the Life of Skater Written by the pony skater himself Skater woke up that day with high hopes. The sun was shining, the clouds were cleared, and everypony was outside enjoying the beautiful day. He shot out of bed, into the shower, and put on his favorite skate shoes. “Where are you going, Sweetie?” said the voice from in the bed, which happened to be his girlfriend, Rainbow Dash. “It’s a beautiful day, so I wanna go to the skate park and do a bit of skateboarding!” answered the grayish pony as he went to the door. “Just be home by 8:00, we have to go to…” “Pinkie Pie’s party, I know, I’ll be here!” He went into his garage to remember his board had snapped. “*squee!*! What am I gonna do now-” at that moment, Derpy Hooves delivered him a package. He opened up the box to find a new skateboard. “Right on time!” exclaimed the excited pony. He took the board out of the box and raced to the skate park. About halfway their, Applejack had stopped him. “Howdy, partner!” she said in a cheerful voice. “Oh, hey Applejack! What’s up?” he asked her. “I need a little help with some apple bucking. Care to lend me a hand?” “Well, I was just on my way to the skate park, but I guess I could help!” She led him to the barn and locked the barn door. Skater looked frantically around the darkened room. “Uh, Applejack? I thought we were apple bucking.” he said sort of dazed. “We are, just not THAT kind of apple bucking” she suddenly smiled and winked. “b- but I’m d- dating Rainbow Dash!” he said desperately. He ran towards the door and tried to unlock it. “Sorry, partner, but it’s no use!” the freckle faced pony said. Suddenly, Skater remembered he knew magic. “Pfff, how could I be so stupid!” he created a key, put it in the lock, and ran away with his skateboard. Applejack looked disappointed. “Hmm, I wonder if it would feel the same if I did it with a hog. Hey, betty! Get over here! I wanna try something!” said Applejack. Skater continued to go towards the skate park. He finally arrived to his destination around 4:30. He went inside to find all his skater friends, which were Darkystar, Scootaloo, Flipster, and Applebutters. “Hey, guys!” exclaimed Skater with a grin. He noticed a big spot of blood on one of the ramps. “What the hell is that?” the grayish pony said, pointing to the ramp. “Trixie kept bothering me, so I hit her in the back of the *squee!*ing head with my board” said Flipster. “Aw, man! I wish I could’ve seen that!” said Skater with a surprised look on his face. “well, we gonna skate or what?” asked Scootaloo. “WE are, but you just stick to that stupid little scooter.” Darkystar said with a smile. “go to hell, Darky.” said Scootaloo. “already their, Scootaloo.” exclaimed Darkystar. Skater got on his board and started skating around the park and doing some tricks. Hours passed by and Skater was still Skating. “Yo, what time is it? I gotta be home by 8:00.” “Uh, Skater?” said Applebutters. “It’s 9:00.” A look of horror took over Skater’s face. “oh, Celestia damn it, I gotta go! Bye, guys!” Skater raced to Pinkie Pie’s house in 10 seconds flat. He opened the door and walked inside. “Hey, everypony! I’m he-” Skater was shocked at the image presented before his eyes. Big Macintosh was making out with Rainbow Dash. He wanted to slit Big Mac’s throat. “What the *squee!* are you doing with my girlfriend!” Skater asked in full rage mode. “What does it look like? I’m frenching your girl!” Big Mac said. Skater walked over to him and socked him in the snout. “Do that again, Skater, and your de-” Skater stomped on his balls, then kicked him in the stomach. Their lied Big Macintosh, knocked out on the floor, blood running out his snout. “Why would you do that to me, Dash!?” asked Skater, blinded with fury. “you failed to show up, so I wanted to teach you never to be late again.” Rainbow Dash said. “But now that you’re here, what do you say we go over to that bed and-” Before Rainbow Dash could finish, Skater stomped out the door and went home. He sat on his couch, still angry at Big Macintosh and Rainbow Dash. He finally decided to go upstairs and fall asleep. He woke up the next morning, angry at life. He went downstairs and turned on MTV and watched for a little bit, until he got a phone call about his little brother misbehaving at school. He headed down to the school and trotted in. The teacher was their at the front of the office. “Please enter my office, Skater.” she said in a kinky voice. “so what did jerry do this time?” the grayish pony asked. “Oh, he did nothing, I just wanted a reason to get you here.” Skater saw where this was going, he knew what she was implying. He chose to play along. “Then what do you need?” he asked. “more kids for my classroom, if you know what I mean” she said, keeping her voice kinky and quiet. Skater came out of the office worn out. (sorry, kids, no sex scene for you) “that was great!” he said to himself, only imagining how she got so good at it. He walked home happily and went inside him house. He picked up an xbox remote and began playing Call of Pony: Black Clops. He ripped through hundreds of nonstop hordes of vicious zombies. He eventually became tiered and went to bed. The next day he woke up, he saw pinkie pie in his house. “Pinkie, why are you in my house?” he asked her with a confused face. “I heard you were all saddy waddy, so I thought I would be able to turn that frown upside down! Want a cupcake?” she said with a grin. “Sure, why not?” He took a bite out of the cupcake to notice the inside was rainbow colored. “Pinkie… why is this cupcake rainbow colored?” He asked. “well, you seemed kind of mad about her kissing Big Macintosh, so I used her as the main ingredient!” To skater, it seemed like the world froze as he stared at the cupcake. A single tear ran down from his eye. “Why in the *squee!* did you do that!? She had so much to live for!” He suddenly felt tired. “why am I s-so sleepy?” he asked lazily. “I added a little something extra that would calm you down, I knew you would react like this!” she stared at him with a messed up smile. Skater had no idea why he did what he did next. It all happened too fast. As he held the gun in his hand, and saw the bullet in Pinkie’s head, he thought to himself what have I done? He then dragged her body to his backyard and buried her. He then ran out of Ponyville. He couldn’t live anymore. He was a murderer, a criminal, he had no choice. He pulled the trigger, then fell to the floor with blood covering his head.
