My Bleeding Heart

That's four...jeez...alright. Time for roundup.

Slow and Quiet Pianos-Diego Adrian Manriquez

Just sit down like before,
Stare out the window,
Lose myself in thoughts,
Thoughts that can’t be spoken aloud,
Because if anyone hears them they’ll think I’m going crazy,
That’s the last thing I’d really want to someone that cares for me,
It’s super important that one does,
Because mentally I feel better when I don’t say a word,
To those I’ve think I’ve grown close to,
Like family and friends,
But in the end who is really there?
Who is really there?

I just want to wash away these footsteps I’ve left in the sand,
I want to let go of everything I’ve held on to so long,
Because these memories they come back to me and again I feel so empty,
Turning one of the most brightest days into an dark night,
I don’t think I’m strong enough to tell myself that tomorrow will be better,
I don’t think I can trick myself into thinking that I’m ready for the world,
Because I’m afraid,
To open these closed eyes.

I don’t want to see,
I mean it’s not like I have a choice,
I want someone to talk to but when I do I lose my voice,
It’ll take forever to get things off my chest,
But for now I’ll write them down so when the time comes I know I can do,
It’s not all about me though,
Sometimes I wonder if my mom can still look at me the same way she did when she gave me baths,
As that little boy that she loved and showed the path,
She’s all that really matters to me,
But I’ve done so much that has kept her looking down on me,
I want to change; I want to change,
But I don’t know how,
I can see her perspective as clear as day because I’ve been through the same with my father.

I feel sympathetic,
I feel so weak,
I can’t easily forgive the man who destroyed me,
But I want to,
If this isn’t passionate enough,
Wait till you hear me scream,
I miss the old days,
But what’s the point in crying?
I miss the old days,
Then what’s the point in trying,
To make this miserable time tougher than it needs to be?
I need to scream,
I need to scream,
This is far too personal,
This is far too deep,
I need to be strong,
I need to stay on my own two feet,
I cannot give up,
I won’t be defeated,
I’m young and ignorant,
I’ve got plenty of time to make things better,
Here I am screaming these last few things off my chest,
There’s only one thing I need left to say,
It’s that I’m in love with a girl,
But she doesn’t even remember my name,
I’ll make it through this,
I’ll be okay,
A new chapter in my life and it’s finally starting to look like a book.






I found it, edited it, and posted it to share with you guys. Thought I should for...well...I can relate to it greatly. Working on a video for it.

Lot to figure out for myself. Seperated from society too long and...no one understands you or takes the time. Like how many of you have ever been left alone with little care? How many of you have had to depend on yourself rather than others? I'm sure there's a few.

Me? I may be looked weird after this, but I'll still say it.

I grew up with my imagination. Learning to support myself and creating...imaginary friends to support me along the way. Guess who they were...Raised by...well...really myself, I became distant from everyone. Learning people, boundaries, limits, customs, so on...it's all a pain, but I still keep trying. Many of my friends (The real ones) get it...somewhat. Few though can understand it by heart.They've been through it themselves. They know what it's like and those are my closest and truest of friends. There are still a few I'm trying to get to understand, but it's not easy. Even with open minds, they're not seeing something. That's why I write.

The Crimson Rose is a story I made. It's more of a diary really. A stallion with a diary...I know...but I tried it when I was a kid and began to vent. Problem is that there's no one to hear me out. To truly see eye to eye and feel heart to heart. I wonder when that day will come. So like my personal OC, I travel in the shadows looking for a light. Like Luna, I need to be understood and reintroduced to everyone. Been away for too long. Sure I haven't been gone a thousand years, but it hurts just to feel that solitude for even a day...*sighs*

Time to begin...

Wing is my nickname. Not just because it's short for Wingweaver0, but it means that I wing things. I've always done things by instinct. It gets me in trouble at times, but my instincts haven't failed me yet. I've got myself this far. Age 17 now and well...not much to say. My story isn't something people wish to hear. Too...too much for them.

How did I get here?

MLP:FiM has come into my life. I honestly want part of it. Shame such happiness and innocense like so isn't real. It's possible here in our world, but not as easy. For those who haven't had it in so long, it seems impossible. Why? They've never had it. How would they know if it's possible?

Learning about ocs, I made Crimson Rose. My first pony oc. A mare of mystery who came from Everfree Forest. Raised by Zecora. Hidden away from civilization, she tries to open up to society only to be looked down on. Why? She was different and came from a very dark place. It was AJ (Apple Jack) who opened up to her first. She was a personal oc in a ways and many characters later, I noticed they were all a part of me.

Luneth Crescent. My personal oc came about. He's an alicorn who plays god to see if he can understand life. In a ways, he is a god for he is creator and destroyer of this universe. Sometimes, he shifts forms to get closer to ponies which is where Crimson Rose fits in. One of his many forms. God is not perfect. He's as flawed as us. That's why Luneth is who he is. Out of the void, he must learn again.