When Everypony Forums fall upon hard financial times, Tyro calls upon us to raise money for the site! Several users set their sights on Behemoth Bank, the world's largest and most well secured bank. We pull up outside the bank in our van, and look at what challenges await us. The rules of the game are simple. Behemoth Bank has a wide array of defensive measures to protect the vault. You must come up with a way to get past them, and then present another challenge for the user below you. Here's how it should look. Person A: There's a wall of lasers blocking our approach to the vault! Person B: I take a mirror out of my bag, and reflect them! We approach the next obstacle, and discover that there's Tear Gas up ahead! Person C: I'll use my vacuum to suck it up! And so on. I'll start us up. We get out of our van, and there is a moat filled with crocodiles. How do we cross safely?
We call in some Swampfolk to wrestle the crocs into submission, but now the Swampfolk want a cut of the loot!
Damn it! You and your Swampfolk! Hey, Swampfolk, does this oily rag smell like Chloroform... We swim across the moat and reach a gate leading under the lobby and right into security room. But, at the entry to the tunnel is the dreaded.... CUSTOMER SUPPORT HOTLINE!
After outsourcing the hotline to India, we are free to pass. A short time later, we encounter... an angry bear!
Luckily, someone had the foresight to pack a tranquillizer gun, but all this noise has attracted the attention of two overweight security guards!
We knock em down and waterboard torture them to give us the code for the security room! We gag them afterward, and climb up the ladder into the security room, however, the top of the ladder is guarded by a giant bearachnid! (Bear+Arachnid)
We dawn a fancy bee keeper suit and present the bearachnid with a full hive of hornets as a passign gift (hornets for the arachnid to eat and honey for the bear). We walk past as the bearachnid is munching away one his treat only to find an entire hall where the floor and walls are absolutely covered in poison joke.
Since we are men, and not wuss baby cowards, we walk right through the poison joke! It might be a problem later, but we're fine now. Suddenly, the floor opens up and we're falling towards a spike pit!
One of us yells, "Grab on!" And they throw a grappling hook at the top of the pit, narrowly stopping us from being gored on the spikes. We climb up, and continue down the hallway, but our advance is blocked by loud, friendly Italians!
Luckily, one of our party is a coffee aficionado, and is able to distract the Italians with his exquisite beans! Unfortunately, the corridor beyond contains a sophisticated laser alarm system!
One of our more attractive members flirts with the lasers and takes them out to dinner, leaving us free to pass. We next encounter Jackie Chan, who tells us he has sworn to protect the bank and doesn't want any trouble.
The Poison Joke kicks in, turning us all into horrifying monsters. We defeat Jackie Chan, but now we're all horrifying monsters.
I say.. unless we are too large to fit somewhere or some other unforseeable pitfall, THIS IS AWESOME! Unfortunately as we continue we reach a room where the walls are all plated in diamond and the only way to openings are tiny pipe openings and a small vent sized crawl space that our massive, strange, and unthinkable monster bodies can not fit through. Also as we contemplate the door into this room slams shut and the floor begins to slowly flood with water.
We breath fire at a temperature of 1500°F, boiling away the water and reducing the diamond walls to nothing. Moving on, we find ourselves facing seven hundred spiders, each as large as a Mack truck.
Luckily, we stay clam and realize the spiders are as scared of us as we are of them. They all scurry off. Unfortunately, they leave behind a maze of spider's webs and giant fly husks that we must now navigate.
We use our ESP given to use by the poison joke to navigate the maze with ease, but now Jackie Chan is back after receiving cyborg augmentations to replace his mortally wounded body parts and training at the top of Mount Everest for 15 years! He throws a bucket of poison joke antidote at us, reverting us back to normal!
We calmly inform Jackie Chan that we've been in the building for less than five hours, and he therefore could not possibly have been training for fifteen years. He quickly disappears in a puff of logic. Advancing further into the bank, we get caught in a time loop! Advancing further into the bank, we get caught in a time loop! Advancing further into the bank, we get caught in a time loop! Advancing further into the bank, we get caught in a time loop! Advancing further into the bank, we get caught in a time loop! Advancing further into the bank, we get caught in a time loop!
After looping 2,045,968,098 times, we finally notice we're looping! One of us opens up a portal to another universe where everything is the same, but the time loop did not occur! But now we see our alternate selves trying to break into the bank!
We join them, thus doubling our manpower and resources. If we can't trust us, who can we trust? We walk down a hall that slopes downhill. Suddenly, a giant boulder starts rolling after us!
The corpses of the ones those who couldn't keep up slowed it down, allowing for us to survive! Survival of the fittest! Suddenly, Time Cop Shia Labeouf appears, and is here to arrest us for enter the alternate timeline!
