Goldeneye 007

[size=+1]Goldeneye 007[/size]​

Yep! More adventures in the games I missed out on in my youth of playing...the other consoles. And, again, I've gone for another mega-seller for the console. A game that is constantly marked as a bonafide classic. A must-play. A point in history when the first-person shooter was changed forever!

Goldeneye on the N64. A trend setter on a console seemingly full of them! It is a legend every gamer should know of.

And...after playing it for a while, my verdict is to announce that it is OK. Just, OK.

It's still pretty fun after over a decade. This was released the same year as Lylat Wars and was made by then super-developers: Rare. Famous for Banjo-Kazooie, Perfect Dark, Conker's Bad Fur Day, Diddy Kong Racing and Donkey Kong Country. Rare were kinda a big deal before Microsoft gobbled them up. They're still around, of course, but they don't seem to be the same rockstar developers they once were.

Now, this really is the first time I've ever sat down and played this game before. I came in completely fresh. Me, a weirdo reviewer in 2014. Some games can stand that whole 'test of time' thing and unfortunately, Goldeneye hasn't aged as well as you may have thought.

First, the plot. Ever seen Goldeneye, the 1995 James Bond movie? Good. It's basically that but you get to shoot things yourself. There's a Satellite Weapon thingy called Goldeneye that someone has stolen and taken over but it's up to Bond to unmask who stole the weapon and save the day. Seem rushed? It's OK, the game barely glances at it. I just about know what's going on and I haven't seen Goldeneye. I'm not sure I care to either though...

So, why wouldn't it be awesome despite being a movie tie-in game? Reason one is in how it controls.

I can understand this to a degree but, good lord! These controls are clunky as all bloody hell. I have had better luck constructing sandwiches with my feet. It's a weird combination of the strange controller and the now-defunkt movement system that throws you for a loop if you're not ready for it.

In a modern first-person set up, you strafe by pushing left and right on the left analogue stick. Up and down will move you forwards and backwards. Effectively, your legs are moved around while your head is controlled by the right analogue stick that's turned and moved up and down with it. It's a relative standard for a reason. And I can forgive Rare for not having the insight to program the game in what would become the industry standard. It was 1997, I can't expect everything to be the same as 2014. I don't have the frame of reference to comment further. Perhaps what they went with was felt to be better with the N64 controller.

Yeah, yeah, Insert your own 'Third-Arm' joke here...But seriously, The Wiimote was not the only weird controller throwing people for a loop, it seems.​

In Goldeneye, the analogue stick turns you and moves you forwards, like a tank. You strafe with any number of control combinations you want but the standard is left and right on the C buttons. Up and Down on the C buttons will move your head up and down. It's so awkward to relearn this stuff, I can scarcely believe it. They feel so unintuitive, it's practically crooked. Your first few goes will result in you pushing the wrong buttons or slamming into walls. I kept managing to push A to fire and accidentally swapping my weapon for another one by mistake. It was getting infuriating. After a few hours of play, I'd say I've grasped the controls but I'm hardly circle-strafing baddies with much finesse. Auto-Aim has become a necessity.

Yes, the game will aim at things for you because it seems to be faster than using the control scheme. I don't mind this. The auto-aim is not an aimbot. You don't just fire and the computer does everything, it will only control Bond's wrist. So if you face a baddie, you will lock on until they move out of your view. It makes the controls passable as it eliminates all the awkward shuffling you'd have to do in order to line up a shot. Just rock back and forth, tapping the C buttons carefully and then fire. Meanwhile, baddie #1092-A has already sunk five bullets into Bond's colon while I was faffing around with my pistol sights. Fire fights would be infuriating without the Auto-Aim so I choose to keep it.

But you can alter the controls. Do they change the controls to something more familiar? Yes and no. They're all rough configurations on a few main control schemes: using the analogue stick and the right side of the controller, analogue stick and the left side, the D pad and the C buttons and using two controllers to give you two analogue sticks. I played most of the game in this last mode. It felt a little better but it just replaced the C buttons with an analogue stick. There was absolutely nothing else altered except what I had to push to do things. And that I had to hold two controllers now. It's definitely an expensive option but I got used to it. I certainly got comfortable and started mowing down baddies.

I began to enjoy myself.

The game is rather fun. You're given a goal and it's up to you to figure out how it's completed. There's a little excitement there as you get into gun battles and run through these levels. The enjoyment and appeal of the game unfolds, showing you why it's so revered as a classic. The missions do offer a steady stream of challenge and didn't find myself baffled with what I have to do in some levels.

On others however, they're a little fluffy with the details. I don't mind this approach. Why make the game utterly linear? It's a good idea to let us explore these places and do stuff within them. Like trying to find one building in an enemy base filled with guards. That was pretty cool as I wandered around in the cold wintery scenes, picking off guards before they could spot me. I'd find the radio tower I needed for the first objective. I climb inside, move to the control room, aaaaand...

Well, the objective was to cut off the base's communications. So, I did what I've done for the other missions; push A on it.

"Eh, no." The game said, "You've just turned on the communications device and raised the alarm. You failed."

"Oh!" I sighed, as Bond's abdomen slowly filled up with hot lead. Ample amounts were provided by the guards surrounding him. "Then what do I do?"

"I'm not telling. Try reading the manual or something like that." It replies, the game simply carrying on. Goldeneye is like that; it doesn't fail you and then bring you back to start again automagically. It just lets you wander around until you give up. It's partly like he's letting you explore the level freely to get your bearings and partly letting you wallow in your frustration as the respawning enemies dogpile you with their guns.

"I...I haven't got the manual." I replied.

"You idiot! Did you throw it out with the box?" It retorts, Bond currently fleeing for his life. Thankfully, the generous amount of health was aiding him. While you never get anything to replenish it, it is a decent amount and you can gain body armour to protect yourself further. "Because it's all in there! Like how you access all the extra gadgets we give you on a mission by mission basis. You're gonna need them! As well as how to exit the mission because I'm cool like that. I'll let you keep going even if you trip up to let you get a feel for what's happening. And how to find all those mission documents you skipped straight past without reading."

"It's OK, I'll look it up on the internet, kay?" I said, turning to my laptop and began typing. Goldeneye gave me a strange look. I don't think it's heard of much since 1997 so the internet would have been that funny thing you used to download wallpaper and sounded like a computer trying to speak but having to start approaching English by learning Hellspawn first. In fact, my N64 seemed confused every time I prodded the 'shiny stone' in my hand and pressed it to my ear to talk to it.

It was also confused as to why people were laughing at this grounded and centered intellectual instead of praising his wisdom.​

In fact Goldeneye needs a lot more thought than I was imagining to play it. Levels don't just push you in the right direction, they're all about the exploring. I'm only OK on this as some levels are enjoyable to get around and look around each corner.

Some are not. Some are massive, confusing spaces that give almost no visual cues or landmarks to work off of. Some levels were either stumbling around in the draw-distance fog while others had corridors that looked so similar, I could barely tell which was which. Some levels became a slog because of the frequency I had to spend trundling through them. Because I had no idea that I had a doo-dad that would help me here or I had to do a certain thing in someplace somewhere, I kept getting my arse handed to me. It was annoying.

One level I despised was Statue. The navigation there was absolutely awful. Granted, the place is meant to look like wreckage, fine. But it took me so, so long to get my grounding in this weird landscape. The only saving grace was finding the shotgun. Absolutely hated it's overload of information and yet, lack of geographical points to get bearings from.

Pictured: First-Person-Shooter Hell​

Also, escorting people is kinda crappy. Granted, it was kind of pioneered and popularized by this game but man is it awkward. The Bond girl you have to save and escort around these places is pretty annoying. She has no weapon and barely any health herself, making her largely useless. She doesn't have any special skills or abilities. She doesn't say much. She doesn't even react to gun fights in most levels, as she dimly stands around you, soaking up gunfire.

The other time I've sound her intolerably irritating is the prison level where this woman will actually run off if you get into too much gunfire. Fine! It's a reaction but she is then programmed to ditch you and hide. And you need her in order to finish the level. Often, she'll force you to backtrack through a good lion's share of the level just to pick her up. Then you trapse back, trying to keep the alert level low. Which happens to be pretty hard in this game as Bond's controls don't feel all that tight, blah, blah, blah. AI may be just about witless but sneaking around is still pretty awkward feeling. However, a few shots and no-one is any the wiser, thankfully.

Yes, I mentioned Natalya, because it's impossible not to mention her. She's the route of all the despising thoughts anyone has ever had about an escort mission. Especially ones concerning unarmed ragdolls bumbling after you, having no interest or concern for the weapons on the floor! Can I have Alyx in this instead? Heck, if she brings her suit of armour, I'll even accept Ashley from Resi 4 .​

Wanna know what's still fun? The Multiplayer! You know, the thing that everyone remembers but was slapped together in a month or so?Still pretty good. Finishing Missions on the hardest difficulty unlocks things all over the place, including Multiplayer stuff, if I remember correctly so at least 1 complete save file is preferable for all the goodies.

But the mode is still fun. The modes are as creative or basic as you want, the weapons are a good mix of heavy fire, rapid-fire guns, pistols and shotguns that makes killing your opponent very pleasant. Plus, they'll let you play in some decent arenas. Some are a little claustrophobic for my tastes but they do force players together often, ensuring that there's always a battle happening on a regular basis.

Overall, it's certainly showing it's age. Goldeneye has become awkward and murky over the years. However, there's still a lot of good game under here still for new and returning players. You genuinely feel like you're on a mission and it's down to you. You're not funneled anywhere, you are James Bond. That has always been Goldeneye's greatest strength. It's emersion and fun because it makes you think. Possibly get the thoughts going and the heart racing. Just a little. You can't but wonder what happened to that in some games sometimes...

I stress 'some', not all.

I'm glad I visited this aging legend, despite the initial awkwardness. Even without a pair of rose tinted spectacles of my own.