My grandmother just died today, while we were visiting her. :V (Now, before I begin, please note I'm not trying to make a pity thread here. I'm feeling fine, a liiittle creeped out as we're going to be staying here in her house for a few days, but otherwise okay. Don't wanna lower anyone's spirits here. :3) We were gonna visit her because a friend of the family was basically giving us a rare opportunity to ride nearby in a private plane that he pilots, and would pick us up several days after. When we got here, after staying in a hotel for the night, we had spent several hours of the day, my parents working and me shifting from laptop to book, all in the living room, not really striking up much of conversation. My mom said after her death that she seemed kind of sickly to her. Then her asthma was acting up, her medicine not working very well, and as it got progressively worse, my parents convinced her that she should go to the hospital. On the way there, pretty close to the hospital, she died. :S Ugh, I just feel guilty WRITING about this. No one feel down, everyone happy. I personally feel weird about the whole thing. From this I was able to find some things about myself I had previously lost, and I'm REALLY grateful about that. I wasn't very close to my grandmother, and never saw her more than once every two or three years. :S Well, that's about it. Death is pretty weird, especially when you learn to stop being afraid of it. :S
I'm a little speechless at this point. I too have lost family before, Albeit they were closer to me than what you describe You Grandmother as being. You say you found something you had lost? Losing and finding in one fell swoop; I can't find words for this situation. Best of wishes to you Naikado. (Not feeling down, like you asked.)
Lots of things work within simultaneous loss and gain for me. What I found was in a bit of a meditation afterwords. We just ordered a pizza with her money because my dad doesn't have anything but $100 bills with him at the moment IF ANYONE EVER IS GETTING CURSED, IT IS ME. o~o
Death is a subject I rarely delve into... I don't know if this will be a wall of text or a short paragraph, but I think this my view. Death terrifies me. It chills me to the core and I become severely depressed when I dwell on it for long periods, such as right before I'm about to sleep. The thought that my conciousness, my soul, my mind, my very being... the thought that one day I will not think absolutely terrifies me. I will cease to be. Everything that makes me who I am gone... I don't know what to think about it. I can't prepare for it. None can tell me of their experience of it. It is truly the great unknown that none can explain and I find this unsettling. But why, I ask myself. Why am I scared? Death is a natural step in the balance of life. We are each born. We will all eventually die. Being dead isn't painful. There is nothing that keeps you suffering in death. You simply cease to exist. You disappear. Gone... I think this is where my fear lies. I don't want to disappear. I want to keep talking to people. I want to keep enjoying my hobbies. I want to enjoy life and I want to be remembered. I want to enjoy every waking moment because I know that every moment I don't spend doing something is a moment in my life I'll never ever get back. Yeah... sorry for being a downer... just my thoughts on the subject.
Death is never something that will truly affect me greatly. Honestly, when I'm finished on this Earth, I'm going to ask that nobody mourns me. My grandfather died earlier this year, and I was probably the only one in my family that didn't cry. I just let life flow as it normally did, without any sort of major or minor alteration. For me, death isn't a huge wave of emotions, simply a loss of someone you know. And that's my signature short paragraph.
No, that's not quite true. After we die, we continue to live on in a variety of ways . . . People will remember us, our genes continue in our children, things that we have done continue to exist, reminding others of us. We only truly die when the last of our children does not pass his genes, all the people we know die as well, and the things we have made crumble away. I don't mean to sound even worse, but that is the way of life. I suppose I'm a bit grim, but I've seen a bit more of death, probably, and have had a lot longer to think about it - though, oddly, not in a depressing manner. Except when I consider the people I leave behind. I think the key is, do whatever you enjoy for as long as you can. And even then, well, try to keep going. It's when you give up that it ceases to be living. As for death, well, I try to look at it this way - It's the last great adventure. No one really knows what it's like, except those that have gone over, so to speak. And one day, many, many years from now, we'll find out. I have just enough of a sense of curiosity and exploration to find this idea - intriguing.
Oh yes, this is quite true. Perhaps I wasn't clear on exactly what I meant. I know that my name, my achievements and those I've known will all carry on my 'legacy', so to speak. This isn't what I'm scared of. What I'm scared of is my own concious thought ceasing to exist. As I type this now, I'm thinking about what I'm typing, thinking about my experiences. It's this thinking... this self awareness I'm afraid of losing. René Descartes put it best in the phrase "I think, therefore I am". When I die, I will cease to think, and in my eyes I will cease to be... this is what terrifies me.
I know exactly what you mean, Foxy. That's pretty much the same point from which I see it too. I just can't imagine just..well...not being anymore. I think that's what kept me alive back then when I was so depressed a few years ago. I just didn't want to...stop existing.
Everyone fears death. It is a part of life.... we live to die. It's hard but we have to assume it. Meanwhile, we have to live life to the full.
I understand your concerns, and to be honest, I think Death scares everyone to a certain degree. My fear is that I won't be able to speak for myself any more, essentially. Sure some people will miss me, but that ain't important. The important thing is that I did what I did, and somehow, I know I did the right/wrong thing at certain points. Death ain't a touchy subject for me, though. I've seen it before, not really irked by it like I used to be. When I die, I die. Simple as that. Our legacy carries on, though. Whether it be our children, or just someone that looked up to us as an example. We never truly cease to exist. We just lose our ability to make ends meet, is all. That's what scares most people, anyways. The ultimate example of Not ceasing to exist... is history itself. For one thing, if any of you guys died, I would remember ya for the rest of my days. That ain't ceasin' to exist. That's making an impact, as you have all done upon my consience, and heart.
I suppose that right there is the scariest part of death as a whole, People WILL remember you for the impact you made, so the part that is most concerning is whether the impact you made was good and worthwhile, lest people slate your name when your gone for being a bad person. Its certainly the worst part for me, I can only hope that people will remember me in a good light, the even worse part? I will never ever know.
*hugs Naikado* i'm sorry for your lost. personally, I'm more afraid of death of people close to me than my own. I somehow know I'll aether be old, so there's much time to get to it for me, or it'll be some accident where I won't even know what hit me. But tough of living without people close to me, just freaks me out.
Actually I am the counter to this argument. I actually kind of look forward to it, only because I live with the motto "Even in death I still serve." This really has more to do with my religion. I had a grandparent die when I still lived in Oregon, at the time I had a broken elbow and the airport security had to check my cast for bomb material. I kid you not.
