Hey hey. Poetry has always been a good way for me to turn my weirder brainwaves into something substantial. And recently I also picked up writing in English. I usually keep my poetry to myself, and very rarely I let my parents read it. If you have the time, please read it and tell me what you think. I'd love to have some feedback. Crystals There's crystals falling from endless white skies As I'm crossing the hills of this dream world of ice The wind chills my face as I stand where they'll land To catch them like dreams in the palm of my hand I feel their gentle cold brush and I beg them to stay But as quickly as any dream they fade away Shadow Side Last night a cold voice came to me In ghastly tones it spoke to me ´t Spoke of a world, so grim to see That lies beyond the edge of sleep It bid me to be full of fear This distant world lies very near It lies within the heart of all Where it awaits our final fall The people they were shades of grey So far away from light were they Not ever did they smile and dream Of how their world could have been Storm No one left to hold my hand When the storm approaches My spirit, now it stands alone Within these unnamed truths Burning brightly on the eyes A forbidden song of life That's what I have found The light, the dark, I see unfold As they're rushing through my mind They're making me their battlefield They're making me their playground Now I'm screaming my own name As I pull loose from both of them I'm falling through the summer wind Outside, in the pouring rain Cold and bitter, rich with life Is that where I originate Foundations of my birth The haven of my very soul Loneliness, melancholy And ever lasting love Out there, in the desert sands I fell down to my knees My tears were stained with blood And I sang, I screamed I let the heavens burst I let the heavens know That I would never leave
Very nice I for one like poetry and I could read them over and over and not get bored! That is always a good sign!
The last poem sounds a little like a part in my fan fiction. There is a poem in my fiction, but you can do way better than any crap I made.
Now, I don't know much about poetry ....... But I love your use of colour and weather in your work. The first poem being centred upon frost and coldness, reflected in the shining beauty of crystals, the second being very grey based and dark. I also like the emotive language you use in the second one, words like "grim" and "ghastly" really impact onto the whole mood of the poem. Finally, the last one, and how it's presented as if the wind is part of the struggle blends together beautifully. Keep writing as you are man, poetry is meant to envoke images in your mind, and these certainly did that
Well, I'm very glad my poems managed to communicate the imagery and ambience that I wanted them to have. I love to use abstract themes like weather, colors and landscapes to turn that 'feel' into words. Sometimes I succeed, but sometimes I only end up frustrated. But that's part of the process, I guess. Thanks again guys.
unlike poetic I really know nothing about poetry, but I do know and like something the makes me think/feel. You have done that my friend.
An almost fantasy-eque style and focus, that concentrates mainly on emotions felt than telling a story or what not. Imagery is geared towards this goal to make introverted looks at the narrator's feelings. My favourite is 'Storm' in that it has a clear idea of what is going on and ideas I can relate too. 'Crystals' is a close second in it's simple and innocent tone along with the aethereal directions of the language. Seems to fit the idea of a snow day rather well. I'm not sure about 'Shadow Side' as it's point goes clean over my head and seems non-commital about a rhyme scheme. These are really nice pieces of work, though. Good job.
This one...very lovely. I'm very picky with my poetry, as my dream line of work runs on it, but this little gem is defeintly a good read. Thanks for uploadin' it <3
