Should I stay or should I go?
Published by Dwynter in the blog Dwynter's blog. Views: 387
I don't post here very much, not like I used to many years ago. Well, months. I used to be in the top twenty posters, but not anymore. Not that that's very important.
What I mean is, I used to visit this site every day, and spend most of my day here, from when I got up to when I went to work, or go to do my weekend chores, or sometimes until I went to sleep. And when I wasn't posting, I was hanging out on the radio. Then, I realized nothing else was getting done in my life. I wasn't writing, I wasn't getting things done. So I started wandering away, forcing myself to take a day or two off. And that became a week off, then a month, and I suddenly realized I hadn't been on for several months at a time. That was back around the beginning of the summer, and since then, I've come on a bit more often, but nothing like I used to be.
I used to greet every single new person that joined and posted an intro. I tried my best to respond to everyone, because I know what it's like to be passed over, feeling like I'm being ignored, when, in fact, no one had anything in particular to say to my comment. Not everyone understands this.
I think at first I posted constantly because I was sort of popular, and I've never bee even slightly popular - ever! In fact, I'm rather shy and quiet in real life. Unless you're talking about one of my favorite things - space, history, ponies, comics - I don't talk much even if directly spoken to. And here, everyone seemed so happy to see me, and talk to me, it was overwhelming! People talked to me on Skype, which was very unique as most of my friends in RL (both of them) don't like chatting on such devices. I don't always like it either, but if you say something to me in Skype or Facebook, I'll be happy to talk for a while.
I did enjoy being popular, even if only minorly so. It made me want to be more of a part of Everypony. I wanted to do karaoke, and the secret Santa, and even thought about becoming a moderator. I wanted people to come to me with their problems, seeking my wisdom and understanding.
I suppose I should mention here, if you don't know, I'm one of the oldest bronies on here - and that may be part of the reason for my semi-popularity: I was an oddity.
I realize I'm not going to be "that" guy - the one everyone goes to for advice, for help, for a comforting shoulder. I wish I was - and maybe I am with some people. And I'm not going to be that guy I once was - posting ten times every day, getting PM's every week, and notifications every day.
But, I don't plan on leaving, either. I suppose I need Everypony more than it needs me, but I'll come by here when I can, and post a few silly things, maybe making a thread now and then, and I'll talk to anyone who wants to - Sky, Facebook or right here at Everypony - and if it falls on the right day, maybe I'll sing some karaoke with those that do that sort of things, and if I get enough money, I'll join the secret Santa - next year should be better, unless my cat gets sick again. And, of course, I'll always be brony.
In closing, I'd like to say thanks for making all the time I've spent here enjoyable. Not all of the people I remember from my first joining are still here, but that's OK - people need to go down their own paths. Maybe I'll cross them again.
Just remember, you're entire life has led you to this point, to being at your computer, reading this silly blog statement, searching for something meaningful to say, trying to explain what's in my heart and head, and still failing. And for that, I thank you.
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