Hello, everypony. I'm strongly debating on whether to go to a psychologist or therapist of some kind sometime this summer. I've been consoled (I don't know if that's the right word) by psychologists before and I didn't have a problem opening up when I had to but a whole schedule of therapy is something I've never done and I hold my reservations. I don't think psychology is a hoax or anything I just hold the same predicates that hamper me from societal speech in regards to psychological practice. I don't feel worthy of therapy, really, and I don't know if it would be a good thing for me. The reason I'm considering it stronger than ever before is because I feel I've hit a real low. If you've read any of my posts you know I consider myself to have depression, although it hasn't been diagnosed professionally, and now I feel I'm getting even crazier. When I first watched this show in November of last year I almost immediately started feeling better. School wasn't feeling too great and I wasn't in too great of a mood most of the time, but the show, like it has helped many others, helped me greatly. I felt I was fully getting over my depression. But, this semester my luck has not been so positive. Yes, MLP does make me feel better and my mood is more often neutral than before but now I feel myself getting depressed easier because of recent events. I've never been in a relationship before and recently my friend lost his virginity and my other friend had a baby. And the worst part is I didn't even know she was pregnant. I've been at college but that's a big event to not have notice of from a friend. I was shocked and it affected me deeply for some reason. I'm not 100% sure why but it just made me feel different. And while I was happy for my friend, it made me feel even more distant from others. Before I saw people in relationships differently and today is no exception and having two close friends in strong relationships is making me feel even worse. Now this isn't to say I'm only down because of this, the problem is more deeply psychological, I assure you. I've always held this hatred of relationships because I feel more than ever that I'll never enter into one myself. I've had the trouble of being rejected before, many times, and almost everyone I asked out went out with a friend of mine. Now this could be considered coincidence but it happened so often it made me feel cursed. The thing that holds me back is I feel so far behind others with experience that I'm really blocked as to what I even want to do in this region. The trouble with relationships is a major cause of my depression. The other is I just feel helpless in this world. I feel very lost and I have no idea what I want to do with my life or how I'll be able to live in the real world. The other mental problem that's arisen is I'm practically developing an anger problem and a loopy mind, as I call it. Usually before this year, I would just get depressed about everything and sulk. Now, I've started getting angry about almost everything. Everything that would make me somewhat above neutral before is now an annoyance, and anything that's even remotely aggravating sends me into a rage. Not a blinding rage and not so much that I hurt something or someone. But, I have so much extra mental pressure with this anger and depression. And it feels like it's taking a toll on my mind. I'm opening up my feelings to everyone I know well and trying hard to work on getting better but I just don't know what to do. So after that very very long essay of just some of what's wrong with me, I ask you, do you think I should see a psychologist? I would like to hear what people say about the practice and especially those who have gone to therapy of some kind. I feel I'm in a bind and would like to get your collective ideas. Let me know and I'll be checking back often.
Don't worry; it's not as bad as it sounds. However, therapy-or at least, for me- had a few... side effects. The biggest being attachment. I was there for.. Christ, how long was it? Anyway, after I was determined 'fixed', I taken home and never returned. It was fine for a week or so, but then the feelings I had before returned. I realized it was the therapy that was keeping me from having the thoughts and feelings, but not changing me in any way. So keep in mind that it has to end sometime. And don't worry about relationships. I decided a few years back that love takes too long and is too expensive, so I decided against relationships. I have no need for them. While the people around me are talking of their girls, I am talking of music, or personal conflict, or morality. It makes more sense to me not to worry about such petty things.
No. I don't think you need therapy. I went through the EXACT same phase a few years ago. I've never been in a relationship, nor do I have many friends. Whenever I was bothered by something or someone I would get strange and violent thoughts. I hated myself and everyone around me. As a result I avoided social interactions and avoided people and communication in general. It made me feel even worse and that I'd never fit in with anyone or anything. Eventually, I just grew out of it. I'm skipping alot of details, as they aren't that important, but I was like that for a large part of my life. I'm not sure what it was, but I just stopped beating myself up and I moved on. This is why I honestly think you do not need therapy. You need to learn to not be so hard on yourself and to not reflect yourself upon those around you. Create your own self image and try to see positives in life. You posted this at a rather awkward time as it's 1 in the morning where I am. If I weren't tired, I'd be typing more. I'm sorry if my advice isn't very helpful, but I understand completely how you feel. Feel free to pm me or contact me however if you'd like someone to talk to.
These are all good responses, from what i can tell. and i must agree with them. at points in my life where it seems as though things are always getting worse, i usually just get really neutral about things, and just let it pass. eventually, it won't bother you as much. and as for relationships, yeah i'm about in the same boat. so, for now, i'm disregarding them. sure, they look great, and they are great when they work. but so many fail, that to sit and worry about them is indeed a waste of time. eventually some one will come by that actually appreciates you for you, and it will have been worth avoiding all the point-less relation****s that could have happened sooner. so, chin up, we're always here.
Thanks everypony for the responses. Well, today I am feeling a bit better. It was late last night, the only time I have free really, and I couldn't type as efficiently as I wanted to either. I woke up feeling a bit better and I took a nice reflective walk and the advice of looking at things differently is what I really need to cement in my life. It's almost like I forgot about what I did to feel better and your responses have helped. I need to look at the bright side, as you may say, and stop focusing on the bad. The change between happy and sad is as easy as perspective and realizing that life is precious. I also tried to feel like I'm a good person, which I am, and that should be good enough for myself. It's helping right now and I just need to continue being positive. I don't need to smile all the time, especially because I don't like that, but good feelings are more then a smile or something. Thanks and I would like to continue to hear what people have to say.
Sometimes, the best therapy can be talking to someone close you you. I have a friend who I tell everything, and it really helps. I'm glad you're feeling better now. Life sure has its ups and downs, but never forget how many possibilities there are in the world. The best ways to experience those posssibilities is, I think, trying new things. It's true that being in a relationship can give people direction, as well as happiness, but the opposite can be true as well. People will tell you all sorts of things about relationships: that they're the greatest thing in the world, that they're a waste of time, etc. Some people will say that you just need to decide what they mean to you. I disagree; how can you come up with one uniform rule that encompasses every relationship you could ever have with someone. Even a romantic relationship can be different in a thousand ways. What works for me is this; I do things I love, work my way through life, worry about problems as they show up, and drift my way through the relationship scene. Circumstance will bring you your opportunities as long as you keep trying new things. Careful thought regarding your situation is always helpful, and you seem to have found that. There's nothig wrong with taking things slow, and there are people you'll meet in life who appreciate that.
Most of us go through depression at least once in their life. We also have moments when we are lost in the world, but we will find our way. And most people want to be in a relationship; however, you should wait until you are ready before jumping into one. I've seen what happens to those who jump into them, and all it does is cause pain to everyone. Also, it's fine if you don't know what you want to do if the rest of your life. I am going as a History Teacher, but I don't know if that's my true calling. The point is that you will find your calling, that most of us go through depression, and you will find your Soul Mate. Just enjoy your life before it gets complicated.
