Possibly my last question...

Published by Librarian Marquis in the blog Librarian Marquis's blog. Views: 290

As I lie here in my hospital bed, I realize I have no reason to be here at all.. I'm not an interesting person nor do I have anything of value to offer this community. Therefore, I am worthless.. I joined here out of loneliness as my friends won't speak to me now that they know I will most likely die. I was hoping I could make friends, but I guess I was actually being selfish and hoping you all could fill the emptiness. That was wrong of me, and I apologize.. But I still must ask one last question as it's very important to me. I hope you don't mind...

How do you comfort someone who is going to die soon?

A dear friend of mine who I met in the hospital about a year ago is going to die very soon... She was and still is the only one I can speak openly to about just about everything (Life, death, books, music, friends, morality,emotions, etc.). I have been speaking to her the same way I have been for the last year, yet now she seems to get no joy from our conversations. She rarely smiles and listens to some of the most depressing songs I have ever heard. I always see her either dazing into the distance or crying, and it frightens me...

I don't know how to comfort her. I've been wondering if I should do what my friends did to me and stay away from her. My "friends" ignore me or act as if I've already died and no longer here.. I can't ask them for advice or anything.. and honestly, I miss them. That's why I don't want to just ignore her, but I don't want to hurt her either. Please, give me some advice.. I know I don't deserve it, but I really don't know what to do...

I really hope I die soon, before I cause anymore problems..
Feb 19, 2013
  • Pain
    Pain Feb 19, 2013
    Are you planning to kill yourself, or are you fighting a disease?
    Wanting friends isn't selfish.
    Don't end life.
    As for comforting your friend...you'd have to tell me more about her mannerisms and stuff before I can say.
  • SpiderSandra
    SpiderSandra Feb 19, 2013
    You cant comfort someone how is going to die. Its not a thing to just let go off.. You'll have to make her laugh, be her friend and just be normal with her.. If you comfort her she will only feel more bad.
  • TaKeTsukiina
    TaKeTsukiina Feb 19, 2013
    Oooh c'mon... don't think like that!
    I mean... I'm worthless too, I don't have anything to offer just my quite creepy music I make... ;)
    You're not alone...
  • Dark Samus
    Dark Samus Feb 19, 2013
    How is it selfish when it costs us nothing? You are in desperate need of care. I'd do a lot more if I wasn't already exhausted... Still, I'll do my best.

    Your friends have failed you pretty terribly. Being receive for who you are--who you truly are, is an actual need and without it, your very health suffers in a similar sense as to how your health suffers without adequate food. Your health is already in a critical state and that undermines your ability to help others the way you want but that's OK. It's not something you should worry about. It's OK, it doesn't make you any less of a person. Your potential as a human being is more important than what is it you have to give to or do for others. After all, you are no slave, are you?

    I urge you to give these videos a look.
    Part 1
    Part 2
    The long haul
    These are all points that get brought up and explained in the book When The Body Says No: Understanding The Stress-Disease Connection
  • Librarian Marquis
    Librarian Marquis Feb 20, 2013
    I suppose you could say I'm fighting a disease. I wouldn't say I want to kill myself as much as I would like to let myself die..

    Now, about my friend.. She's hard to describe. She tries her best to wear a strong face, but she is actually quite fragile. She's very polite and kind while also being a very "straight to the point" sort of person. At certain times, it seems as if she is in her own little world. That's the best I can do to describe her a bit.

    Maybe you're right.. and yet, I still can't seem to settle with that. She didn't even smile when I spoke with her today.. I don't even know if she even saw me. I should be the dead one, not her..
  • Librarian Marquis
    Librarian Marquis Feb 20, 2013
    No, I wouldn't see you as worthless. I'm the dead weight, not you. You've been very welcoming and kind, and I can't even do that. I do wonder, though. How lonely are you in death? That's the one thing that excites me, I'll get to know the answer before my other friends.

    It costs your time, effort, and brain cells for dealing with me and my idiocy. I don't need care nor do I deserve it. From the sounds of it, you have your share of difficulties, and I have no desire to be added to the list.

    It's actually probably for the best that my friends abandoned me.. I would be a hindrance to them anyways. I think it would be rather funny if I "died from worries". That death would suit me. To bad I wouldn't be around to hear the joke, though.. Sometimes, I wish I were a slave. Having no purpose just leaves a big hole in my chest. It feels as if that gap has been growing lately...
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