Adventures in Bike Shopping

My old bike, being a total piece of crap, would not have gotten me out of Oregon, much less across the United States.
So I decided to get a new bike.
After a bit of shopping around, I settled on a Schwinn mountain bike from Walmart.
Not a great bike, but sturdy enough to hold my fat ass.
I was all set to buy the Schwinn when I was advised to visit the local bike shop, and see if maybe I could find a good used bike.
At the bike shop, I found a 1996 Cannondale M500, seemingly in excellent condition.
I explained that I need the bicycle for a cross-country trip, and that it needed to be sturdy.
I was assured that the bike would hold my weight, and everything I read online said that it was a great bike, so I bought it.
I spent fifty dollars more on the used Cannondale than I would have on the new Schwinn, but what the hell, it was a better bike.
I also spent a hundred dollars on accessories; a new seat, better pedals, fenders, the works.
Because the fenders I needed weren't in stock, I left my new bike at the shop, on the promise that I could pick it up later that week with everything installed.
When I picked it up, I found out that the hand grips that I had picked out wouldn't fit on the bike.
Instead, they had installed a set of 'ergonomic' grips that didn't fit my hands properly.
It was the same set of grips that, when they had tried to sell them to me on my initial visit, I specifically stated that I did not want.
Instead of leaving the old grips and refunding the money for the grips that I had chosen, they instead installed something that I didn't want.
I had also specified that I wanted cruiser pedals.
Instead, I got mountain bike pedals.
I was annoyed, but decided that it wasn't worth worrying about.
Then more things started going wrong.
The derailleur kept kicking the chain loose when I downshifted, and the chain itself broke while I was pedaling up a steep hill.
I pride myself on being a good bicyclist, but even so, I only just barely managed to keep myself from rolling backwards into traffic.
I hadn't even ridden ten miles yet, and the bike was already proving itself to be a deathtrap.
After that, I replaced the chain and fixed the derailleur, and hoped that nothing else would go wrong.
Naturally, something else went wrong.
The back wheel is messed up, as are the brakes.
Hopefully, I can find and solve the problem before I leave.
The lesson, of course, is that one should always trust their instincts, and not the advice of well-meaning but ignorant people.
If I'd bought the Schwinn like I originally planned, I wouldn't be having these problems, and I'd have a hundred dollars more in my bank account.