Pitiful

Published by AxiomaticGeek in the blog AxiomaticGeek's blog. Views: 436

is it bad that i feel like no one cares about my birthday? My friends don't really seem to care or even remember...my mom hardly remembered..my dad hasn't even mentioned it...brother and sister couldn't give two ****s...i feel so selfish feeling sad and upset about this. But i feel so unwanted and unattended to...everyones birthday means something except mine :/ my brother and sister got several hundred bucks last year for their birthday WEEKS in advance. My relatives haven't even bothered to send me a "How-do-ya-do". ;_; its just depressing that no one actually gives a flying fiddlestick. Being 16 and turning 17, a world of responsibilities about to smash into me like a 30 foot wave...one year of care-free childhood left. One year left of sitting at my computer playing world of warcraft all day, drinking soda in my P.J.s laughing with friends on skype...such a helpless feeling...and in this feeling...I am alone...cause it feels like no one cares i was brought into this world. I'm adopted, i have never felt normal...never felt like i could fit in..have always been hurt by everyone. -sigh-
Feb 5, 2013
  • joey_h3
    joey_h3 Feb 5, 2013
    I know exactly how you feel in your passage. :(
  • AxiomaticGeek
    AxiomaticGeek Feb 5, 2013
    Thanks :/
    just feel a bit selfish feeling this way...or is this supposed to be how birthdays are for people growing up...but i don't want it not to be a big deal...i always make a big deal out of everyones birthday..cause it IS a big deal...celebrating your birth. What's more important than that? Celebrating the fact that you are ALIVE today.
  • TaKeTsukiina
    TaKeTsukiina Feb 5, 2013
    Didn't actually know, that it's your birthday! Why didn't you tell me?! I would wish you HAPPY BIRTHDAY and JUST THE BEST. :)
  • AxiomaticGeek
    AxiomaticGeek Feb 5, 2013
    well it's on February 8th :p but thank you for the early wishes ^-^
  • Dark Samus
    Dark Samus Feb 5, 2013
    You know, it's really of no surprise to me that you're this upset about thinking about rejection. No surprise whatsoever. You may or may not recall the separation of your real parents and even if you can't because you were too young, deep down inside you still remember how it felt. Every time the idea of being rejection sinks into your mind, you pretty much feel exactly what you felt when it first dawned on you. This is called implicit memory.

    Please don't be afraid to talk about your insecurities but take great care who you choose to open up to.

    February 8th, huh? Here's hoping you'll be remembered by everyone when it matters most.
  • Legion
    Legion Feb 6, 2013
    Maybe they're planning a SURPRISE party! :D


    Maybe not, but still. It's possible!

    And I will try to remember your birthday! Putting it on my calendar now. ^^
  • AxiomaticGeek
    AxiomaticGeek Feb 7, 2013
    Thanks, SunBurn. I was too young to remember my adoption but of course i have never truly felt like i belonged in this house. I just wish i wasn't such a big baby. But my anxiety and stress make it almost impossible for me to cope with anything i feel.

    Well thanks Legion ^-^
  • Pain
    Pain Feb 7, 2013
    I'm sorry to hear this...I'm not as old as you, but I'm also adopted, and I love my family. They saved me from being crammed into a financially deprived family with four brothers and two sisters. Of course, my parents told me I was adopted when I was three, so I've known for a while. And wanting people to notice you isn't selfish. Just don't overdo it and grow a hundred feet and destroy everything.(get the reference?)
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