Once upon a time, there was a little girl by the name of Tiny Tina. She had hit puberty. Alas, today she romped around on top of the shoulders of her dear friend Krieg, a true psycho in nature, as he man-handled various thingamajiggers with a double-bladed axe and his rusty-nail-clad fists as she chucked dynamite wherever something dared to move. The guy named Krieg was a pretty friggin' big guy with some real hard-core muscles, and was a real man's man mixed with a real psycho's psycho. Spinning around and prancing and dancing about, the insano twosome seemed like they were having plenty of fun on the planet of Pandora, spinning about a field of tall grass somewhere within the wastelands, over in some place where there's a lot of bad doggies. Little did he know that soon he would meet some new friends, and MEAT some others. Pandora is a lovely place, a basic mix up of what some nerd some long, LONG time ago thought would remain science fiction, but this place is basically the Wild West in a place filled to the brim with a bunch of whack-jobs and nutters, like the aforementioned duo doing some weird stuff. Like nipple-salads and meat-bikes. Life is good in the world of Pandora, but you can also sometimes check out the moon. But no one cares about that place. We just like the collaboration of wasteland known as the Borderlands. And life is good.
12:02 AM: Apartment Complex, Concordia, Elpis. Winston took a sip of coffee from a (relatively) clean Styrofoam cup. He had just made a sale- The product? Hyperion secrets. He then shot his echo device with his Virgo Pistol, as he always does after making a transaction. Don't want Hyperion tracking the sale back to him. He tossed the now broken machine into his trashbin, and pulled out a fresh ECHO from a cabinet. The stolen Hyperion server next to him glowed softly in the darkness. There was knocking on the door. "Who is it?" He asked, silently loading ammo into his Submachine Gun. "We're here to inquire about a sale!" There was something wrong. Winston rarely strangers meet him in person for business, and when he did, they were to come alone. Gunfire. The door burst into flames, as did one of the would-be assassins behind it. Two more ran into the room, along with a GUN Loader. Winston shot his pistol at the Loader, disabling, before grabbing the server, and jumping off his balcony. He wasn't about to let them steal his stuff either. He left a present for them. "Hey, Joe, do you hear that beeping?" "Yeah, what do you think it is." The two Hyperion Engineers looked at the ground, to see a red, glowing grenade. "Oh Shi-" The apartment burst into flame, leaving only ashes. Winston made a run for the Spaceport. He was stopped by some corrupt security guard, but Winston froze his legs in place using the Cryo beam on his SMG, before hijacking a space shuttle, and making a break for Pandora.
To the ear piercing chorus of a man screaming, Slugbot enjoyed a relaxing shower of corrosive liquid. "You know what my favorite part of this is?" he asked his audience of discarded Claptrap units and corpses. "I do not have a brain to go crazy with. I am free to slau-" BANG, BANG, BANG! The cries of the now-deceased bandit attracted his allies, a clan of inbred psychos, each armed to the teeth with teeth and guns and more teeth. Though, most teeth were out of their mouths. Either way, they wanted Slugbot's motherboard on a spear, so he gathered his supplies and got into his truck and drove. He drove and drove until he reached the nearest hub he could, hoping the humans their would help him defeat his would be assassins. The only thing processing in his mind other than drive and stay powered on was one action. PURGE.
"Fire goddammit!" A voice in a radio said. "..." Ares didn't replied, he was waiting for the perfect moment to take down his target. "If you don't take him down in 5 second, I swear I will find you and I'll cut your throat an-!" Ares turned off the radio as he said that. He was over a hill, going to fire against a bandit he was tasked to kill some time ago. He didn't knew why they wanted him down, but he actually didn't care as long as he got payed for the job. After a few moments he fired, shooting his target just between his eyes. "it's done." He said as he stood up. He had his usual black clothing on and had his trusty sniper rifle with him, as well as his hand gun and knife. he then turned up the radio. "The job is done." he said, then turned it off. His payment was supposed to be a quite unique rifle. he usually didnt accepted that kind of stuff, just money, but this time he accepted since it looked quite good to let it slip trough. After a moment he left fr his prize.
Perched atop the remote spire of rock, Mordecai and Talon faced down their prey; a bead of sweat trickled out from under the Hunter's mask. "Get 'im Talon!" He growled to his avian embodiment of death. The creature shrieked, launched himself from his perch on Mordecai's shoulder, and hurtled towards his target. Mission accomplished, he flew back from the cooler and dropped the bottle of Rakk Ale into Mordecai's waiting hands. "Ah ha ha! That never gets old!" He laughed as he pulled the top off the bottle and fell back into his lawn chair to take a swig.
Two Hyperion loader robots were loading large crates of earth that potentially contained Irridium onto the last transport ship at a Hyperion mining facility. The sound of an approaching person made them turn their attention. "Halt. State your name." The man in the suit just smiled and waved. "Well gee. Hi there. My name is Ted. And golly, I hope you two don't mind, but I'd like to borrow your ship right there. I need to get back home soon, and I just don't think I have the gas to make it in my car." "Title unrecognized. Intruder removal protocols initiating." The robots' arms both quickly transformed into heavy guns, aimed at Ted's head. "Well gosh, I was actually hoping you'd say that." He quickly pulled a grenade, plucked the pin and hurled it into the body of one of the robots, where it stuck between two plates of armor, and he pulled out his rifle and aimed it at the other robot as it began to charge. "Firin-" the robots were cut off as the grenade exploded, splitting the first robot in half, and knocking the second one om it's side. As the second one began to stand back up, a massive beam of energy cleaned a hole right through the middle of it. "Sorry about that fellas, but accounting waits for no man... or machine." He quickly ran back to his hidden Prius, and as he drove it into the back of the transport ship, the alarms in the facility began to go off. "Well I guess that's my que to skee-daddle, huh." The back of the ship closed slowly while Ted read the slightly torn up instruction and safety manual for the ship. "This seems like just a dandy vehicle. Time to start her up." The ship started into the sky, and quickly took off towards his home on Pandora. The home of every vault-hunter (or accountant who was kindly asked by his boss to play the role of one) (I am assuming we're going to use the base of operations from borderlands 2, Sanctuary)
Winston took off for Pandora, and used his ECHO to fake a engine failure in the ship's blackbox. Once he was in Pandora's atmosphere, he set off the self-destruct sequence, and made a run for the escape pod, ejecting as the shuttle exploded. He wiped records of the escape pod being launched from the black box, and watched from inside his tiny capsule his decent to the Borderlands. He landed somewhere in the Wasteland between Sanctuary and the Wild Life Exploitation Reserve. He pulled on a lever, causing the door of the pod to pop off. He got out and observed the climate. In the distance, he saw a city in the sky; Sanctuary. Heading there would be his best bet for asylum from Hyperion.
(April fools, this isn't dying already I hope.) Ted whistled casually as the ship flew over the seemingly empty wastes. He landed the ship next to an abandoned gas station. He walked to the back of the ship, still whistling loudly, and opened the door. His car was inside, polished and clean like the day he recalled buying it. He turned the car on and drove it into a spot next to the fueling station. "I sure hope no one minds me refueling this myself." He walked to a pile of garbage next to the building and pulled out several strange pieces of rotting meat... or maybe fruit. Hard to tell. He walked each one over to his car one at a time and started a small pile next to the car. "Organic fuel is better for the environment." He continued whistling carelessly as he opened his trunk and started putting the garbage in a strange machine held within.
The small bandit shacks that littered Pandora weren't much of an obstacle for Slugbot's truck. At least, when he was blasting them to pieces with his cannon. However, rocks were. Especially when he was going at full speed. A pathetic, sluggish full speed, but still a full speed. Luckily, that rock was next to the pit where Sanctuary used to lie. The only problem now was getting his truck into the sky.
"MOOOORDECAAAIIIIII!!!" The sound of the man's voice certainly made him even sound like a psycho, for sure. Krieg wasn't too far off from the hunter's location, which he could tell since he recognized the hawk. Then Tina called out as well. "Mordecaaiii!! Come out and plaaaayyy!!!" Had to love the nonchalant attitudes the two had, considering that death was all abound. Such a lovely day.
Reclining in his chair, Mordecai couldn't help but notice the sky exploding. Well, not the whole sky, just one localized area; a ship exploding. Not that unusual for Pandora, but his keen eyes also picked out something flying away from the explosion, flying towards his position. As the object crashed on the plane bellow him, he realized it was an escape pod; the door of the pod flew off and a figure emerged. "Looks like we got a visitor, Talon." Mordecai remarked, grabbing his rifle. He inspected the stranger through his scope; didn't look like a bandit, but that didn't mean he was a friendly, things on Pandora rarely were, still... "Better not shoot him just yet; see who he is first." he muttered, half to himself, half to Talon; this might be the ideal opportunity to test Gaige's latest creation, a two-way radio projectile. He loaded it into the rifle, and fired into the dirt at the stranger's feet. It looked like an old school drive thru intercom. "Nice ship control, pal" Mordecai cackled across the intercom, before spinning around to spy Krieg and Tina approaching his rocky outcrop from another direction. He raised his rifle again, blowing a hole through the spiderant charging the pair from behind, then waved his arm, signalling his position to them, before turning his attention back to the downed pod and it's pilot.
Ares got his payment after a while, he had done his job and was now time to go sonewhere else. Pandora was an interesting place in which you could get a good amount.of jobs from the most interesting people. He walked for a while aimlessly. After a while he noticed that something exploded in the sky and decided to see what it was. He went into a high area and started looking.the area and noticed a small pod that had just crashed in the planet. This day was getting better and better. He took out his snipen and decided to see what waa going on in there. Sent from my lovely princess Luna
The speaker's identity came up as Mordecai on Winston's ECHO. If his memory served, he was one of the first Vault Hunters on Pandora, and was known for his impeccable aim and of course, bird handling. "Step off, will you? I had to set-off the Self-Destruct in order to get Hyperion off my tail."
Slugbot waddled around, searching for the next meatbag to either kill or threaten to kill, before stumbling upon the burning wreckage of an escape pod. "You there. Fleshpile. I need my truck up in the sky. Preferably in the floating city. You will either help me, or die trying. To run." he said to the survivor. "Psychos are easy to beat. Most of the time."
"Sanctuary?" Winston pointed to the floating city, while looking at the peculiar robot. "I'm heading there anyway. I'll get you up there."
"You're running from Hyperion? Well why didn't you say so!?" Mordecai exclaimed over the intercom. He frowned as he noticed some kind of strange robot approaching the pod. "Trouble?" he asked the pod-crasher.
Ares noticed the robot and aied against it. He was not sure why it was there, but given the conditiona, he just decided to see what where they doing. Sent from my lovely princess Luna
"Dayum." Krieg looked at the big 'splosion in the sky as he came up by Mordecai. "Wassup, skinny?" Krieg greeted Mordecai. Tina stuck out her tongue at the hunter, blew, and spoke. "Hey, hey, Mordy."
"Yeah, you see, I'm ex-Hyperion and I kind of... Stole a server..." Winston gestured to Sanctuary. "This robot and I need help getting up there."
"What is this, bring your kid to work day?" Mordecai rasped, grinning crookedly at Tina up on Krieg's shoulders. As the intercom crackled to life, he turned his attention back to the pair next to the pod. "Ex-Hyperion huh?" his tone turned a little colder; "You work with Jack?"
