Typhon's blog

With every high comes a low. And unfortunately the low is hitting me hard and fast. Bleh. I seriously hate how messed up my mind is feeling. I'm hating how I'm just...possibly...imagining I don't belong, I don't fit in and slipping into a silent state of non-interaction because...well...that's what I do.

I come along. Find a place I like. Foolishly feel I don't belong. Slip into silence and leave, feeling I never belonged in the first place. I'm terrible at being proactive...last time I was properly pro-active with something...well, yeah. It went wrong. It resulted in part of the problem in my head. Eight years later.

Part of it is lack of RP. Roleplayer by nature, I tend to treat the idea of RP as an escape, as an avenue to just...exist without stress and worry. But when there is none...well...I feel odd.

Sorry guys.

My head and heart are in strange places at the moment.

Well, first time for everything, yes?

First, to state that this place is rather comfortable. At first I was at that awkward mental state where I was not too certain if I wanted to approach, feeling I just wouldn't fit - I'll explain in more detail below. But thankfully, that unease is fading, and as such I think I will stick around much more.

First, some basic information about myself - I'm a child of the 80s, a wargamer, painter, gamer and general all around nerd. Also, a very avid roleplayer by my own nature. As such the potential for roleplay here is one of the big draws that pulled me in.

But I also have been having ongoing issues for a number of years with depression. The end result is there are times where I am crabby, snappy and seemingly downright hostile. There will be times where I will say things and truth be told, I would appreciate people not taking them too much to heart. I've already lost far too much with my temperment and wit and would rather not lose any more friends. So if I come across snappy, moody, hostile or act a general git...do not take it personal. I am getting counselling. I am getting help. Just I need to find my places to escape where I can live life and not hate it.

Anyhow, where was I?

Oh yes, roleplaying. Figure I may as well put myself up for others if you wish - Typhon is eccentric, old and ultimately the sort of character whose nature is abhorrent (a living hive of plague and pestilence) yet has a personality that charms and has its own quirks. I can easily roleplay with the protagonists or antagonists...the character isn't so much 'evil' as the truest form of neutral. See the decay more as a natural process rather than a muahahahaha, now I bring the pox and you are on the right mind.

I also appreciate chunter. Banter, general diaolgue. Oddly enough, I also paint miniatures and the like. Would be more than willing to show to some on request. Not a problem.

Anyhow, enough introductory banter. Just me saying I love you guys...now to hunt the RP I seek.