It's basically a really long Facebook page update right?

Seriously, I've never done the blogging thing. Well, I figure Facebook and Twitter are ways to blog in short bursts, and so there's a precursor to the whole blogging scene in that respect. Now then.... what in the hay do I blog about? And why do they call it a "blog" anyway. Perhaps I'll research the subject for further ruminations. At the moment, my only subject matter is what I have around me, my current environment, my room, my domicile, my hideaway where time is meaningless. Yes, time matters about as much as the points on "Who's Line is it Anyway." Why is that? Well I guess it's because the town I live in hasn't got a single thing to do and I live in the middle of nowhere.

After growing up in neighborhoods with plenty of houses where the nearest "insert name of business here" was about 10 minutes away by car, having to live where I am now is culture shock of the worst kind. If you're not a lumberjack or a farmer, then you need to live somewhere else. Why did we pick this house? Well, it's got plenty of elbow room. My sister was told she'd get a horse, and I was told I could get an ATV. Neither of these things has happened and I don't have much else to show for it. I used to ride my bike all over the place, I'd make journeys that went on for miles, cruising through neighborhoods and streets lined with stores and restaurants, but now that's an impossibility. This place has no sidewalks. Not only that, but the side of the road doesn't even have a level patch of grass for you to cruise on. Instead, there is a ditch. Yep, a nice deep ditch on both sides of the road where the cars barrel along and pay very little attention to the generous 55mph speed limit. Add up the ditches, the crazy drivers, the complete lack of a neighborhood environment and it equals one solid fact: I ain't going anywhere by bike.

This is becoming a sort of angry autobiography isn't it? Still with me? I wouldn't blame you if you aren't, since nobody really likes listening to a stranger complaining, but since the outlet is here, I might as well exploit it. Some of you are already thinking, "Get a job so you can afford a car, man. What's the issue here?" And I can tell you right now that it's an idea I had too, three years ago. Yeah.. Over the course of three years I have been turning in applications at every business that would pay attention to me. I want a job, badly. Of course, we all know how bad the job market is at the moment, and I've been getting nowhere fast.

So this is me, doing what I do. Establishing communication with the outside world via the internet since there isn't another human being in my age range anywhere near me. Now for the record, I'm an extremely social person, and I was lucky enough to do a year of college at an actual factual university. Thing is, those universities want a lot of money, and getting the cash to go back is tough when you're as bad a student as I was. I fell pray to the tragedy that befalls many a college freshman. Got myself in way over my head with classes and clubs while trying to sample all that I could. It didn't go well, academically anyway. Socially it was utopia for me. I made a million friends, joined a bunch of clubs, lost a bunch of weight, learned a bunch of new skills, performed at open-mic nights and basically had the best year of my life. On a side note, I may look back on this blog for reference notes if I ever do write a book. This is some good ranting right here.

Ok, so now I'm hanging out in this social isolation since none of my college buddies live anywhere near me and I can't afford to visit anybody because I'm basically broke. Don't worry, I'm not sobbing as I write this. On the contrary, I feel I can make light of my situation for the most part. But hey, if you're still reading, thanks for sharing in the whole experience of my human comedy. I think I'll try not to rant so much if I make another entry, maybe focus on something happier. Like Ponies for example, since that's what we're all here to talk about. But hey, this is my very first blog entry here, and we all know that in a superhero-origin-story-movie, you have to get a bit of background on the character before we get to see them put on the stretchy pants and start raining pain upon the seedy crime world of wherever they are. Have I kept you captivated and begging for more?! If yes, don't tell me just yet. It'll just make my ego swell up to the size of Jupiter and then you'll never hear the end of my gloating. Or maybe I'm lying and I'll really be humble about it, but can you afford to take that chance? Can you?...

If you've made it this far, I commend you. You win at life. You are a fantastic individual. Not like anybody who might have stopped half-way and left. Those people have got nothing on you! Have a wonderful day you glorious person you!