I hate to say it, but my life is coming to a close. I'm only 12, but... it's just over. Every day, it's the same damn thing... I wake up, take a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, sleep through 2/3 of school, get home, and have a screaming argument with my family. It's getting worse, though. My parents have now threatened quite seriously to take me to a mental hospital because of my severe depression. My dad is so deeply disappointed in me, I can't look at him. I think he thinks this is his fault. My mother is just angry. I hate her, but I can't physically describe to anyone how much. Let's just say, passionately. My teachers seem to love me, but I am failing school, and all my parents do is nag me about it. I can't seem to get it through their thick skulls that I don't care. My entire life is just pain, all day. Before, the days passed too quickly. But now, they are painfully slow. I don't do anything, just sit around and listen to music. But why do I scrape through the days? So I can die, like everyone else? What does it matter, we'll all be dust one day. Now I just have to wait for the days to end, so I can relive the same torture the next day. Everything in my mind is angry and sad, and even my usually happy side had become unusually grumpy. I just can't take it. Sooner or later, I'll snap, maybe of boredom, perhaps anger, or even just sadness. That day will most likely be tomorrow. I'm planning to get in a fight, to settle some old grudges. Before, I was like a humanist. I focused on how amazing humans are, and what we can achieve. But now all I seem to think is of what we are. We are just odd looking creatures that kill each other for paper. Every day at school, we are expected to get up and tell a piece of cloth that we won't kill other, more "valuable" humans. All I seem to think is how everyone is dead. In this week alone, two people I know died. That makes six my entire life. All I am really saying is that I was born in the wrong generation. No one is making progress. Do you see cures for dangerous diseases? How about people going to foreign countries and handing out food, medicine, and spending these little pieces of paper for all people, not just the ones we like? You don't. No one does. Although, whenever I make this speech people just tell me to "look on the bright side", or that I need to "open my mind to opportunity". Well, annoying optimists, I've been waiting a long while now for a bright side, or for opportunity, and it looks like I'll be waiting a while more. Now, with these ideas in your mind, let's look at medicine these days. Almost every drug these days has more side effects than it does intended ones. Why? Because the medicines are not intended for you to feel better. What? Medicine not designed to cure pains or diseases? Never! How many times have you heard a woman on a commercial say, "Thanks to (insert drug here), I'm feeling better about my day." Right after you heard, "Side effects include excessive bleeding, higher cancer risk, depression, heart attack risk, stroke risk, serious swelling of (insert VERY important organ here), and death. Do not take (drug) if you are pregnant, taking anything else, or have any medical condition including the one this cures." All people are doing is making fake drugs with fancy names to make money. And I'm off topic. My life is just winding down to a close, and I don't see any reason to be happy. My mother says that I, "don't see the light at the end of the tunnel". News flash, idiot, that light you love so much is death.
You know, I'd give you my advice, but it sounds to me like you don't want any. It sounds like you're just gonna remain depressed no matter what we say. So thanks for being a downer, and good day.
Well, yes and no. While being "depressed" is widely considered a bad thing, it does come in handy. I don't fear death, for example. Plus, it drives people away. The negatives being it greatly influences my issue of being bipolar.
Sometimes the cure for depression is some good words. Others, it is a slap or fist to the face. You won't accept the former. You seem to be going for the latter. Here's to it working.
So that's how it's going to be... Well, thanks. I posted this to feel a bit better. If you want to insult me, that's your choice. Just promise now that when I'm dead none of you will care.
In that case, I will give you some advice. I recommend you take control of your life. Take some initiative, and talk to your dad about getting yourself committed. Honest, no joke. If you feel that you have these problems, then maybe you aren't fit to have the life you're leading now. Psychologists will be able to help you out of these problems better than anyone else. All you need to do, though, is have a little faith in their methods. You have to WANT to be better, before you can get better. Get some help, because you need it. For what it's worth, my hopes go with you.
Oh, believe me, those therapists don't help. All they seem to do is tell me to feel better. Well, THANKS. As for the want to be better thing... What's better about being optimistic? I don't believe in any god, and that, at first, was surprisingly relieving. Now, all people think is that I'm either possessed or I'm "confused, but God will forgive me". Is it any better to believe that life gets better? To hope that my life will pick up? All this thread is doing is making me feel worse, and making me close up. Bipolar coming on, wanting to feel happy.... You know what? I should be more happy. Maybe I should accept life for what it is, and- bipolar coming on, wanting to feel sad... Only joking. In all seriousness, I don't see life picking up. As a side note, Thomas, I am so, very sorry. Forget me while you can.
>Takes genuine advice as insult. Seriously. Unexpectedness and shock are the best triggers for change, and it seems it is what you need. If there is one thing worth believing it is that things will change. In your case it seems that things are unchanged for too long, and for a ride to smooth you're making it harder. I had something similar once too. Through sheer force of will could I escape.
Okay, so you just sh*t on my advice after asking for it. I'm starting to think you're a troll. I didn't say Therapist. I said PSYCHOLOGIST. Totally different animal. GET COMMITTED. And there's a medical theory going around. Basically says that your attitude has a lot to do with your physical and mental health. If you have a more positive outlook on life, you'll live a longer and better life. If your outlook is negative, then your body and mind will respond in turn, and make you miserable. If the theory is true, then you are currently your own worst enemy. Don't blow me off. I'm dead serious. If you feel this way, GET COMMITTED. Have the men in white coats haul you away to the funny farm. Work towards getting yourself better, and quit being lazy. No one's gonna wave a magic wand and take away all your problems. The only one who can do that is you. You just have to want it, and work for it.
Okay, I know I'm new, and yeah this is my first post here. But believe me when I say it WILL get better if you accept help. Whether that comes from a stay in the mental ward, or from a million different mood-enhancing pills, it will happen eventually. I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago after suffering quietly for about five years, and only recently have I started to pull out of it. Paradoxically, what happened to pull me out of it was my son dying. That happened, and I realised nothing else that had upset me before that could compare, and didn't matter. I don't say this to downplay your own pain - I don't deny it is entirely real. That was just my experience. Please, seek help. You're only starting out in this awful thing we call life, and you're definitely at a point where it can go either way. The world can lose a bright light, or it can gain someone with such potential for greatness. And oh my god I hate myself for saying that, because I hated being told I had "potential" at your age. Why couldn't anyone see what I WAS, not what I could be?...
I used to be exactly like this, but it got better. You may not see it getting better tomorrow, or in a week, or a month, or a year, but it will get better I guarantee it. That doesn't mean it will be easy, but you'll be able to make it through. Suicide is never the answer, despite how much you think you parents hate you, if you commit suicide, I'm pretty sure they would be overcome with grief. Trust me. It would be a terrible thing to kill yourself at a young age, I guarantee you, if you were to commit suicide, in those last seconds, you would regret it, and wish you could take it back. Don't do it, people on this world love you even though they don't know you (including me). This community has already saved many lives, let it save yours.
The only true cure for these things is willpower. You have to convince yourself, and from there, keep doing it until you pull through. This can either be the easiest or hardest thing to do. But sadly, the only one that can do it is you. All we can do is help. As for pills, I don't really believe in those helping, just as flu symptom relief doesn't fix the issue (the flu).
Trust me, I think willpower is just harming me. I was suspended from school for openly displaying willpower. While it is not the same issue, trauma is rather strong in my mind.
The willpower I used was that of defiance. Yes, Assistant Principal, I did call you an *squee!*. In front of your secretary.
It is when he is telling me what I can and cannot do. I may be a student, but I am NOT property. Don't treat me as such.
^ agreed. That is perhaps misplaced courage. Willpower is when you can convince yourself of anything, no matter how hard it is to believe it. Willpower is, as ^ said, perseverance.
