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As I lie here in my hospital bed, I realize I have no reason to be here at all.. I'm not an interesting person nor do I have anything of value to offer this community. Therefore, I am worthless.. I joined here out of loneliness as my friends won't speak to me now that they know I will most likely die. I was hoping I could make friends, but I guess I was actually being selfish and hoping you all could fill the emptiness. That was wrong of me, and I apologize.. But I still must ask one last question as it's very important to me. I hope you don't mind... How do you comfort someone who is going to die soon? A dear friend of mine who I met in the hospital about a year ago is going to die very soon... She was and still is the only one I can speak openly to about just about everything (Life, death, books, music, friends, morality,emotions, etc.). I have been speaking to her the same way I have been for the last year, yet now she seems to get no joy from our conversations. She rarely smiles and listens to some of the most depressing songs I have ever heard. I always see her either dazing into the distance or crying, and it frightens me... I don't know how to comfort her. I've been wondering if I should do what my friends did to me and stay away from her. My "friends" ignore me or act as if I've already died and no longer here.. I can't ask them for advice or anything.. and honestly, I miss them. That's why I don't want to just ignore her, but I don't want to hurt her either. Please, give me some advice.. I know I don't deserve it, but I really don't know what to do... I really hope I die soon, before I cause anymore problems..
Alrighty, well then.. As the title says, I have a bit of a conundrum. Before I try stating my question, I accept any and all criticism aimed towards me. That, however, doesn't mean I wish for anyone else to be criticized. I will remove this if I deem it necessary. The question is: Do you believe we were all born with a given purpose/position? The reason why I ask this is that I've always believed myself to be inadequate and beneath everyone else. I think of it as "my assigned place", and that, for some reason, comforts me. I can give away everything I can offer if it will benefit those around me. I have done so for years, and yet now I've reached a strange point. You see, my usefulness for the most part has run out. I no longer have anything of value, and now all I can do is help tutor others in certain subjects. The other issue is that I could die at almost any given time, whether it be tomorrow or 10-20 years. It sort of depends on how things go. The only thing that brings me joy now is reading. This.. actually brings me to another difficult question. Once your usefulness has gone and you're more of a burden, is it alright to.. disappear? With my medication and all the medical treatments I undergo, I'm quickly moving my family into debt. And as the days pass by, I'm certainly not feeling any better. Should my family have to pay for a defect I somehow developed? And if it's just going to keep getting worse, should I just do us all a favor and quit taking the medication/treatments and see what happens? It's all so strange.. Anyways, I suppose there isn't really an exact answer to the questions, but I wouldn't mind hearing your opinions on them. I can't say I will necessarily base my decision on one opinion, but I would greatly appreciate any answers/criticism! Thanks in advance!
