It's a bit sad that change is happening all around me in the world, but I can't do anything to be a part of it. Most of my friends are adults. I don't have many friends my age. Mostly because I find teenagers (Most of them) to be insufferable, clique-seeking cretins. But I'm one of those teenagers, and because of that I'm constantly underestimated by both my friends, and, somewhat positively, my 'enemies'. (Though I like to think I have very little enemies. Maybe 2. One of his own volition, not mine.) The more I try to prove myself, the more of my own ineptitude towards social values I show. I lack the knowledge I need for that type of stuff. I've always been a more of 'Do it my own way' type of guy. I just sorta... do what comes to me, not what people tell me to do. The way I've seen it, if it got the job done, it got the job done. And I preferred to do it alone. People were a burden to me. I still think that, to a degree, people are unreliable in the long run unless you nearly break your back for them. Sometimes literally. A well meaning statement can be taken as an attack for all the wrong reasons, which is my fault there. But sometimes I wonder why people don't try to think, 'Well he really has a hard time wording things nicely, so maybe he means it in a different way than he's letting on.' Then again, when it comes down to it, people don't like to think about what people say sometimes in my experience. Part of my problem is that I'm desensitized to the pain of being told that I'm doing something wrong; I live with it every single day of my life, and it's almost second nature to tell people what they're doing wrong, often harshly. Lately though, I've been trying to give improvements on top of criticism. Now I feel my mindset is backfiring on me, and I'm a little lost, but not helpless. Lately, someone has been helping me out a lot, and he knows who he is, and I've been discovering a lot of things about myself that I really never would have known if he hadn't told me to think and breathe when I grew frustrated or upset. It's really helped wonders for me. I'm a people pleaser. I like to make everyone feel satisfied, but it really hurts me to see that I can't help sometimes. I don't like sitting on the sidelines, per se. It makes me feel useless and weak, of which I'm partially to blame. I kinda feel alone whenever I try to please someone, especially when it doesn't work. I feel like I'm 'carrying the team' if that makes sense. I try so hard to establish relationships, work on things with other people, actually get to like them, but in the end, my poor wording and my awkward social habits make me the bad guy in a lot of situations. Each time that happens I find it a little harder to establish relationships with other people. I feel like I'll be a disappointment to them, or I'll just end up making them feel harmed in the end. Truth is, I really hate people. I've hated them ever since I've been bullied (I hate that word) for my sexuality, hated them ever since people have turned me away, and just hated them whenever they think all of my effort into talking with them and spending time with them was just to use them. I find solace in just spending time with animals instead. That's how far it's gone. I hate people so much that I just prefer spending time with wildlife rather than focusing on humans. Depressing, right? They don't judge. They don't think you're up to no good for no apparent reason. They don't care what you've done in the past, they just care if you treat them right. There are exceptions to the rule, of course, but... who knows when that can change due to my own idiocy. And, sometimes, theirs as well. I want to improve, yeah. It just doesn't make much sense when all I have to look forward to is a sharp tongue and a damaged ego. Does that make sense? I hope it does. I want to like having friends, I want to enjoy what they enjoy and overall just be happy. I don't know what keeps me from doing that besides myself. I just don't. And I wish I did. Thanks for reading this. I felt I needed to get it off my chest for a while.
Disregard people, acquire porn. Except actually. If you have people problems, just disregard people for a while. Cut off all contact, just leave yourself alone with whatever you like. Live alone with your thoughts for a few days, and see what comes out. Then, just forget whatever you thought about. Get lost in the sea of people. But instead of doing what you do normally, don't be a people pleaser. Go full dominatrix. Get everyone to do thins for you. Do the opposite of what you did. Then think again. You can't figure out anything about yourself without literally being someone else.
Sorry, but that's one of the things I'll not do. Tried that once. Didn't get much back... except a lot of hate.
While the way this is worded makes me think that the intention here is a trollish one, the point is surprisingly valid. Although I'm a little uncertain about your choice of wording in places. Welp, you've found one way to not achieve the specific goal you set out to do. Pick out what worked well, reflect on the things that didn't, update your methods, and try 9999 more times. If all things in life always worked out the first time around, life would be a hell of a lot easier.
Hate is good, though. Hate helps you see how other people work, and through them you see how you yourself work. Which in turn solves most problems. No person you see is actually how that person is. Instead, what you see is only one facet of them. Everyone sees everyone else differently. That means that there must be some sort of common factor that makes your vision of people unique. That unique factor is your own true self. So, through the opinions of others, hateful or otherwise, you gain deeper knowledge of the self. Then, when you understand the self, it suddenly won't matter what people think of you, because you know that no one's opinion can be a true representation of you. Trust me, I went through this catharsis myself. It wasn't pretty, but the benefits far outweigh the costs. [[EDIT]] not the time or the place bro.
Everything has its time and place, though strangely enough, that same thing might have different times and places for different people. On top of that, I'm not even sure what you're referring to.
No. Hate isn't the answer. I'm trying to get out of that, and I'm sticking to it. It may have worked for you, but it's not something I want to work for me. I'm sure there are better alternatives than focusing on the bad side of things.
It's less focusing on the bad side of things and more redefining what you consider as bad. If hate is feedback, and you need feedback to figure stuff out, then hate must not be that bad. Being able to re-frame your point of view is the key here.
Except I want to re-frame my point of view under a different emotion than just hatred. I've done nothing but hate and just be angry about everything for years now. My mental health, as well as a lot of my friendships, have deteriorated because of that. I want to find other avenues, not just the one I'm already on. Your advice is sound, but it's not what I want to do with myself.
x2 I'm pretty terrible at giving advice, and when I give it I always feel like I should have worded it better, or said something different. But here goes.. I've always been a big believer in the theory of Occam's Razor. Basically, what seems like the most obvious problem (or solution) often is the problem. A lot of the issues I've had in my life -looking back- were so blatantly obvious that it's almost laughable I couldn't see them at the time. But regardless, I really couldn't see them at the time. So I'm just gonna point out the most obvious things that I see in your post, and if you think I'm being stupid then feel free to ignore me. 1. You over-think things bro. Searching for hidden meanings and subtext in your interactions with other people will just lead to a lot of unnecessary paranoia, and will negatively affect your interactions with others. I've been there. Don't read too much into everything. 2. Don't try to fix everything. Men (in general) have a need to try and "fix" things, including relationships. Friendship is a two way street, there has to be give and take. Also, sometimes it is better to just sit back, to listen and to let things work themselves out. A lot of times what people are not looking for is someone to fix their problems, but simply just someone to be there for them. 3. Don't be so critical of others. I haven't really noticed you doing this, but if you're aware that this is something you do too much, then it's something you need to work on. People -hate- being criticized...even if you're legitimately giving them good advice and only trying to help them, what they end up feeling like you're doing is judging them. A lot of times people need to learn the hard way, and chances are they will do it regardless of whether or not you try to steer them in the right direction. Unless they ask for advice, or you think it is absolutely, positively imperative that you tell them - let them make their own mistakes and learn their own lessons. Hope this helps. P.S. - Sorry I haven't been on Skype lately, I've had a lot on my plate for awhile now but it's looking like things are starting to calm down.
It's good that you're doing some introspection and acknowledging your faults. Recognizing them is a good step in knowing there is something you want to change about yourself. Worry less about what people think about you and focus more on doing things that make you happy (as long as those things don't hurt someone else :derpe. I've found it better to focus on getting a few really good friends instead of a bunch of acquaintances. Don't worry about hating people; focus on avoiding the ones you don't like and try to find ones that you do like. They are out there, and in these days of instant communication worldwide, you should be able to find some. No one can fix everything. But it seems you are trying to take steps to help yourself. And that's a good place to start.
I have recently been experiencing stuff like this, except I just act like it's funny. I laugh at people who laugh at me. See, I hate people too. Others think they are sooo good, or sooo much better than anyone else. I despise people like that. Absolutely hate them. In fact, I had a dream last night where I killed a dude at my school. Good dream. I'll never do it though. I try to keep it in until I have a safe outlet. But, don't get me wrong, I still try to make people happy. It's a good day for me if I make somebody laugh. At me, with me, I don't care. Another thing I do is stay away from girls. Don't think I'm gay, I'm completely straight. But girls, man, they bring you down. A burden. They want you to spend everything you have, money, time, on them. Then they turn around and stab you in the back. So yeah, I don't want anyone. You give me the sexiest girl with the best personality out there and she pleads with me to be with her all her life I'll say no. Nothing she can do to change that. Over time, I might change, sure, but now.. Heh. (Wow I've typed a lot...)
From the way you type (original poster), it seems that you're in some kind of political warfare, where one wants to prove that "HE CAN DO IT, HE CAN LEAD THE PEOPLE". No? Then I don't understand your use of those words. Anyways, first steps first. Have a positive mindset, we'll begin right after there.
