Clockwork's blog

Lights, dancing lights. After a good sleep, no...terrible sleep, or maybe a mad sleep, but a sleep none the less, I finally headed off to find the ruins of my mind in this blasted forest. As I reach ever so closer to my last fragments of me, I feel my life draining, my life being my sanity. What darkness loomed around the corner of my mind, I need tranquility, I needed hope, I needed more answers, and many questions do I have. There, the horizon, a bloody ruin, filled with torches and lost emotions of my mind! I made it, I made it...but for what? I came to regain broken fragments, lost gaps of my mind...but this...this makes me think if I want to do it, maybe I want to stay insane! maybe the darkness in my savior and that the light has betrayed me long ago...no not after this far in, not after this much pain and suffering, I must find answers, I must find myself, no matter what the cost. If I find the devil himself in that ruin, in that lost piece of my mind, I wouldn't be surprised.

It has been an hour, and I haven't made my first step into the ruins, what is wrong with me? What is holding me back!? Is it my sanity! Is it my insanity!? I need these answers more than ever now. I finally took a step in, and my pain, my unease, my suffering, gone in a matter of seconds. I saw old parts of my, young parts of me, kept safe in the darkest reaches of my mind. Why did I put them there? Why here? that I do not know. I walked up to a younger me, one without the metal cased wings and the metal hooves because of that accident, that one fateful and fate-less day. I remember it clearly. I remember creating a machine, with blades and everything. I turned it on and SHING I felt the top of my wing fly off in a bloody mess. Then the blades fell apart and were flung at my hooves, cutting them clear off. I made a note to myself, after all of that pain, stay away after turning on a machine with blades. Tonight, I rest in these ruins, hoping to find the answers tomorrow.

(OOC: This is the beginning of my story, please follow along.)

day one. All alone, All alone, stranded in the middle of nowhere, my mind lost and scurrying about as I sat at the tree stump. This will be my final journal and not for my work, no no no, for my life, the last segments of my life. I know that the end is coming, I can feel death's hoof nearing my shoulder and I can see the sand of my hour glass running out, no time to waste, no time to sleep, and this was no time to die. I had to get out of here, to many things watching me, ready to make me their next meal, I know that if I stay a moment longer, that if I can't breath the fresh air of a normal city, I will die in this forest. I remember why I came here to this blasted forest. Ruins, old ruins that could help expose past life, the life that ceased to exist after many years. I knew where I was, I was in the forest of my mind, and that what I am writing is not a journal in my hooves right now, but yet a mental note, a note of insanity. I know where I am in the real world. I am at my chair, figuring out plan for a steam powered movable machine. I must search for the ruins, the ruins of my old life, the chaos that ensued here long ago left my mind shattered into countless pieces Those THINGS that call themselves ponies, those THINGS that damaged my life! I can forgive them, and I can move on, my top priority is to find my way, my living self, fragments of my once lost mind, fragments....of my broken heart.

note to self: put this on paper once you find the ruins. I may have gone mad.