A Saturday Night at the Movies!

(May contain some language. Mostly English)

So as some (none) of you may know, I work in the show business industry! (I work at a movie theater...) I usually work from about 6pm - 12am. Which translates to 5:30pm - 1:30am.
Anyway, I started working at the concession stand just like any other day. Business was pretty intense since its a new theater, but hey, it gave me something to do.
It got a little more interesting around 11pm though. We started to clean the frozen yogurt machine and zomg it started to leak and explode. There was the freezing stuff oozing out of everywhere and spewing from the nozzles. Me and some other employees started freaking out, grabbing it by the handfuls and hurling it into trash cans. We couldn't get it fast enough though and it was getting all over us and the floor. One of the people decided to start shoveling it into their mouth just because of the fact that there was SO MUCH.
One of the managers walked in and stopped dead in his tracks. "FLUTTERSHY WHAT DID YOU DO?!" He starts freaking out (Fluttershy since privacy reasons lol). The manager's last name is Dorche and we all call him Dorchebag because reasons. So he comes over and tries to shove his thumbs into the machine, spewing it all over us. Another manager walks in and starts wailing "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DORCHEBAG?! SOME OF THESE PEOPLE ARE JUST KIDS! THEY'RE ONLY CHILDREN! WHYYYYYY!?"

So at this point everyone's love suits and ties are covered in not-so-frozen yogurt as we start to employ large quantities of buckets to tame the rivers of chocolate and vanilla. Dorchebag spits out a mouthful and yells over to me "Fluttershy! Stick your arm into it! The shut of valve should be all the way in the back!" So I pull up my sleeve and shove my arm all the way into the chamber of chocolate excrement in search of the magic valve. I finally find it but it's frozen stuck! I wrap my hand around it in hopes of it warming off enough to turn, chocolate pouring over my shoulder. Dorchebag is cursing his head off, the other manager scolding him for cursing in front of minors.
I finally get the shut off valve turned and and pulled out, slowing the flow of yogurt. I slowly pull my arm out of the machine, shivering and covered in frozen chocolate.
As we're getting cleaned up, everyone starts saying "Dorchebag destroyed Fluttershy's innocence during the yogurt indecent!"
I finally get cleaned up (sort of) and head out of work around 1am. Having not had dinner, I make my way over to the only place open; McDonalds.
I get out of my car and see a large group of black women stumbling around clearly drunk. They all come up to me and start sniffing me in places that I wouldn't like to be sniffed and say "Hot damn you smell niiiiiiiiceeeeeee.... How's about you take us alll in a riiide in your vaaaaaaan?" One of the distinguished ladies asks. As nicely as I could say it, I booked it into the McDonalds, not interested in getting raped by a group of drunk black chicks with a chocolate fetish.

All in all, a wonderful Saturday night.