Jyrki Katainen

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I will commemorate this joyous opening with two videos.

Video 1 will introduce the season.

Video 2 will encourage you to sign up at your nearest polling station, ready for the Incipisphere general election.

[video=youtube;bT2gfHU6yCU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT2gfHU6yCU[/video]

[video=youtube;GPPKCT-XpfM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPPKCT-XpfM[/video]

Now, ladies and gentlemen, STRIFE!

This week, Israel.

Kol ‘od balleivav penimah
Nefesh yehudi homiyah,
Ul(e)fa’atei mizrach kadimah,
‘Ayin letziyon tzofiyah;

‘Od lo avdah tikvateinu,
Hatikvah bat shnot alpayim,
Lihyot ‘am chofshi be’artzeinu,
Eretz-tziyon (v)'Y(e)rushalayim.


As long as in the heart, within,
A Jewish soul still yearns,
And onward, towards the ends of the east,
An eye still gazes toward Zion;

Our hope is not yet lost,
The hope of two thousand years,
To be a free people in our land,
The land of Zion and Jerusalem.


I apologise for not having the original Hebrew script, but vBulletin is stupid.

I shan't explain pronunciation for now.

lun body (as in 'body of water') -> lu-u-un
selksa water -> se-elk-esa
tarak reich -> ta-rak-ak
jain jain -> ja-i-in
tet small -> te-e-et
pákur currency -> pá-aku-ur
tralksrut ground -> tra-alksru-ut
tralokorut cake -> tra-lokoru-ut

Jain is a heavily agglutinative language (meaning many morphemes in a word). Using this as a base, I took inspiration from the agglutination of Finnish and German, flipped it on its head and added more.

In German, if you want to say, for example, 'the German Empire', you would take the word for 'the', 'German' and 'Empire'. That's 'Das', 'Deutsch' and 'Reich'. According to German adjective rules, 'Deutsch' should be 'Deutsches'. There we have it. 'Das deutsches Reich'.

In Jain, two things are evident: there are no articles 'The' and 'A', and there are no adjectives. "Wait," I hear you say. "How can there be no adjectives?" That's a fine question, my friend. All adjectives as we know them in English are nouns in Jain. We can see up there that there is 'Tet', meaning 'Small'. This is a noun. It works in the same way as a noun. You can easily say 'I like small' just as you can say 'I like cake'. Easy.

But where does this all fit into forming words in Jain, as shown by the title? This is where agglutination comes in. In German, something like 'Computer games' is 'Computerspiele'. See how the two words are joined? That's how it works in Jain. But with a catch. Everything is in reverse. So what would be 'Computerspiele' in German is 'Spielecomputer' in Jain. Also, don't forget that adjectives are nouns in Jain. This means we can fuse adjectives with nouns. So, if we wanted to say 'Small computer games' in German, we'd say 'Kleine Computerspiele'. In Jain, we say 'Spielecomputerklein' (obviously with Jain vocabulary).

Let's go over this with a simple example. As we can see up there, 'Lun' means 'Body (of something)', 'Selksa' means 'Water' and 'Tet' means 'small'. So, how would we say 'Small body of water'?


'Lunselksatet'? Precisely. This is, in fact, one of the easier words to form, due to the absense of sound change and metathesis and what-not, but we won't go into that.

Now, you may have noticed the things next to the words, such as 'lu-u-un' being next to 'Lun'. This is how we form the small form of words. These are words used in an informal context. If we were writing a letter to a boss or somebody, we would use the long form in nearly all words (the long form is stuff like 'Lunselksatet'). The short form, however, is, well, short.

To form it using two words, say, 'Lun' and 'Selksa' to make 'Body of water', we would take the initial form of 'Lun' (from 'lu-u-un'), which is 'Lu-'. Then, we would take the final form of 'Selksa', which is '-sa'. Join them together, what do you get?


'Lusa'! Hurrah!

Now, you ask me, what do we do about a third word'. Well, let's go back to our previous example of 'Lunselksatet'. Remember what that was made up of? 'Lun', 'Selksa' and 'Tet'. In this case, we need to take the middle form from 'selksa', which is '-elk-', and the final form from 'tet', which is '-et'. Join them together with 'Lu-', and what do you get?


'Luelket'! Hurra- wait. That isn't right. The combination 'ue' isn't allowed! In this case, we have to erase one of the vowels. Most likely, that'll be the one from the middle, as that's typically the biggest morpheme (compare 'elk' with 'lu'. Which has more letters?)

So, we take the 'e' away from '-elk', and we're left with 'Lulket', meaning 'Small body of water' again! Now we've got it. This is what you'd use in an informal situation, such as talking to a friend.


I hope you enjoyed reading my not-so-brief-and-possibly-confusing explanation on that area of Jain. I can't be bothered to write any more.

Bet none of you have a ship as sexy as mine.

God save our gracious Queen!
Long live our noble Queen!
God save the Queen!
Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us:
God save The Queen!
O Lord our God arise,
Scatter her enemies,
And make them fall:
Confound their politics,
Frustrate their knavish tricks,
On Thee our hopes we fix:
God save us all.
Thy choicest gifts in store,
On her be pleased to pour;
Long may she reign:
May she defend our laws,
And ever give us cause
To sing with heart and voice
God save the Queen!

Here's the story in its magical entirety.

I started playing SMG2 at 116 stars, with a comet medal to get.

I got two stars and a comet medal, and it was painful. I died many times.

Then I went to get the 119th star.

I died infinite times, and eventually turned off the Wii in frustration.

I didn't save.

I. Didn't. Save.

GODDAMMIT.

I encountered the farmer pirates twice. TWICE. CONSECUTIVELY!!

Pairing that with an Orc Captain who leveled up multiple times was rather annoying.

But hey. I need to get everyone up to level 40 before I can even attempt anything more in episode 5.

And I bet nobody reads this.