Villainous at heart

Hey everypony. It's been a while since I did one of these huh? Well I decided to make on today to express myself personally once again. But this time, it about my darker emotions and what help alleviate my darker desires.

Now I know all of you that do keep track of my blogs know my tight love for Queen Chrysalis and she does indeed help me at times during days where I feel devious. She'll always be number one in my heart as far as MLP FiM goes. Yet there are times where she isn't the one I need to alleviate some deeper suppressed emotions.

Lately in the past day or so, I've been thinking about my issues. More importantly my inner burning hate, my sadistic nature that is slowly growing more and more. Then it hit me. You know that new Mario Party game that came out on the Wii U right? You get the option to play as the Mario characters and for multiplayer, you can even play as the big bad himself, Bowser. I know there are those that may like to play as Bowser to mess with their friends for the heck of it. Me... It goes deeper than that. Boswer alleviates the deepest of my darkest emotions. My want to harm, my want to harm myself, my general dislike of the populous around me. He clears it all in one wondrous foul swoop. To feel myself be the big bad, to have the ability to watch as Mario and crew run from me in fear. To watch them be in pain as I torture them in the Bowser mini games... it just brings a feeling of schadenfreude that help me feel better. To know I can cause so much pain and chaos without consequence. It nearly is like I was Bowser himself. It has made me wonder if maybe I am attracted to villains because of what they can represent in my actual life. Am I a villain at heart? Maybe.