So I have written a script and done a rehearsal in front of the camera, of what I plan to do in front of my class in 1 week. The context is, this is a media class and we have to pitch our idea for a 3 minute segment documentary of a 30 minute talk show. If I am successful. I will get to make a formal documentary with expensive resources at my disposal, a full crew of other students and real paid actors, if that turns out to me nessecary. I just met a real brony in my area to I will be able to get a genuine interview now. It will be aired on public TV in Australia, as a 3 minute feature if I work hard enough to proves to be a better production then the class, or a 1 minute feature, if it's one of the top 4 in the class. Even if it fails that, it will be a production I'll own that I can post to Youtube or whatever. I put a lot of extra work into pitching this to my class and lecturer, all we had to do was just stand in front of the class and off the cuff say what our idea was, in order to impress my lecturer I have planed a formal presentation with a projector and palm cards. This video is my practice run and also my invitation for you to improve on it, nothing is set in stone yet and I could use your help making the speech more efficient, funnier, more creative whatever. I also have trouble being assertive like Fluttershy as you can tell, I don't have much emotion in my voice. other techniques for overcome this are welcome. I think one I have the excitement of the audience I may have more energy. I'm worried the Bronies before Hoenies, bit may be too pink for most non bronies to appreciate, maybe I should go for something else. I am aiming for 15 minutes at the most, I aim currently at 12 minutes but you would have to take into account the time I have to spend stopping and starting the video I am presenting. In this practice I have superimposed what I plan to have appear on the project ocer myself for a few seconds. Here's the video. [video=youtube;tmQMu45mnPc]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmQMu45mnPc[/video]
Did Faust work on Spongebob? I'm not sure she did. On terms of the actual rehearsal, you look a little tense. Try and relax a bit. Also, you seem to be forcing a lot of the things you say. Again, you need to take this in your stride. Remember, you need people to enjoy this if you are to gain any hold on the audience. Nitpicky: 'Gained', not 'Gotten'; It sounds better. Anyhow, keep up the good work!
The part with Fluttershy near the beginning just kills me. Also, one thing that bugs me, but it's not an issue, is how you said FiM as pronounced. I think it might involve who you grow up around and accent, or culture, or whatever, but I feel more comfortable saying "eff-eye-emm", pronouncing it as an acronym that can't be pronounced as a word. Don't worry about it, it's just a thing I'm used to, and I'm sure you're used to how you said it. Now, concerning audio: -It appears all the sound from clips of the show only went through the right speaker. Since sounds comes out of both left and right when you begin speaking, this is possibly an issue on your side, however I am willing to investigate my headphones to see if there is an issue on my side. I'm honestly hoping it's not an issue that'll stick when you do your project (If this is prerecorded for the project, that is). Other than that, the audio is good. Considering your wording: Be careful. Ignorant jerks are ignorant jerks. For an example: ...and that anything the person says will be used against that person in court,... -United States law enforcement's Miranda warning, the required act of U.S. law enforcement listing the criminal's constitutional rights to him/her as he/she is arrested. By this, I mean, jerks will take anything you say and twist it to attack you with it. The best thing to do is ignore it. I have found an example of what verbal ammunition they could use: "...she's the girly girl, who makes dresses..." then later: "...I related to her a lot more." This is a possible weapon for them as they could ignore the parts I blocked off and claim "Hey, he said he's girly". However, don't worry, haters shall indeed hate under any circumstance, best way to deal with them is debate it calmly by using logic over 'lulz u ghey'. ...lastly, to back the part about humour all ages can laugh at, point out the possible reference to Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Twi's running number is 42 and Dash asks "What'd you read, the Egghead's Guide to Running?"). Everything I said is a suggestion, feel free to ignore some of them, all of them, or none of them.
Thanks Ciphered, when I do the actual presentation I have a video of clips and images that I will play and pause on the projector. The right speaker thing wont happen then. That was my fault for not putting their audio on a third stereo track. The microphone since it is mono, I copied to 2 mono tracks. Anyway technical mumbo jumbo i'm sure you don't care about. I agree that the Rarity spiel is a bit awkward and I should rewrite that, I think I have AppleJack sound a bit uninteresting too. It would be good to have a clip for twilight, I was going to use one from the Swarm of the Century episode. But I don't have that one saved and all my youtube downloaders have stopped working.
Keep up the good work Setzertrancer. Ciphered wasn't the only one that noticed the Audio problems. During the video clips, it was going through the right side, and the left side had a less sound than the right one. It probably will be fixed on the final presentation. As for the presentation, you are prepared and ready to do it, besides the shirt that has yet to arrive. *Now I read the above post by Setzer...* Ok, I see why...anyways your well prepared and hope you do your best during the real deal.
You are a bit tense, I know it's a rehearsal but be sure to work on that. Your voice did seem to go a bit deadpan in a few spots too. Otherwise, I thought it was quite good. I do hope everything goes right for your presentation and that the audience will be receptive to what you have to say. I have the utmost confidence in you Setzer, knock them off their feet...if you want to...
That's strange, I had no audio problems on my end. It sounded like it was coming out of both speakers just fine. Maybe my audio system is just... better. lol As for any issues/concerns/suggestions, I only have a few things to add to what's already been said. One part that kinda caught me off guard was when you said something like "It must suck to be her" when you were talking about Applejack being an earth pony. I don't know how your lecturer evaluates that sorta thing, but when I took a public speaking class a couple years ago, saying something like that was frowned upon. I'd reword that. Perhaps something like, "Despite not having magical powers or wings, it does not take away from their significance as characters." Just something I thought of off-the-cuff. Make it positive. Also, I'm not sure using the word "Interwebz" is appropriate, but then again, that goes back to my previous point. I'm not sure if you're using that to relate to avid Internet users or not. I'm not sure if that kind of jargon would work in a speech. I'd stick with "Internet." I believe you also mentioned how the show contains humor that even adults can appreciate. One of your clips already demonstrated that. The Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash one (Pepe Le Pew). In addition to Ciphered's suggestion, perhaps include the Puff The Magic Dragon reference (Huffy the Magic Dragon), or maybe another you can think of. If time permits, that is. I'd reword the part when you said, "What? You think kid's shows can't have catchy music?" It sounds like you're attacking the audience. I think a line such as, "It's perhaps a common misconception that kid's shows don't have catchy music, but My Little Pony:FIM is able to successfully break this archetype." I dunno, another off-the-cuff thought. I'm not sure why you used "Bob The Builder" though. I guess to provide an example of a kid's shows catchy tune, but I'd use something specifically from MLP:FIM if possible. I'm not sure what song though. I'd probably avoid Pinkie's songs because to non-bronies that may give the wrong impression. Probably one of the songs where they all collaborate. Once again, I'm not sure if this'll interfere with your time limit. Other than the thoughts above, on the whole I'd say it was pretty darn good. I enjoyed the elements of humor you included as well as the facts you presented. I also like how you concluded your presentation. As far as nervousness is concerned, I'm sure you'll improve with more rehearsing. I can relate to what you're doing. As I mentioned, I was required to take a public speaking class, and believe me, for us shyer folks, it feels like Hell. I'll echo what Ciphered said, feel free to ignore all, some or none of what I said. I'm sure you'll do well and I wish you the best of luck. Keep being awesome!
I'm not a fantastic speaker or anything, but I've taken a college oral communications course where we were graded on different speeches we gave over a variety of topics and my degree involved a lot of giving speeches in front of the class. I've also been a public speaker at a convention or two here in my state, where the audience was a lot larger than my college courses. So, I thought I'd just give some of my constructive criticism. The one thing that helps keep the audience's attention, and it makes me feel a bit more relaxed, is walking or pacing while talking. I think that would make it more engaging to watch as you give your presentation, and from the video it appears that you want to be moving. I can totally understand that, as it happens with me once the jitters set in when I'm about to do some public speaking. Also, there seems to be some awkward pauses here and there. For example: In the beginning when you're telling the audience about how the media negatively portrays us, I feel that the gap is a bit long between you saying we're discriminated against, and explaining how the media is going about it. Practicing should smooth this out quickly, however. That way you'll already have in your head what you want to say. If it's from losing your place on the cards your notes are on, a strategy that helps me is to follow along where I am with my thumb in the speech. Just keep your thumb under the line you're on, and you'll have an immediate reference point to where you're at in the speech. Also, some teachers like it if you give a presentation with the mindset that the audience doesn't have a clear idea on what you're talking about. So when you start talking about memes, maybe giving just a brief definition of what a meme is might help out. If you feel that it would seem like you're talking down to your audience to do so, then by all means ignore this advice. You want to provide information without coming off like you think the audience is a moron (which you're most definitely not, and I really like that). With the comparisons of ponies to other characters, I was actually thinking Twilight Sparkle is more like Hermione Granger than Harry Potter, but that's just my opinion. I also agree with ePONYmous about the "sucks to be her" remark regarding Applejack. He gave a good substitution, in my opinion. I think overly negative remarks like that are best avoided or reworded. I'm also unsure about calling Rarity's accent "obnoxious," but that isn't as negative. Personally, I'd cut it but still say she has a snobbish, high society accent. Again, I'm in agreement with ePONYmous about the comment regarding cartoon music. He provides a good alternative for that situation as well, and I do feel that a MLP:FiM song would fit better. If you have people in class who are in drama and enjoy musicals, you can get their attention by using a clip of "Art of the Dress" and mentioning that it's a direct homage or "borrows" from Stephen Sondheim's song "Putting It Together" from the musical Sunday In The Park With George. I really like the eye contact you're giving, and that you're not just reading off your cards. That also really helps to engage the audience with your presentation. It seems silly, but it helps to practice looking up in a new direction. That way, you're including the entire class if you keep looking at a different section of classmates. I had no audio problems on my end, either. Doesn't sound like that's a concern, and from your video it sounds like you're speaking at a good volume. You kept a good mix of humor and facts, which I'm sure your audience will greatly appreciate. Also, the ending is so perfect! I think your presentation will be successful, and I hope that you get selected and can go all the way to being shown on public TV. I will so fanboy everywhere and be like, "I'm on the same forum as him!" if you make it on TV here in the United States. Keep up the awesome work, Setzertrancer! *Brohoofs*
amd i would recoomend that pic of pinkie pie wearing that practical joke gear with the words "haters gonna hate" underneath when yku say abiout negative reactions to bronies,just to lighten the mood
Hm. A little awkward, but not bad, not bad! Only - well, I'd lose the bit about the "memes". (Ech! I'd rather the rest of them die out! Er - sorry, no offence, I hope.) Having said that, I do think this could just be the ticket to end this dad-blasted war once and for all!!
I think this is very brave of you! Your presentation could use some polishing put it was generally good. I'm your fan. Now go and convert some peeps!
Setze, you should cut out the parts where you are not speaking. It would conserve at least 2-3 minutes. The videos you used from the show could be shortened down too. It should be hyper, as most of your classroom probably is not a brony (i guess). Keep it simple and entertaining, add a background song and make it about 20% volume. It would be good too.
I really like the idea. You hit all the major points for the fanbase outside of the target demographic. You have everything laid out pretty well but I agree, shorter clips would be a tad better. I'd also like to suggest that you do the dialog a bit faster. All that aside, since it is for a media class, it might be worth mentioning the interactions Faust has between the fanbase through her DA account. Incorporating elements thought up by the fanbase in the show is really what got my attention first. But this is my own personal taste here. I tend to place a heavier value on some aspects of media that might actually just be miniscule facts.
Good overview, I would lose the bit about MLP being "manly" though. I thought the whole point is to get away from gender stereotypes, but now you're using it to support reasons why someone should be a fan of MLP?
Okay all the good stuff has been said. I agree don't hate on the earth pony for being different. I mean were all different for watching show. I liked the clips, they nailed the main point on what you were saying. Also as Manehattanite said drop the part about it being manly, to me it kind of sounded like your trying to defend yourself from audience then defend the show itself. For music you should play singing telegram, it's short, funny and catchy. Talk about Derpy and how she came to be. The show creators listening to the audience. I guess you could talk about the community itself, like the music remixers, the forums, the artists. Well that's all I got as far as help.Maybe you might convert a few people or find a hidden brony. Bravo for you doing this and GOOD LUCK!
@Mane, you make a good point, I should lose the manly thing. Although I hate gender stereotypes though I'm not sure if the audience will feel that same way. @Pixel, I personally don't like singing telegram and as for the music in the show in general, I probably wouldn't have appreciated them myself until I had the wool removed from my eyes. I think my audience will probably hear those song as being as childish as they expect. I am actually thinking of showing them the amazing Night of Pony PMV to give them a taste of the fan work. But I don't want to go into it too much. I will a bit when I'm pointing out the amount of contributed content to knowyourmeme.com on the chart. Anyway I am taking a lot of your suggestion and making changes. Thanks everypony for your generous feedback.
sorry for the bump, but I have something to report. The Fluttershy T-shirt it looks like it unfortunately won't arrive in time. I'm going to make one last attempt to see if I can get some sort of iron on shirt thing made. It that doesn't come through I might just have to tell my class, what I had planned for the end and just show them a picture of the shirt on the projector instead and say, i'll be wearing that to school sometimes, DEAL WITH IT! (captioned pony picture) Or I could have my computer theme completely ponified, and try and keep people from looking at it during the presentation and then turn it around at the end. I dunno, damn slow postage. Anypony got any better ideas? Anyway My MLP is awesome presentation is on Monday. Not just am I going to come out in front of my whole class, but as soon as it's over with I am going to make my facebook avatar fluttershy, i'm going to once again allow all my youtube activity to be posted on my facebook wall and I will ocassionally wear my fluttershy shirt to school. Needless to say I'm am anticipating having a lot of stories to tell soon. Or maybe everyone will be so accepting of me that I will have nothing interesting to say about it. I'm almost hoping for a least a bit conflict after I come out, because it will be fun. Of course too much could make the rest of my school life miserable. I think i'm only taking a small risk, because I'm that confident that my class are nice people and that some of them may even become bronies themselves. Or maybe already are. It would be so funny if someone said after my presentation "I'm a brony too". If that happened I would probably cry in front of the class in joy and the video will become the most viral presentation since the physics presentation. Yeah I'm dreaming, the more morbid possibility is that I'll become frozen from stage freight once i'm up there and do a bad performance.
Thanks for the update Setzertrancer! That's a bummer about the shirt not making it in time. Accursed postal service. The iron on idea is a good alternative. Only other thing I can think of is if a local store sells some pony pins. If your school allows it, you could also bring in some muffins or cupcakes for the class. Best of luck to you on your presentation. I'm sure you'll do great! Just picture all us EPR bronies cheering you on.
