An evaporated friendship

First off, sorry I've been gone from this site for so long. I was hoping to finish school and catch up on pony but I've been way too slow (gotta find a good day to watch like 7 episodes) and I guess I didn't want to see any spoilers or anything. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So, looking back at my last blog entry from October, I was surprised to see some of the things I said. Unfortunately that's not because I got used to my friend moving. Instead, I got something way worse: he became an ass.

When he left, I talked with him a bunch and I had thought we were possibly as close as ever. I was so consumed with this thought that I had completely forgotten any suspicions of "jerkiness" in him as he left. In fact, I remember telling myself to deal with it so I could try to have a good time with him in his last few weeks. As time went on I got more used to him leaving. Although, while we had our good times online, we also had our share of bad moments. I remember getting irritated as he rarely answered my texts while answering group text messages from another friend right away. But any suspicions lingering would be erased whenever we had a fun time playing a game online (which was every now and then).

This summer, he texted that other friend and me that he was able to visit us for 3 days (July 6-8) because his dad had to come here for work. Here's the catch: his dad couldn't pick him up until late, meaning he had to stay with my friend or me every day until then. Now this doesn't sound like a bad thing, but you'll see why it is soon.

So he arrived on Monday, and when I saw him for the first time in about 9 months, he was slightly different (somewhat lower voice, a little taller). My other friend couldn't meet us until late because he had basketball practice, so it was just him, my brother, and me. We caught up, watched some videos, and then watched part of a movie. It was a great day and it certainly reminded me of some good times we had together.

The next day, I woke up a little late as he and my other friend asked me to play basketball. They had been out for a while though, so they got tired and we went inside my house quickly. We watched some videos and cooled down. But instead of playing any games with my brother and me like usual, they continued watching videos. They were ridiculously stupid, and were the types of videos my friend hated before he moved. This went on for a while, as if it were just the two of them. Eventually, I tried to start a conversation by asking him if he remembered a YouTuber who we used to hang out with online. He said no, so I showed him a video of his, and he stared at it with a blank look on his face and said "is this supposed to be funny?" I'm pretty sure he couldn't hear half of it because of my other friend's video blasting loudly, so the comment kind of irritated me, like he was going to say that no matter what. After more videos from the two of them, I grabbed a guitar and just started to play something. But my friend grabbed it away and (I think) jokingly said he could play it easily. This left me with nothing to do until the other friend left. Afterwards, we played a game until his dad was ready to pick him up. The game happened to have customized music that I put in, and when the first song started to play he said it was terrible. Insulting my music was something he had started to do around the time he moved, so that didn't rub off well on me. To me, dissing someone's interests can be funny if it only happens a few times, and if it persists then it really turns into a personal attack. I thought I'd bring up a reason as to why I liked a band of mine to keep the conversation going, but it was no use because he insulted them as well. Sometimes I'd actually respond to his "attacks" in a not-so-serious tone, but he'd laugh and say I'm mad like it was really just teasing, which at this point to me it wasn't.

Wednesday, the final day, was by far the most interesting day. I was upset at how my friends had come into my house and treated me poorly, so I decided to take out my frustration on some basketball while listening to music (this usually helps me calm down). I knew they'd come outside eventually, so I got up early to try and beat them there. I stayed out for 2 and a half hours (much longer than I normally would) and was about to go in when they both came out. Of course, they immediately said "why didn't you tell us you were out" and then asked in a "roll-your-eyes" tone why I was listening to music. I told them it was for excercise and ignored any tone they used toward me. My brother then came out and we played a nice, long game. However, whenever my brother said basically anything they would make fun of him for it, a trend also from the days before my friend had moved. I was just noticing how he had seemed to instigate most of the teasing, realizing it had somewhat died down after he had left. After the game, a friend from school asked me to play even more basketball, so I agreed and took my friends and brother with me. Unfortunately the exhaustion was getting to me and I had started to cramp up from seemingly everything. Luckily for me, the game ended quickly as it had started to rain, and my friends from school left. My brother called for a ride, but my friends still wanted to walk, as the weather here changes quickly. As we were leaving I noticed we forgot our balls, so I went and kicked one over, which sent a wave of pain through my calf. I was cramping up again, but this time it was a full one. I tried to walk it off, but my other leg suddenly cramped as well and I fell to the ground in pain. My friends both looked at me incredulously and kept asking why I was laying on the ground. The one who was visiting kept teasingly swearing at me to get up, calling me a p***y. At first I didn't mind because he was obviously joking this time. Then my other friend told me to stretch to try and make the cramps go away. As I remained on the ground in the rain, the friend who was teasing me suddenly walked home with my other friend. Yep, he didn't even wait to make sure I could stand up (which I still couldn't). When I finally got up and walked to the library with my brother to get picked up, I was drenched and fuming. How could they just leave me there writhing in pain? Oh, but it gets better. After we passed them (with them staring at us) and got home, my other friend had practice again. So of course, as soon as I stepped into my house, I got a call from my "homeless" friend asking me to take him in. Now, this is where a lot of people would prefer to tell him off and hang up the phone. But I just couldn't do that. I couldn't break off a friendship that had lasted for so long with so many great memories, especially on the last day he was here. Just a little longer and I didn't have to see him anymore anyway, right? So he came in and we decided to finish the movie. As we did I subtly dropped him a hint I was angry by saying "yeah, that's why you left me on the ground..." He just laughed jokingly. My brother even added "yeah, he's actually pretty pissed about that..." as we set up the movie. Afterwards, my parents even offered him dinner because he had nowhere to go. My other friend joined us afterward and we played games, which was pretty fun except for one thing: they were again poking fun at everything my brother said. He swore at them at one point and I could only try to keep the situation calm. Later we watched some videos until the friends went and watched their own stuff. It wasn't as excluding as the first time, though, as they still payed attention to me. My brother, on the other hand, was playing a game by himself and having nothing to do with them. At one point I asked my friend if he'd come back next summer, to which he said "probably not" because apparently his dad was only around to close a business deal and didn't actually have to come here very often. I said "yeah, but you know, if your dad has some other important business thing..." and he apparently took this as me begging him to move back (?) because he said "there is no way it would work for us to move here" or something like that. I let the topic go and soon his dad came to pick him up. My friend left with a casual goodbye and we talked to his dad for a minute or two before they were on their way.

As they drove off I thought this would probably be the last time I would ever see him again, and yet I didn't feel anywhere near as sad as I did when he left 9 months ago. I thought back and realized he had been needlessly rude to me way too often. He questioned half of the things I said, including jokes. He berated my brother constantly. He probably didn't say "thank you" one time the entire visit for our hospitality. I had gotten the whole deal with him in these 3 days: the good, the bad, and the mixed. In a way, I had gotten closure after his sudden departure 9 months ago. In the end, I came to the conclusion that maybe him moving wasn't as devastating a loss as I had originally thought. Sadly, even the closest of friends can change like this, and while he remains oblivious to everything that has gone on between us, it will always remain sharp in my mind. I'll also never forget the awesome times we had over our 6 years as neighbors. But things have changed, and I can without a doubt say I am ready to move on.