So, Internet Explorer, Mozilla Firefox, Opera, and Google Chrome are playing poker. Internet Explorer decides to start a conversation, and says: "So how about that new Windows '98, eh?" Only to realize that by the time he said that, the lights were out and the others had gone to bed.
Dragonite chewed on an ice cube. It had to spend the next few months eating its meals out of a straw.
knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupt- MOOOOOOOO. A man walks into a bar. He says "ow." what's a dentist's favorite letters? "I C D K" what's a dentist's favorite time? Tooth hurty.
Charizard went to a Rolling Stones concert. It never came out alive. Malamar went to a Beatles concert. It was never heard from again.
A new comedian goes to an elderly home full of famous comedians. Every now and then one of them will yell a number and they'd all laugh. Eventually, curiosity gets the better of him and he asks a nurse what's going on. "Oh. They've all heard every joke, so they all just applied numbers to them to save time." she replied. The new comedian, thought for a second, before turning to the old comedians. He yelled "42!" All the old comedians stared at him, completely serious. One of them said "some people just don't know how to tell a joke."
What do you get when you cross a crocodile with an abalone? A crock a baloney. What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Halfway.
So a Neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender: "So, how much for a drink here anyway?" The bartender replies: "For you, no charge."
The Dhali Llama walks into a pizza place and says "make me one with everything". [video=youtube;czvIhn2acVU]https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=czvIhn2acVU[/video]
A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, Professor! What if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion! That's my wife!"
Two geologists are looking at a rock. The first one grins and says, "That's a gneiss rock!" The other one frowns and says, "Looks like schist to me."
Two chemists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have a glass of H2O." The other says "I'll have H2O too." They both get a very nice cup of water because a bartender has no idea that H2O2 is a different chemical compound than H2O and just gave him regular water because he knows that much. A midget and a giant walk down the road. There's no punchline, but wouldn't that be funny to see? A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse replies, slowly coming to tears, "My wife was just killed in a horrible car accident."
