lot of people saying, "you're too young." When people ask questions like this often they are looking for people to agree with them as a form of encouragement, because they are conflicted and they want to do something even if they realize that it may not be the best idea.

You will disagree I'm sure, but that's generally the case.


My honest opinion? Highschool age is far too young. At that age people generally change their minds about the same thing a hundred times in the span of a year, and relationships are typically short lived. You have a lot of time ahead of you, and as my grandaddy always used to say, "you have to live for yourself before you can live for someone else."


I respect the fact that you're considering being engaged for several years before considering marriage, that's being at least somewhat responsible. But why engagement? Typically couples would date for several years, then get engaged a year before they decide to marry. Have you even been dating that long?


Rhetorical question btw, you don't have to answer that.

My advice, keep dating and play it by ear. Maybe after you've got yourself situated, independent and stable then consider moving in together, and if that works out (and you're still together by then), then I would consider an engagement to be a much more reasonable proposal, and so would your friends and family.


Honestly whatever you decide to do is up to you, just so long as you realize the implications of the decision and give it the proper amount of consideration. I would also advise that you discuss it with your close friends and family too, they know you and your situation far better than we do.

 

Well... i will not tell you how you should do it. I will now just tell you how it looks for me.

I am now 20 and already had a relationship of 3 Years, that well.... ended. So for me i would say i would at least date for 5+ years, before considering marriage. Also as Frost mentioned, moving together is a huge step a couple takes, that will show if they are able to live together forever (as normally wished with marriage). Since it is a complete difference seeing each other like... the whole day. It doesnt always work, or doesnt work after some time.

For engaging, well, you can do that. I dont know how it is in australia, but when people engage here it is a really serious thing, and most couples marry after a maximum of 2 years after engagement. The important thing is the marriage, since this is really a bound that normally is ment for live. Sooo... i would date for some years and move together and wait if that works also for some years and after that consider marriage.

 

Only a generation ago many people married in highschool, and there a plenty of those marriages that are still holding strong.
It's only obvious to assume that they were engaged before then.

If you feel that you can support it financially and that you're mature enough to do so, then who is anyone else to say otherwise?

 

I see nothing wrong with getting married at the age of eighteen. In America, that's generally the youngest age at which it can happen. I personally would never get married before the age of around twenty-four, because there's a lot of life to enjoy and being single isn't really so bad. Plus, it would be hard to be married before I get a solid job and that isn't going to happen until I can finish my education. Even then it will take some time for me to get started in my career.

 

It is a wonderful thing. I have been engaged before but had to end it. It doesn't matter how old you are. Only thing that is important is to discuss EVERYTHING with your mate. Absolutely everything, from politics, opinions on world things, similarities, what you want from life, what is acceptable and what is never acceptable in relationship, sex, career, likes and dislikes. Make sure there are no giant differences and don't go along with 'opposites attract' they do,but for a short while only. Make sure you experience this person when he is mad, sad, upset, unemployed, sick, see how he treats you when you are all those, see whether he saves money on you or spends (both can be bad if overdone) see whether he uses something you really dislike (like weed) and don't go from the standpoint you can change him. And you'll be fine.

 

Subjective. engaged before 18 years of age is extremely preposterous and has absolutely no meaning. I see that whole convention of marriage before 30 yrs old extremely stupid and the reason america's divorce rate is over 57%. That really affects a child's development and understanding of love/relationships no matter how much a divorcee wants to deny it. Neurological science and personal experience doesn't lie.
TL;DR don't engage before 18 and don't marry before 30.

 

Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm looking for someone who's right for me, but if I get married at 25 and live to 75, and am married all those years, I will have been married my whole life. I just like to enjoy each aspect of life while it is at my disposal (within reason).

It's good to find someone with whom you really click, but agreeing on politics and the like is not what makes a good marriage. A good marriage is built on compromise and lasting faith to one another. I do agree, however, that two people should try to experience all aspects of each other before marriage. And not trying to change others is good as well.

 

I've arrived a bit late into this discussion, but I'll give my opinion on things.

I think that if a person wants to get engaged at a young age (and they'll be able to support themselves financially), then they should get engaged. Different people want different things in life when it comes to relationships. Some people want to find that one person to spend their life with straight away, others want to have a bit of fun before they settle down, others want to work hard and earn a good amount of money before they start looking for love, etc.

At the end of the day, you're in charge of your life. If you're ready to get engaged and spend your life with one person only, go ahead. Obviously, with a decision as big as this, you need to weigh up all the advantages and disadvantages. For example, if you are both quite young, it's hard for either of you to get a well-paying job at the moment. But if you have friends or relatives that can help you out in these first few years then you should be able to survive financially. You also need to make sure that you're both willing to get engaged and you're serious about this relationship. If you're going to break up after a couple of fights, then it's not worth getting engaged.

Just throwing my opinion out there, in case you're interested. Sorry I'm not much help, I usually don't think about stuff like this.

EDIT: No idea how helpful this link will be, but you may want to give it a quick read: http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/relationships/12-signs-youre-ready-to-get-engaged/

 

Well I am 22 almost 23 and I am engaged. My Fiance is 21 almost 22. We are financially stable....although not great we make our apartment payments and other payments like student loans and all that. We are a mature couple and together we are strong. I think maturity is the biggest factor. Not to mention we have been together for 4 years. Everyone is different. So really it just depends on the couple.

 

Engaged before 18 = Lolgoodbyeparent'smoney

 

The only thing that matters, when you're engaged, is how you plan to live together with him/her. Sometimes, love isn't enough.