SaulLaski's blog

Hey there everyone.

Maybe you remember me. Maybe you don't. Maybe you wouldn't, shouldn't, couldn't, but maybe you might. That's all that matters.
I've got a lot on my mind, and need to write it down. Maybe i'm starting to become an attention *****, in other's opinion, leaving and coming back like this so many times.

I need to get some of theses things out of my mind. So, i'm going to write down what i still remember about me, my life, and what i truly am. Most of you will read this, maybe have a good laugh and copy-paste it to read it later, to laugh again, and won't beleive it. But i'm under a truth oath, so i can't really lie. And i've done it to others around me so much, i'm starting to be sick.
So, hell, i'll just write. I'll start with what i used to be, then what i am. Then, my memories. And, to conclude, my fustrations/how i feel about my life just now. Will you all be my psychologists today/tonight? Might do me a world of good to simply know i've been writing some truth and that it reached some ears (i mean eyes).

(PS my memories aren't in total chronologic order, everyting is still so blurry.)
I've always been able to see things others didn't, and hear some things other thaught were wind, wooden floors cracking or far-away radios playing/crackling. But, when i was 11-12 y.o., i found what it was. Spirits, demons and the usual dead people walking around. Poltergeists and the such, you might add.
I always had a fascination for them, since then. I've studied them. And found how to control it, as well as something i've been called magic since then, but that would be scientifically called electro-cerebral psychism and enhancement.
By using a particular part of the brain, anyone can affect their view, smell, taste, and the like. Some might be able to get access to others... Dimensions, let's call them, even if not scientifically possible. They are in fact other people's electrocerebral pulses and waves, but it's all the same. For, you see, i would've called myself a mage.
I comunicated with them spirits and the like. I learnt things other people couldn't, such as what was happening at the same second to other people. What they really thaught under their masks.
And, most of all, how much of them bullying me were sad about their own lives, and spent their fustration on me. I was becoming a martyr, living only by swearing to himself vengeance, death being my salvation. But i was wrong, oh damn **** i was wrong.
I met that guy. Let's call him steeve. (it ain't his actual name.) He was the first in 4 years to come to me and trying to be my friend. He tried to look tough, but he was a tender, sweet guy inside. We quickly hitted it off, and he told me what he was. Why i kept seeing that white light in his back. They were wings; for he was what he called himself an angel. (Don't you mock him, for i've became one too. Keep reading to know how.)
After a while, we practiced our talents together. We would throw energy (electrocerebral pulses) at each other, block them with said energy, and most of all, practicing melee range combat. Either with weapons or our fists, we'd train hard, then even harder, enhancing ourselves with our newly found energy.
Then, the fall. I started to doubt in myself. To see the world grimmier than it was. Things were going wrong, i don't remember how or why. But it lead me to the one biggest mistake: drugs.
After three years of abusive consomation (docs said i should've been dying of an overdose when i went to an hospital, with such a high level of marijuana in my system, 68 hours after my last consomation), Steeve came back and made sure that i wouldn't touch to such trashy dirt ever again.
It's been 4 yours last week. And even now, i feel sudden urges to take some. Never have i felt back in them.
Anyways. Back on topic.
Drugs had irreversible problems caused to my psyche. Since them, i loose memory pretty easily, especially short-timed memory. There is no medics known that can help me, but that ain't the real problem. I forget who i am.
So, i did the first thing i could: destroy all and every personality left, and mold them into ''masks'', wich i constantly wear. If i woudn't have made them, i wouldn't have my today's problems. Anyways.
After some rehab time, we practised again. And, instead of vengeance and hate, i felt joy and happiness. Everyone who hated me back then ignored me then. They just didn't care, and thought i had took theses drugs constantly because of their bullying.
After that, well, it's a kind of black out. I remember a few events, like me and Steeve hunting and killing stuff with our energy molded into swords/maces. Many times, we saved the weak by doing so; you see, when ''humans'' (we are too) got touched/hurt by demons, or evil in itself, under any of it's forms, they got worst. Like, bad people. They started to hate, to get violent. Killing them demons started not to become a way to vent, but more like a job, a responsability.
We trained others to help us. six, actually. All of them are somehow my friends.
And they honored me a lot. I was the second strongest of them. I'd take shots, blows and conjure good shields for them. A good martyr.
Was that all i could be? Was i that happy to be the tank? It wasn't a video game. It was- and still is real life.
Because of that, Steeve made me vow to protect and serve ''humans''. Then, next morning, i wake up with a weird feeling in my back. Wings, made of the purest light. No one, excpet my seven friends, could see them. (As i write, i feel them flutter. They're still as bright as that day.)
Then, i don't remember really. I know i made myself a tulpae, then separated it from my own conscience, and made her a spirit under Steeve and I's command- (she felt in love with him, and now they're, weird enough, a couple. Been together for a year now.). Michael, the archangel, gave me a part of his flame to help me kill the evil.
I remember doing stuff no one would beleive. Saving people without them knowing. Always getting hurt.
Today, i have weird marks that would prove it, and a slight limping in my right leg.
I learnt alchemy. How philosophy, magic, and the arcane energies, once blended together, could heal us- even humans- was beyond me. Then, i got struck with corruption, started going mad, and someone here helped me. I won't name him, in case he doesn't want it to be known.
I learnt how to master runes and runic symbols. Today, they're almost a popular kind of art, but trust me, to sensitive people, standing in my glyph would heal your wounds, or make you feel ill, depending on wich kind i draw.
Anyways. Last thing i remember happened 4 days ago. I've awoke, knowing little to nothing (all of the memories i wrote came with time), with wings, holsters, and a ring on my finger. Wings and holsters made in energy, though there's a real ring on my finger. It pictures a star, it's made of plain silver, and it doesn't do much. I just can't remove it. And i can't remember ever getting it, buying it or anything. It just popped there.
Anyways. I came back. From where? Dunno. I'm Noxiel. Nox stands for Night, in latin. It does have a sense. My eyes adapt in exactly 1.78 seconds to the darkest of dark, and i see almost as clear as day. Moonlight is so soothing.
And, Steeve has been ranked as an Archangel. Lelahel, he's been called.
We're still saving hundreds of lives. There's also all of that story i haven't wrote, about my old self. I was synthetic. A synthetic soul. Too long to type, so long story short, i used to create a ''copy'' of myself each time i died, under the form of a tulpae, and use it as a ''soul'' in my next life to keep living. (i swear i sometimes remember some of those memories. Like being a salor on a huge wooden ship, praying to ease a storm, or killing people in a weird war with a mace and shield. I can feel the weight of the mace and shield, and the bleeding gashes in the leather armor.)
So, i've been going to the council, wich is an assembly of the Occult, especially angels/seraphins, and i've been told i was ''reborn as a new soul''. Then, i got a job, and i've been trying to live with that. Keeping it secret so i wouldn't be judge. Have i rally done it for such a long time? I just remembered how close i was with people here. Anyways. I couldn't bear it anymore, so here's my story.
Now, for my problems. Job is hard. I'm calling in the USAs, more especially companies, to make surveys.
All day long, i'm being rejected by receptionists and assurance workers.
Then, metro and bus; always so busy. Always the traffic. I get to stand up in moving things i don't control- one of the things that makes me hate this place. You could almost call it a phobia, but instead of fear, it's... Sickness, i guess. That's how i can say it.
Then, after 2 to 3 hours of traffic, i get home.
And then, there's that woman, I'm being told she's my ''mother''. How can someone so harsh, rude, hatefull and... Angry, might be my ''mother''? She just keeps screaming and whining about how she's disappointed in me. About how i'm doing nothing. That the only thing that makes me stay with her is my job, and the money i give her. Then, she yells about how she hates her own life, then insult me in ways... Like, about how i can't clean dishes properly. About unfit is my bed, when i place the covers. Or, about how slow i am when i try to focus to make things right.
I'm 19 years old. I lack money to leave, for she takes a major part of it away, and the remaining said money covers my transport, food, cellphone and anything else i need.
So, i'm about to make a breakdown. I can't keep it going. Even now, i'm writing as i should be sleeping- i'm working in 8 hours, waking up in less than 5.
I'm not asking you anything. Not, ''What should i do?'', or ''Make me feel better''. Neither attention.
But something unknown drives me to write everything, and i feel slightly better already. So, have a good day/night you all, might you beleive me or not, 'my job is done', and i look forward to speak with those who don't think i've been crazy or anything since i'm born.

Bonsoir my friends,
And everyone else too, i guess,

You might have all noticed how i've retired recently. And by recently, i mean the past few months following my last blog post (wich was about politics, peace and human movements if i remember well).
There's a good reason to it- i might not be able to log in anymore. I'm not quitting, but i can't say i'll be able to hold all of the projects i had (MLP-related or not), and the image i once had here as faded so much that i feel like a ghost anyway.
I've changed a lot. Had lots of job. Trying to clean up my messes everywhere. That leads me to the cold truth;
I might not have any place to call home anymore. All of my valuable possessions might be sold to survive for a while. I'm considering slowly walking to the west, then south to meet a few of you guys (Startin' with Snow, of course).
This is nothing like a good-bye; it's a ''I'll be away for a few months. Trying to get a living, then moving, then living and surviving, then moving again. Eventually, i hope i'll be able to meet a few of y'all- those who remember me as their friend or someone they knew.

Now, i'm sure you want to know why. Well, here's the truth- i'm currently fighting my way to survival. Those who know me enough will understand if i say ''It's only war preparations, 'Cause war's coming.'' Winter is at our doors again, and i have to grow stronger- so moving to the south might let me learn a few things. I'll be coming to your respective towns and clean up. I've let things slip too much and i wasn't able to act by the distance- so hopefully i'll be able to kill things that might be a threat to y'all.

Anyways. That is all- PM me in the next few days if you want to know more, or if you want me to pass through your town. Evil must be destroyed before anything happens, and i heard that almost all of the ones in charge in your sector either quitted or died- and i talk about the US in general. I've gave myself the responsability to protect you instead, so i'm coming.
Another thing to talk about- the sacrifices i've made in the past months for my so-called friends (those i meet everyday).
'Not saying they're unloyal or that they've done bad things, but they've... ''slowed'' my ''apprentissage route''. In other words, they savagely beaten up my motivation to keep going- so i'll try and do what i'm good at and hope to get paid as i'm doing it. Make a job out of my services. Isn't it the worst of ideas ever? Yes it is. But it's the only thing i can do and know that is right.
So expect me soon, in the months to come. This summer, i'll try to survive long enough to get to y'all and repair my mistakes, and hopefully put you on the good people list of Santa- or whatever other metaphor you'd like. After all of this, i might even consider moving out in Texas.

So... If you need anything, let me know. Might you all be able to succeed in life, and your projects flourish. Keep being a good fandom-host/forum, we all need such a place once in a while.

Hey there reader. You're probably wondering why me, the almighty horsemen of Roleplay, is making another useless blog post.
That's because i'm bored and just went through a wrestling contest with my worse enemy. I wouldn't be making this post if i would've won, though.
This loss at such an harmless thing, a wrestling, just made me realize how weak i am. And how weak we humans are.
Well, ''we''. I ain't gonna lie there, i ain't no human inside. We all aren't humans inside, for we have something in common: a conscience. Wich leads us everything we need to make a proper society. I might be extrapolating, but WAIT. my line of thought does make sense. Be patient and read, you're the reader. It is your job.
Now, where was i? Ah, yes, proper society. Why are we, humans, living in society? Why are we feeling the need of being in group, being secured, to be able to defend ourselves together? When all we can see, what the society shows, is that we are trying to be the strongest of species living on Terra, or Earth as you scientific and logical folks would call it, by leading our ''society'' in a diplomatic jungle of Chaos?
Well, my answer would be, ''Because our conscience makes us all able to defend ourselves, and we're feeling a link that is shared by all of us who have a conscience.
Introducing, The appartenance link! We all feel the need (or not if you're something that ends with a -path) to be united, together, and to be on the same stage of evolution. We are looking for something else to master in space, since we already conquered the other species here.
We want to win over our own environment. Over everything. It ain't a sense of competion, it ain't the need of being stronger.
It's why we're having our conscience; we want to be the best we can be. Should we destroy everything around, spread violence and blood like a priest throws holy water at a demon (yeah, good figure of speech, i know), we all want to be strong. We all have our reasons.
Today, in this post, i wanted to write all of this down, only to make myself and maybe others realize how weak we are, however how violent and strong compared to other humans we might be. We've got a conscience. We don't deserve the term human to represent us; it would be calling ourselves like we call animals. By our race.
We ain't a race. Neither a creature. Neither a creation, you religious ones. We're united, strong together, but most of all, we're souls.
Souls in a body. Must it be human. Might it be anything else you are; if you are sentient and have a conscience, you ain't human- cause you ain't no animal.
Now, look at what the animals before us did. Look at the ''society'' they built. Look at the state of our global home.
Our planet is dying. Some species have disappeared- ecosystems are destroyed by our beautifull, sterile white gloves. And why?
For Humans before us tried to make this place better by doing anything but what is good.
We destroyed ourselves. We killed. We raped. We did all of that- but together, we might change something. We might be strong. We might beleive in something.

Most of all, and that was the point i wanted to bring in here, we all need to do something now. Remember how spike told himself ''It's future Spike's problem!''?
We are future Spike. And we ate too much ice cream- we killed our world and fought one each other.
This isn't about peace, about humanity, or about survival.
It's about all of those weak, innocent people who dies when humans fight. All of those weak and oppressed who get poorer when humans get richer.
It's for all of us, guys and gals, who want to change something. But there's notheing we can really do- harm's done.
We can't do much. We can't get poorer by spending money in organisms, we can't get a rifle and shoot the violent humans. We ain't humans, i told you!
And speaking to a wall has no effect.

So, i ask all of you, let's work together. Let's spread the word of our own favorite show- Friendship is magic. Let's make humans love and tolerate each other.
We don't need no money. We need food, water, love and a shelter. Would you all be happy if you didn't have to worry about paying your bills? Finding a place to sleep at night? Fighting for your won survival? 'Cause there's people out there (and i won't point any direction) who are living this hell. And we could stop it, should we have a government with such ideals. We could stop it, should we have an impact somewhere.
We would've stopped it years ago. But we are here, in the future of our past. Our present. Let's move now. Let's get stronger. Let's unite under our own flag- a flag white as snow.
We don't need no weapons. Mouths can harm more than bullets. We don't need no politics- if we are respectfull and respect our common sense of judgement, we might not need laws at all! (well, we would need a basic, universal chart of laws. Hey, wait. We already do!)
We would need one thing. Not peace, no money, no political influence.
We would- no, we must have love. And respect. And tolerence.
You, young ones. You might not understand how hard it is to live like i do- always on the run, my only source of money being once in a while a part-time job, the other being internet- but you might understand why we're all fighting our own wars, in a way. And how pathetic is the government sometimes. And how YOU will have to play a role after us.
Weren't we all good, when we used to live around a castle, lead by a family of dirigeants, and when war was only a game of territory, not money?
Well. Why aren't we backing up a bit? Was the technology the source of evil who corrupted the world, making it destroy itself? Making humans fight each other?
Figure it out. I think i'm done for today. Perhaps one day, people like me would be right, and humans will be wrong. But for now, i must go- try to find a place to sleep and stuff to eat, y'know. And maybe smile a bit, thinking about technicolor ponies. But i'd smile way more if i knew that i would be living tomorrow, that i'd be granted a real bed and some real, cooked food. So good luck, all of you- might you find your own peace.
Might you win your own wars.










(P.S., it's me, the author. I lied a bit- your steely hearts wouldn't have melted any other way. I do have a place to sleep, food, and money. Don't worry about me- but do consider the message i typed. It was long! I deserve a medal. And some waffles. And a clear conscience. So bye for now, read, cry and think a bit- even if you don't have ice-cold hearts anymore.)

Hey guys, i'll just put the link here to the first video of my new channel, Saul Plays.
Just send me a song you want me to sing or play on piano/bass/guitar (will need to Tune it before though), and i'll manage to learn three of them each week. Hopefully, i'll be able to put a new video online on a regular weekly schedule.
So, the comments on my blog posts here will be opened for suggestions, as well as an upcoming thread in the Art area of this forum.

Enjoy!
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1...uction-a-bit-of-bass-and-winter-wrap-up_music

Have you ever passed two or three days without sleeping? If yes, you can understand that, at such a time of tiredness, your brain can get messy.
Anyways, That post was to share that website i found a few days ago. Hours and hours of pointless fun.
http://www.pointerpointer.com/

Listen up, Brony friends.

I'll start to do theses once in a while, because i can.

For some reasons i won't explain here, i can't directly link my videos on the site.

But, if you are a mature audience, or at least an advised one, and follow whatever rules that makes you okay to watch it, You can find my Youtube channel easily by searching ''Saul Laski''.

Hope to see you guys soon, leave comments on Youtube instead of here. And don't forget to brush your teeths!

Hello again, brain-eaters, and welcome to this magnificient post about beeing active on the internet while beeing an idolized god of the internets.

well, recently, i quited for a few months. Pressure, not enough time on the net, work, school, zombie's apocalypse...

The milk's price overgrew this season? We'll need a r34 hero like the milkmare of trottingham to save us, at this pace.
Seriously though, after a while, i've took under my wing a certain member here, my successor in the most awesome, narcissic, annoying BUT best roleplayer on this site (actually, i decreased and became a pathetic attention *****. But that's why this caracter is so UNfamous.)
I've started to wonder about why would i always come back when i've been forgotten by so many? I thing that's like the stocolm syndrome: you always come back to the one place that psychologically marked you (positively or negatively). In any case, i feel nostalgic. I remember those rps, the times when Eight Star was just a new member. His first roleplays, the one times i lost discussing with you uys on the radio's chat (the chat system wasn't there at the time). I mean, Foxy could even state it, These were the good ol' season 1-2 times. When we would be playing around in the first last to post thread.

That's why i always come back on this forum. Beeing a brony means nothing if you don't come back home every once in a bit.

Maybe i've re-watched theses first three seasons too much. I'm beeing transformed into a unicor, based on Adventure Time's Jake's girlfriend character.
(Okay, that isn't really the case. That's just how to put the fact that i see rainbows everywhere, literrally.)

Anyways, i hope you feel the same nostalgia as me sometimes. And if you're new, stay for as long as you can. You'll feel the nostalgia of ''the awaiting of the third season era'' when you'll wait for the sixth. And that is the best feeling ever: a bit of sadness, lots of laugh, happiness, fourth wall breaking, Internet invasion (try to type only s1 e16 on youtube: the first video will be Sonic Rainboom episode), and lots and lots of good memories, that will follow us until we walk in our graves.

(AAAAAAAARGH, why is the poetic, cheesy romantic and awfully clueless side of me coming on when i type this? Is it the mental state of ''i'm tired and wathed the great galloping collab three times in a row, my brain hurts, i'll write a blog post to my ol'pals''?
WHY do i feel like i'm getting REALLY insane in there?)

Oh, and a quick shoutout to Awesome: Lesson's coming, i'm putting a little order in my notes.

To everyone else, i'll maybe start a video channel soon, if you're interested. Multi-video/movies critique, it'll be humorous, and entirely filmed on my laptop, inside my new appartment.
'love you all, and hope to be able to stay on this forum a little more than a week. C'ya.

Hey guys!

I know what you're all thinking: What the ****? Saul, the awesome, divine elite of roleplaying getting a blog post?
Hey dudes, blogs are cool. That's where you can have a real updated activity, and attracts attention to yourself. A spotlight that makes you happy, since you can ''let the steam off'' and talk about how you feel and cope with the reality you live in.
That's exactly what i'm about to do: i've started a thread in the ''general discussion'' side-forum (since we all talk about anything except important things there, like the raise of milk's price, and poor countries getting help from the red cross, and where we can state our opinion on real subjects like how to get a girlfriend and the music you listen to) about how to cope with work and forum activity/keeep your popularity as whatever you do. I start to feel like a zombie: i've been undersleeping and waking up early to find a job. And, when i find one, it's in a restaurent where the rush starts at 12 and ends at 12... am. And after comes the close: clean everything, (insult the waiters for bringing you more and more dishes), make the food you've got to give to the delivery boy (actually, he's awesome, so i don't blame him) and answer your co-worker's requests. At least, the team's nice, and the kitchen isn't too hot (i've seen way worse at casa grecque, a greek restaurant wich's kitchen is as wide as a broom in lenght: you've got to burn you apron on the grill if someone wants to pass behind you), and i'm not a leaving dead... yet.
Anyways, go take a look at my horribly long post (don't be lazy. I've wrote it, the least is to read it and give your impressions/answer my questions.)

I think i'll need to get a lot of coffee if i plan on staying awake for the next hours. And a friend just called me! He wants me to move to the next town (45 min. on foot) to meet some of his familly (actually entertain a kid while trying to get a discussion with his uncle, who used to do a lot of escrime, a sport i'm eager to try).
Gotta go already... I'm expecting answers. At least character sheets for my Rp.
I'll do it... No matter what.