TurkThePony's blog

I don't know if anyone cares to read this but i need someone to at least listen...

I need to stop playing this stupid ****ing game of dota 2. I'm gonna lose my mind and I'm wasting time on it. I don't know what is holding back. This is why my mother doesn't like me playing vieeo games. Brings out the worst me and plus I have an addiction problem. I want to get back to my work but I keep making excuses. Jesus ******, I need to get away from all of it and focus on what is really important. This is why I go threw A lot of "I hate Video games" Phases.
Apologies for the language since I dislike swearing in general.

Other Topic that's a bit off topic but relate to the top topic.

I like to go on Adventures but since the majority of my friends like to play video games all day, I'm subjected to this state where i stay at home and play games. This is why I go to the mall...alone. This is why Eat at restaurants...alone.
Sometimes I get that look from others saying that I might be a loner, since i don't eat with anyone but myself when I go out and I don't like to eat alone. Yes, I tried to get new friends but my Co workers friends just want to drink and smoke weed. I don't hang around with people who do drugs. I'm a Good child and don't want to deal with stuff like that.

Look, I may not be the most interesting guy you ever met but At least I do a lot with you. I give shows, I give you money if you need it, I do work with ya, I play with ya, I'm nice too ya, I give all i can too ya, and etc.... But it seems like its never enough to most people. I may give you gold but in the end, I get nothing. Could it ever strike you to actually care for someone then caring for yourself? Like listen too them? ... I mean, I take care the home from cutting grass to cleaning the house. On the Plus side, I need to take care of both my grandparent's sides of my parent's Mother and Father. I do there chores and needs and yeah...I could be doing others things, but I have to make time for them, regardless.

The moral of this Story is that...I need someone with me. I don't like being alone.

Heh...This may sound a little corny but maybe this why I can relate to Applejack. She hard working, takes care of family and like to do fun things but is sometimes taken for granted. Called a Background pony to some. I don't like it to be that way for her sake.

Well this suck. I got cut incredibly deep in my Pinkie Finger and hit the bone. Not I got stitches for it and I wish to bend my finger but i know i can't. Hurts to type on this keyboard. It maybe be my drawing finger but thankful its my pinkie, so I can still draw. Stupid knife. Can't i believe my hand at work got caught in that blade.

Last night dream was something else. I found myself in my old high school where there was a dance party but Ignored it and walked around. Found the computer room and hanged out there for a while till I got bored and started walking around again. I went up the second level of the school and found a mlp club and I saw so many bronies in there and they were watching episodes from season 1 and I just cheered into excitement and rushed into the room and found my friend there as well. We watched, we laughed, we even talked about it. Man it's been a long time since I had a dream about this.

The con about the dream is that somehow my co-worker from my job, Matt who thinks it is wrong for men to watch mlp and wishes i would stop watching it, even at work, was in the dream and walks into the room and said "you guys do realize that your watching a show ment for 10 year old girls, right?"

Everyone laughed and so did I and leaves the room and we continue watching it. The dream ends there and now I'm awake.

You know...Sometimes, I wonder why I still come back here. I don't get much joy coming here anymore. This place use to be great and Last year was the most awesomeness time of being here during the time period of The Beginning of 2012 till the beginning of Fall. But somethings started to change around here. I'm not gonna accuse or people fingers at anyone but I think the magic around here is wearing thin and I mean Thin. How do I describe is something to me, even I can't describe.

These past four months, I've been thinking...and you know what? This place. Oh man, this place. Is starting to become nothing but a bunch of dead pigeons, lately. Maybe that is a poor choice of words to describe on what I really feel of this place but it seems to be what I see is a popularity thing going on. I know i don't participate to the radio shows or chat or Contribute to anything other then my art and conversation for that matter but I really don't know what say or bring up an interesting topic to grasp others attention.

I'm not leaving but I get this feeling a lot when I come here that is forum has become, dare I say...Boring.

The only interesting times I get from is the Show and my Real-life friends...Not here.

I'm gonna say this now since this is how I feel sometimes when I come here but I seem...forgotten around here or seen but ignored.

Don't think of me as I wrote this as attempt to beat you up since I never do such a think. I feel this way sometimes and it bugs me...a lot.

Well too all that have been keeping up on my recent work. You have seen that I made major changes from my past work when I first came here in August till now. I'm am proud those who kept me going and supported me and myself as well. Working on my tablet and creating characters has become my second job and I very much enjoy everything minute when I pick up that pen.

You Guys and Gals might of notice that my work is getting a bit more detailed then my earlier work, as in shadows, shading, etc. Well this me trying to put a little more and more into my work as I go on. That...and I'm still practicing with Photoshop. Still have a few things to learn from this program but I'm always up for a challenge. I might get this question or someone had this on their mind but why no backgrounds? Seems bland without anything to really me aroused or amazed then just the character alone. Well this is true. To answer this is that I'm still practicing and I'm still working on Character design and still need practice some more. I do make notice to people here and on DA and my Facebook on how my progress on my work is coming along, so no pony get left out on whats going on.

The good thing right now is that you guys and gals have been by my side supporting me from the start and keeping me going is my prime adjective. I'm trying as hard as possible to get my work out to the public. I've posted in my work in so many areas to get the word out for me and my work and that is just the start. I'm trying to get contact with EqD and still haven't heard from them....Still trying, tho. Talent is found where you least suspect it.

I'm not giving up for nothing. Quitters never win. I'm Reaching for a dream that many tried and gave up too easily but not this one. Doesn't matter how many time you knock me down, I will get back up. I don't care how long it takes. If it takes me to that day I become an old man then so be it. With Dedication and believing in one self...anything is possible.

Thank you for Reading and Listening and Thank you for the Support.

This is Jeffrey Edwards aka TurkThePony Signing Out.