Badvice!

nonsense, get a pet, feed the pet food to it, then eat the pet.

It's raining, but i want to play tennis. What should I do?

 

roll around in the dirt. It's nature's antiseptic.

i have a pencil stuck in my ceiling 0.0 help

 

Throw it in a neighbors yard.
I'm hungry. Where should i get a taco?

 

Any location with "billy" in the name, or cakes in the window. Also, be sure to only speak in spanish when ordering.

I am tired of my pale skin.

 

Bite its head off on stage.

I don't like taking pills. Should I, I don't know, open up a fluoxetin-capsule and put it in my beer to make it a little bit more tolerable?

 

Of course you should, and toss in anything else you can find that's pill like. You'll never have to take them again.

im trying to train a dog.

 

Listen to everything that Cesar Milan says. You'll break it's spirit in no time!

My bread knife is dull.

 

Sharpen it on the bones of your enemies.

There's ice in my Pepsi.

 

Throw it at a police officer.

My bike pedal broke.

 

Eat the fridge.

I'm getting dizzy when I run in circles.

 

No. That's what made the water salty to begin with. Don't add to the problem.

Ninjas are after me!

 

Whatever you do, don't move. They can only see you when you move.

I need to fix a stuffed bear in the next hour! Helps >.<

 

Drink more, once you replace all the water in your body with it you will adjust.

I'm trying to teach my nephew how to count to 100, he's only 4.

 

Empty all the other three. It's important to keep the air volume in all tires even.

I don't have anything to do right now.

 

The best option for you is to rob a bank, it's both fun and profitable.

A chicken just fell from my roof into my lap.

 

Name it scootaloo and take pictures of it on a scooter and make lots of money from the brony community to bring back myspace and make it more hipster friendly and buy out facebook. Then sell it to rival terrorist groups and make a profit by leaking the posts to Allied terrorist hunting agencies.

I'm cold