Welcome to the blog of Queen Chrysalis~ What I talk about is random. Whether it's ponies or IRL stuff, It'll be posted here. I'll be posting at my leisure, so don't bother expecting daily bog posts.
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  1. Yeah. It's my Birthday today. It's not so great, all it is to me is the day of my birth. A reminder of our mortality and that were are one year closer to death as well. It maybe great as a kid, but if feels like it has no point now-a-days. I also hate restaurants that feel the need to Celebrate it. Stupid corporate a-holes. It's one of those things where I sometimes want to say who flippin' cares?

    We move on anyway after the day is done. We don't give it a second thought the next day after it. It's pointless, like Halloween. Well Halloween in the more recent years. You get my point. I also know that I'm going to get a lot of comments saying that I shouldn't be sad or not feeling like it's not worth anything. Save your breath. I've heard it too many time to count.

    If you want to say Happy Birthday, that is fine. I'll probably say 'thanks' but really, I don't really give a flip about this day. About the only thing of significance this day is Cinco de Mayo. That isn't really a celebration for anything either as much as people think it is. It's more or less a day for people to get piss drunk, like St. Patrick's Day. I'd say the other word for it but it would get censored.

    Anyway, have a happy Cinco de Mayo I guess. Avoid the roads tonight, if you don't have to go anywhere urgent. Drunks will be taking over the roads, so yeah.
  2. After some thinking about it and considering things... I've pretty much figured out that I'm a trans. Well a particualr person on this forum is to thank for helping me realize this sooner.

    You know who you are~ :zebra:

    Anyway, yeah. As much as I kinda didn't want it to believe it first... I think I've come to terms with this fact. All the signs were there. I just needed to be guided in the right direction. So do with that what you will.

    Spaghetti...
  3. I know that I lightly mentioned a dark side to me but... I never clarified what it can do or what needed to happen to trigger it. It's my own fault for not mentioning it since I didn't think I'd need to worry about it coming up... that was wishful thinking, but unfortunately, pretty recently, the darker part of me did somewhat come out.

    I'm not going to bring up the topic it happened in, for the sake of not bring up more drama, but it's because my protective instincts kicked in, that I ended up getting very aggressive. The thing is, this darker self is triggered through negative attacks or in general attacks. Even if a action isn't, sometimes my mind can perceive it as an attack. If I am attacked, or perceiving an attack, my mind set changes to a more violent one and I can have a sudden emotional high. This is when I feel like I must defend myself and any others who maybe attacked. I am sincerely sorry if you encounter that with me, but it's sometimes something that can get out of my control, especially if I reach the level of blood rage.

    And if I can explain what I mean by Blood Rage, I like to call it my point of no return. This is when my emotion high reaches a breaking point and I no long have control of my baser instincts. I go into a blind rage and start attacking anything that merely looks at me funny. Until the adrenaline in my system stops coursing, I will look to try to punch someone or something. I typically only can get enough control to divert the punch to hit a wall before I harm someone but it does end up being a scary experience for the former attacker, now victim. And in some cases, even for me. Depending on how bad my blood rage gets, I sometimes will have a brief moment of depression. This is because truthfully, I do fear that I will hurt someone. I don't like hurting people, but when they push me it is in someway, their own fault for pushing me and getting hurt or injured.

    I just felt like I need to explain this... It really hurts me when I reach these points but it serves to tell you guys before I get another one of these moments. It's even worse in person with me. I don't blood rage online too often, thankfully.

    This is just to serve as a friendly warning that I can get... unstable.
  4. So with my recent 100 posts, I've promised myself to do a blog post. I intend on making good on my own word.

    With me getting comfy and making friends, I think an a bit of an explanation to why I pick Chrysalis as best villain is in order (No offense to any of the other villains... especially Tirek...). The thing is, I guess I like the kind of personality Chrysalis has. She is confident in her skills and does everything in her power, seen and unseen to have things go in her favor. I also love that cute laugh she has soo much... But yeah she plays as a strong villain and she loves what she does, and honestly isn't afraid to show it. That's also why Discord comes in second as best Villain for me, loving what he does.

    But with Chrysi... I think the biggest thing is that I like strong female roles, villain or nor. Chrysalis is a rather confident and strong villain with plenty to lose and nothing to that can tell her 'no'. I find it appealing and... attractive... *blushes*
  5. Since there are allot of firsts for me, I figured to do my first post on a blog. They are a lot fun for updates or everyday logs. Though I namely use them for updates myself. Anyway, I've been enjoying myself so far and I do hope that I'm making a decent impression. I know I maybe coming off as a bit mysterious or secretive but as I warm up to people here more, I may consider filling out more of my profile. It's mostly due to my shyness, but also I would like to make sure I can trust ponies here. Not that I can't but you never know sometimes. I'm sure everypony here is trustworthy, it's just me being cautious is all.