I have a tough time speaking up when I'm talking to ANYONE that I don't normally socialize with on a regular basis, ESPECIALLY people who are in a higher seat of authority, IE my teachers. Also true with groups of people. :V I'm ridiculously quiet and act really shy, which seems strange to me knowing my usual self. I don't even recall ever being on the shy-side... Maybe I'm just so afraid of leaving a negative impression, I strive to try and avoid leaving any impression at all, probably leaving an already somewhat negative, if not negatively-inclined neutral opinion on others. Not very enticing to attempt to include if they seem ridiculously shy and timid. :S Though, when it's of someone that seems more of a socially or in any form of hierarchical equality or relative lowness, I seem to act more like myself around them. So basically, I don't want to make anyone who has any form of power to feel at all inclined to dislike me from initial appearances, unless it's electronically facilitated and I get to actually put together what I'm doing. So besides having possibly impaired public social ability, I'm a typical, fearful angsty teenager, trying to do my best to not screw up in an area that could potentially inconvenience me (though, my main goal, I'm fairly certain, in appearing well, is more geared toward finding potential <33's in a low-population area as opposed to simply wanting to be an attention horse). I guess I could also blame it on being particularly lonely in my younger years. That wasn't fun. Am I expecting being more liked by general people to change this? It could possibly affect this, if nothing else, than at least to be a good boost to my self-confidence, I guess. I don't know if that even matters though. SELF-PSYCHOLOGICAL ANALYSIS POSTED PUBLICLY IS COOL AND FUN, YO This would be so much longer if I decided to include the other elements of my psyche which are mostly comprised of personal belief and possible self-delusions (which are still somewhat valid in whatever form they take, regardless of any truths or self-motivated delusions). (I wanna be a psychologist when I grow up, daddy! ) If nothing else, this is why I need to actually do a blog.
You actually somewhat remind me of myself, especially when I was a couple years younger. I spent a lot of time in my own head, delving the depths of my own psyche and trying to psychoanalyze myself. At one point I did want to be a psychologist... Anyway, as far as shyness goes, My behavior is similar to yours, although the origin of the behavior is very possibly different. I believe mine stems from insecurity. I'm comfortable talking with people who I socialize with on a regular basis, but if someone new walks in, I instantly compare myself to them, and if I believe myself to be in any way inferior (looks, wealth, power, charm, wit, etc.) then I pretty much clam up. Although I wouldn't exactly say that I'm chatty around new people even if I don't believe myself to be inferior. I'm also constantly conscious of what I'm going to say, I analyze what I could possibly say, and the possible outcome, so much that by the time I'm done thinking about what to say, the conversation is over and I never said a word. I also don't want people to think I'm staring and being creepy, so I usually avert my eyes when someone looks at me, and find it extremely difficult to look someone in the eyes. Seriously, I've practiced. It just really makes me uncomfortable. Typically I find it easier to talk to authority figures and older people, like parents. I guess it's because they're not peers, and therefore...I dunno...less likely to judge me? I don't really have an answer for why I guess. Although it kinda works, I've been able to win over every parent I've ever met, even overprotective fathers of girlfriends. Anyway, this behavior pretty much led me to ostracize myself, and like most people, I found it easier to blame others than blame myself. So I ended up blaming everyone else for not talking to me, even though I never talked to anybody and my body language clearly said "don't talk to me." I've been trying to deal with it and correct this for some years now, even to the extent of trying to improve myself to eliminate the origins of my insecurity. I guess it's helping, a bit. Honestly I wish I could give you some kind of advice on this, but I suppose I'm pretty much in the same boat you are. :|
Well, you're exactly like me. I am extremely concious of what others think of me. The slightest negative gesture can send me spiraling into a self-conscious wreck. I always watch what I say and I never socialize with those who I feel will turn on me. It's an inferiority complex. I was quite lonely in school. No one really talked to me. Apparently I looked like a psycho. Because of that it's hard to strike up a conversation. So yeah, I'm a Fluttershy too.
If I ever resemble Fluttershy, it is when she has become frustrated to the point of losing it, or she feels that her friends are threatened, or there is a bear in need of massage therapy. I can and sometimes do get pretty intense, but you'd never, ever call me meek, mild, or shy in real life. No, I'm the guy who tells it like it is, doesn't pull any punches, and doesn't really care very much if someone is put off by my telling the truth as I see it. I'm not very diplomatic, for the most part. My work is technical and I approach most all issues from a technician's or engineer's perspective, where problems demand fixes. If it's broken, certain things have to happen to fix it. Those things do not include political negotiations. I can do the manic Fluttershy thing, but not the meek and mild thing.
omg thats like me D: always around i never talk when the ask me somthing i answer qwietly same with my perants ( i suck at spelling sorry ) i usaly stay in my room huggling my trun table and rocking beats when i leave my man hole i turn into a 4 year old girl for some reason my mum took me to counsling dident work cuz i never talked >< well that sums up my life xD
... Im pretty much the same irl... For me, it might also be something to do with the attitude of 'If I haven't any thing to say, I don't say anything.' This leads people to think im personality-less, which is funny! lololololol!
I used to be. Now I try to greet any new people I don't know, introducing myself. The idea is not to care what others think -- that's the anxiety part. You only make friends with new people that are willing. Everyone else is just swept away to the recesses of your memory and forgotten as insignificant. Then there's first impressions. I always try to be generic and/or concise, but the pretense of the meeting is the focal point.
Come hug me, flutterbro's! I've been in a couple of talking-groups for teenagers with similair problems, and every single time I was amazed at how many kids actually had the same kind of social struggles and anxiety that I was dealing with. And yup, here too I'm reading a lot I can associate with. Almost everybody is dealing with some kind of shyness... Yet it's still a huge taboo to speak of it in daily life. At seventeen I'm still very shy, especially at school which is like a hostile and chaotic environment to me. In conversations I often don't know what to say... and end up brabbling silly things. And I'm afraid to join a group of talking people. I have a couple of good friends, but I tend to stay away from people I don't know well. Even if someone seems nice to me (which is rare) and I would like to get to know them, I just don't know how to approach them. Now there is this girl I know at school. We've been mailing a bit, and we like each other. But the thing is, we're both not exactly amazing conversation-makers (and we've told each other so much). We try to talk to each other sometimes, but it's always a bit awkward. It's kind of funny when you think about it, really. I guess it just needs some time. Sigh... Let's all just remember we're not alone in this, even though it may seem so from the surface. Almost everyone is dealing with social insecurities.
