Socially Messed up

Published by Lord NightStrike in the blog Lord NightStrike's blog. Views: 548

Its funny some people are social Butterflies others are social and others are socially awkward. I sadly don't fall under any of those terms. I personally am Socially messed up. The reason for me to say this is because, When ever I leave the house whether I was going to school, The store or the mail box no matter where or how I was getting there I always had my phone/mp3 player playing music full blast. My reason for that is the fact i just don't like people for some reason, yeah I'll make friends but i just don't like people talking to me don't ask me why because I just don't know. Now the reason I'm messed up is because I battle depression and with that comes suicide (I know hot topic) which is a hard battle because, my father took his own life back in February 1991 I was born Dec/09/1990 just to give you a idea of how old i was and my mother attempted so suicide so it's rather close to me. now how that makes me socially messed is, I can't stand not having a friend to talk to it drives me insane and throws for a loop into depression which is cause by loneliness and I know I just contradicted myself. I just said i don't like people so, why should it bother me to not talk to my friends. I guess you could say I'm addicted to talking to friends i don't know but it that is the case I have no clue what to do well i just wanted to talk about myself give who ever reads my blogs a deeper understanding of me.

p.s Again if this by chance breaks any rules i will remove it thank you.
Jun 2, 2013
  • Safireskies
    Safireskies Jun 2, 2013
    I kinda get where you coming from. I was raised in a military family so in reality it was just me, mom and my brother when I was growing up. I'm not socially awkward either. I call it being socially maladjusted. I like having friends and all, but for the most part I avoid others. Especially when I have no idea what we would even discus. You're not alone. I find that when I do feel lonesome taking sometime outside with fresh air and a sketch pad I feel much better. Indulging in a hobby can help take the edge off.
  • Firetip Inspire
    Firetip Inspire Jun 2, 2013
    I completely understand, my father died when I was 11, He was abusive, verbal most of the time. physically mostly to my mom. my mom was scarred and frightened after he passed so I mostly raised myself when my mother couldn't. She did try though. after he died I did what I could to help support the family. on top of a regular school wide bullying at school I had little to no friendly interactions. Which left me as introverted as fluttershy on a bad day during her menstrual cycle. Also being diagnosed with *Ahem* Major Depression, chronic PTSD, psychosis, Ticks (mild tourettes), Schitzo (inability to trust), and ADHD. didn't help. I had a 3 year long depression I got out of by making my first friend in high school. Being in the army has made me more sociable SO I DO understand you. and I'm here if you ever need to talk cause I'm glad to call you a friend Nightstrike ^_^
  • Lord NightStrike
    Lord NightStrike Jun 2, 2013
    I want to personally thank you both it's always good to know your not alone and also Safireskies I get the same way when I get involved with my hobby sadly some would view it as destructive gaming lol Destructive because I'm not doing anything but sitting there lol well it gets my mind off of crap that's all I care about and again Thank you.
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