Improved wishes

Granted, they are also the chief form of currency, corporal punishment, and a method of execution.

I wish I could find extraterrestrial Shakespeare.

 

Granted; he makes just as many dirty jokes as regular Shakespeare.

I wish for a cooking show featuring the bridge crew of the TNG era Enterprise.

 

Granted. Data follows the recipe with perfect precision, and makes a less-than-perfect meal. As a B-plot, Riker seduces some amazon women, Troi is not even jealous. Back to the A-plot: Picard holds a meeting to debate how to make the meal and whether offering the meal to the amazon women will violate the prime directive. Worf suggests adding more eggs to the batter and is immediately shut down by everyone else. Geordie replicates some pom-poms and offers vague optimism. And Dr. Crusher does a two-woman play with Guinan in ten-forward. In the end Wesley saves the day by diverting power from the warp core and reversing polarity on the oven mitts, the amazon women are abandoned on a nearby asteroid and are not allowed even a taste of desert. And Data learns a valuable lesson about human cooking involving a certain degree of imprecision and ju-no-se-qua.

I wish Babylon 5 was available streaming on Netflix.

 

Granted.You also get an offline copy of it.

I wish for a Gallardo.

 

Granted: Now you can beat up anyone and girls will be all over you~

I wish, I wish I was a fish.

 

Granted; you're a big fish, so you don't get eaten.

I wish Crocodiles could fly.

 

Granted, they evolve with super intelligence and become the apex predator of earth.

I wish I was a girl

 

Granted: You are a cute girl now~

I wish for a huge supply of soda.

 

Granted. The CO2 produced by fossil fuels is used to carbonate you delicious beverage. The bottles cover 2/3 of the earth's surface. Penguins rejoice. Penguin-eating seals rejoice. Seal-clubbing humans rejoice. Human-hunting Predator aliens rejoice. Predator-eating cosmic space goats rejoice. Cosmic space goat-milking Ted Neugents rejoice.

I wish I had a phased-plasma rifle in the 30 megawatt range.

 

(^ I only just saw this, and it made my day XD)

Granted; the Plasma rifle also comes with a very comfy sling.

I wish we could find a way to produce power by laughing at hipsters.

 

Granted, it produces more power then scream energy.

I wish to be a master battlemage!

 

Granted; you also get a sweet cloak!

I wish I was a steam shovel!

 

granted. You shovel steam and also methane.

I wish was a little bit taller

 

Granted; you achieve this without wearing platforms.

I wish for an unlimited supply of Hawaiian shirts.

 

Granted they all match your new sea plane.

I wish for Mozart to have a come-back tour with all new compositions based on current pop music trends.

 

Granted, he tours with Bach.

I wish I had a pet chicken.

Sent from my pet rock using a Toyota

 

Granted; it's a Fable-spec chicken, with re-enforced feathers.

I wish for a skeleton key.

 

Granted: Now all doors in the universe are open to you. No lock is not unlockable.

I wish to have a Jill Sandwich. (Cookie to the person who gets the gag I'm referencing)

 

Granted, Barry makes everybody a Jill Sandwich.

I wish that I was in a relationship with someone on this site