I had an existential revelation because of a nut

I grabbed the nut off the table and then grab the nutcrackers. I put the nut in between the nutcrackers and squeezed. Then I squeezed a little harder and then a little harder. I realized it was not breaking then I thought to myself "either the nut is too determined not to break or I'm not determined enough to break it". And by the time I put the nut down, I realize that I already gave up. Then I thought again, "did I give up to spare the nut for its efforts or did I give up to spare myself from the humility of not breaking the nut on the first try". Then I thought again, "the fact that I'm even thinking about this means I've already lost, the fact that I did not try again". for those reasons I realized my lack of confidence. And as I'm writing this I thought of the proverb "if at first you don't succeed try, try again". And you know what, I am going to try to crack that not again but I'm not going to eat the nut. I'm going to crack it because I can - because I want to know I have the confidence to try again.