^Is mistaken for thinking I'll let them borrow my magnificent beard. < Really loves his beard. v Will admire my beard even though they've never seen the beard.
^-Has a beard that is less epic than mine. <-Has a beard that can beat up Chuck Norris. v-Has an embarassing lack of epic-ness in the beard department.
^Is right < Isn't creepy at all, just being cool and awesome. Also likes making Adventure Time references. V Is dictionary?